mentally run down

LegacyUser

Right, feeling a bit down this last while. Feel like I'm invisible in work, feel like I'm there just so some 'friends' (I have some decent friends though) can have a laugh by making fun of me. The ironic thing is I see more of the friends who put me down than my other friends. Doesn't say much for my self esteem really.
Over the last few years, I went through some emotional/personal changes, which were partly due to a job I was in. I started in a new area recently, and I realise that while I found it tough in my last job, I haven't carried any anger/resentment towards my old job because I'd be hurting no-one but myself.
What I really want to say I suppose is that I feel I've been struggling these last few years, and still feel I haven't gotten a break. Nowadays, I tend to keep me and my opinions to myself, in the past I had often been ridiculed for my opinions. So now I just think it's better to keep my trap shut. It's not me, I used to talk to anyone and everyone, but I don't anymore because I think that what I'm saying is of no use. I will only say something if my opinion is asked.
These feelings have been bouncing around these last few years. I'm not used to talking to people anymore, I've deal with my issues myself (I think this boils down to a friend comparing me to another friend who had lost her father and concluding that it had taken me a 'loooong' time to get over my father's death. Following this, I decided not to talk about my feelings/worries because I think people just aren't interested).
So that's why I'm posting on the internet. Thank you for reading this, it's very long. If you've experienced something along this lines, please post so I can feel I'm not the only one going through this.

Miss Fluff

In what way do your friends put you down OP?

Meathlass

Those work 'friends' sound like a great bunch. It's sad that you seem to be bottling everything up on the basis of one comment. No one knows how they'll react to a parent's death so it's completely unfair to comment on how long you 'took to get over it' - that's just rubbish, there's no time scale on these things. Have you ever thought of counselling or ringing the Samaritians to have a chat?

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff wrote: »

In what way do your friends put you down OP?

As an example, a group of us recently went away, and we were having group photos taken using everyone's camera auto timers. One girl's photo had me cut out at the edge by accident, but she said at least the important people were in it and laughed. She then went off to tell someone else what she had said. It didn't make me feel very good about myself. I think that this particular girl can be very insensitive at times. She's the same girl who said it took me a long time to get over my father's death.

Thanks for your replies...I know it's up to me how I deal with grief in my life, but at the time it cut through me to think that she thought I was whinging when all I needed was a bit of support.

evry1sm8

Sounds to me like they are just insensitive idiots, especially that girl. You are probably better off without those kind of "friends"

markesmith

This may be of little consolation to you, bestrong, but I always feel pity when I hear people saying things like that camera girl said. I think it really reflects on her own insecurities that she'd have to say something like that to you.

Have you considered talking to your doctor, or maybe getting them to refer you to counselling? It sounds like you're in a little bit of a rut, and having 'friends' like these around can't be of any help to you.

Irishcrx

To be honest you should hold yourself better than that, I'd find myself a new group of friends, you don't need people treating you like that, next time she does something like that pull her up on it. Ask her why she feels the need to pry on other peoples insecurities and suggest she takes a close look at herself and how other people may perceive her attitude before judging others, hold your head up high.

LegacyUser

Yes, I do think I'm in a bit of a rut. Normally I'm very upbeat, but I think the last few years are finally taking their toll. I've gotten into the habit of keeping my thoughts to myself which, in hindsight, probably wasn't the best idea! I'll have a think about talking to someone about all this (I'd be dead nervous about opening up), and in the meantime I'll try to get out of my bad habit by saying a little bit more about myself to the people around me.
Thank you for your thoughts on this

Mary28

That girl sounds like an ignorant cow. You can definitely do better than friends like that. I remember being in school and hanging out with girls who weren't particularly the nicest of people. Then a girl transferred to my school and I became friendly with her and realised I was better off with one good friend that lots of crap friends so I cut them out of my life and never looked back.
You shouldn't wouldn't waste your time with friends who say things like that to you. But you do need to start to stand up for yourself a bit and not let people treat you like that. I'd slowly ease my way out of their circle if I were you. Still speak to them but keep your distance. There are lots of ways to make new friends such as joining clubs which will help you meet new people and get out and do things which will also benefit you physically and mentally.

Best of luck.