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Church Wedding

  • 24-01-2008 11:01pm
    #1
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,957 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭


    Hi All,

    Not sure if I should post this here or in Religion & Spirituality, but here goes!

    Does anyone know if there would be an issue with an inter-faith marriage in a Catholic church? My OH is a catholic, but I am not. (I was baptised and made my communion & confirmation as a child but I have since converted and am no longer Christian). It means a lot to my OH if we have a church ceremony, and I've got no problem doing this. The only thing that's worrying me is that the preist/church would have some issue with marrying us.

    We're planning on having a small legal ceremony this year, and then having the blessing in the church when we've got enough saved for a big wedding and reception. (Probably another year or two) so there shouldn't be an issue with the legal side of things as that'll already be taken care of. As I said, I'm all for the church ceremony, but aside from whether or not they'll have a problem with it, there is only one thing that worries me; communion. I haven't taken communion since I was about 12, and tbh, I'd feel totally wrong taking it just for show. Not only would it be hypocritical, but I think it would be disrespectful too. I'm basically worried about how this will go down too.

    Would appreciate if anyone can offer any pearls of wisdom on this, or if anyone has experienced something similar?

    Thanks for reading.:)


Comments

  • #2
    s.cahill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6 ✭s.cahill


    hey,
    went to wedding not so long ago. one was protestant and the other none believer. i don't think they had any difficulties getting wed. so i think theres hope for you still!
    only thing is you have to pretend that you are catholic. you may also need to show your face in the church a couple of times. this shouldn't be a problem for you if you do so. i will be doing the same.


  • #3
    growler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,188 ✭✭✭growler


    Not sure, but I can't see a catholic priest marrying a non-catholic, how can you go through a catholic ceremony if you're not a catholic?


  • #4
    tSubh Dearg
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,555 ✭✭✭tSubh Dearg


    Since all you would be looking for would be a blessing as opposed to the full ceremony, I don't see why the local priest would have any problem with it. I know that in the Church of Ireland that they certainly wouldn't.

    Regarding communion, as a non-Catholic, you wouldn't even be offered it, so it shouldn't be a problem.

    Why not go in and talk to the local parish priest with your fiance (or to whichever parish you intend to have this done in, would it be the parish where your OH grew up, if so they would probably have even less of a problem with it) explain your circumstances and see if you can come to some sort of arrangement.

    Canon Law requires evidence, like any law, so depending on what you converted to there may be no evidence that you are no longer Catholic. If converting involved a ritual with public witnesses or public records (e.g. Mormonism or Judaism) then Canon Law has clear evidence that you are no longer Catholic.

    However if it involved just announcing a new faith (e.g. Islam), a ritual that is not open to the public (e.g. Wicca) or just changing religious practice (e.g. Zen and most other forms of witchcraft) then the Church are officially none the wise unless you tell them. Of course you may feel uneasy just letting them assume otherwise.


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  • #5
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,957 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    Thanks for the replies everyone! The blessing would preferrably be in our local church, which is in the same parish we both grew up. I think I'll sending the OH down to suss out the story with the blessing. His family would be fairly religious, he's the only one who doesn't go to mass every sunday, so his family would know the priests. I'm glad to hear I wouldn't be offered communion if they know I'm not a catholic, I had awful visions of a really awkward moment there.

    As regards there being evidence of religious conversion, there's nothing I can give them, as it involved a ritual not open to the public:p. See, I've been to weddings before where the bride and groom were Catholic & Church of Ireland respevtively, and that was fine. Thing is I'm a Pagan, so depending on the priest I'm worried this will be an issue (I'm not 100% sure on the church's view on this.) If it came down to the crunch, I suppose I could keep schtum and let on I was still a Catholic, but I'd really really prefer not to do this.


  • #6
    tSubh Dearg
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,555 ✭✭✭tSubh Dearg


    I'm in the same position with my fiancé. He's also a Pagan and we're hoping to get married in my local church as well as having a handfasting ceremony.

    I'm C of I though and from what I've found out so far it seems to be doable for us to do both the religious and civil parts at the church but we have to go and have a chat with the rector (who's known me since I was about 9) and hopefully we'll get the go ahead. Otherwise looks like it will be 3 ceremonies for us.


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  • #7
    Talliesin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    Toots85 wrote: »
    I'm glad to hear I wouldn't be offered communion if they know I'm not a catholic, I had awful visions of a really awkward moment there.
    If they know you're not Catholic then their own rules mean they can't give you communion as you aren't in a position to receive the sacrament - ironically this is one of the very reasons why the Catholic Church is opposed to mixed marriages.

    However, "opposed" is not the same as completely forbidding. Mixed marriages do happen all the time. For the most part the biggest sticking point for the Church is whether you'd agree to have any children raised Catholic, if you'd have no problems with that, then it's likely to be possible to arrange.
    Toots85 wrote: »
    As regards there being evidence of religious conversion, there's nothing I can give them, as it involved a ritual not open to the public:p.
    That only matters though if you were going to pretend you were still Catholic.
    tSubh Dearg wrote: »
    I'm in the same position with my fiancé. He's also a Pagan and we're hoping to get married in my local church as well as having a handfasting ceremony.

    I'm C of I though
    CoI are a tad more liberal than Catholics on marriage matters, if you were Catholic we wouldn't have a hope - my having an ex-wife would upset the Catholics more than my not being Christian. Still, that one doesn't seem to matter to the OP.

    There is a lack of clarity and consistency on the whole matter from both Churches, but it does seem that the best place to start is with talking the the priest that will be performing it.


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