is this all there is?

LegacyUser

Hi,
I dont quite know why im posting this, i guess i just need to blow off some steam. Basically, I feel down all the time lately. I graduated from college there last autumn and I now work in a small practice as an engineer. Although i like the job, the thing is, the same routine every day is depressing me; i get up, go to work, come home watch tv, go to bed and wake up for work again the next day. Hard to believe after college i could feel so empty, trapped and unfulfilled. I dont see alot of my college friends these days either and I find myself pining for the laughs we had in college only a few months ago (I know that sounds pathetic). Ive got no real friends where i am now, and i feel desperately lonely. I hardly ever go out either, since most of the times i went out were with my class in college. I suppose what im asking here is has anyone else felt like this and how did u overcome it, because at the moment i keep asking myself 'is this all there is now to my life: am i just detined to be some sort of automoton who works day in day out living in a bubble? Sorry for my incoherant ramblings.

LegacyUser

I think you know yourself the anser to this one: yes, a period of lonliness is inevitable, but you have to get to know new people. Is there a MeetUP group in your area? Have you any interests you can get into? Get out, talk to people, and gradually a new life will build up.

Lux23

Well thats what working is like, its just the same day in, day out no matter what kind of job you have. As for making new friends, are you living alone or at home? If so I would move out into a house with a couple of lads like yourself and you will find you social circle getting bigger. Your social life is never really as mad as it can be in college as you won't have as much freedom but you will make new friends.

Plus maybe try and text or email a few friends from college and organise a night out with them, chances are they are feeling the same way.

LegacyUser

How long have you been working in the firm?

If what you are doing now isn't the way you want to live your life, start planning for a change. You know you don't have to be an engineer. A degree is a piece of paper that says "I can learn stuff". So have a look at other job possibilities if engineering isn't your mug o' scald.

I work in a medical device factory (you know the ones....) , my manager graduated from college with a degree in food science or something looney like that.

nmk

It's very common to feel like this after college, like Lux23 said, keep in touch with your college mates and try to move in with some other young lads, who'll more than likely be up for a laugh and beers like you. Also, have a look around to see if there are any hobbies or sports you're interested in taking up in your area. You said you moved to a small practise, is it in a city or smaller area? Potentially while you're a yfs-ton you might want to gravitate towards larger towns as there's more of a social life happening but smaller places are great craic too once you make friends there.

listermint

Travel. see the world before you reach the boring phase.

stepbar

Christ, I can identify with all this. It ain't uncommon. Working in a bigger company / city might help.

c - 13

Lets look at your routine -
Get up -- fine
Go to work -- fine
Come home watch tv -- heres your problem
go to bed -- fine
wake up for work again the next day -- fine

Why do you just go home and watch TV, are you expecting something exciting to just fall out of the sky and land in your lap ? Your the one making it boring for yourself in the evenings, get out there go places, meet people, make new friends, do things you want to do, make the weekends your own ... of course your going to be bored if you just come home watch TV and wait for the next day.

ruskin

OP, i agree with some of the previous posters. just because college ended doesnt mean that your friendships have to aswell. get in touch with a few friends.

Overheal

4 years of college - you dont know anyone you can call up and say 'how are you, life is boring as hell up here' ?

You'll more than likely find many of your friends in the same situation.

What works for my course is we launched a private message board 2 years ago where current students and allumni can keep in touch wherever they may be. It might not be too late to set one up - get in contact with some current pupils you may know, set that up, and contact your allumni buddies. Works great for us: share the craic, talk shop, etc.

If at the end of the day you're still alone go out and be someone. It wouldn't be a bad idea to hit the clubs and pubs - not for the pull - but to go mix it up with people at random, have a laugh and maybe pick up a contact or two. Some of the best characters are found in the pub, but you can literally find them anywhere.

AnonoBoy

Ok - in college your social life and your daily routine are one, if you will. Every day you're in lectures with, hanging around with, and living with, the same folk you spend your nights and weekends drinking with, hanging around with and sleeping with.

It's fun. I miss it too sometimes.

Unfortunately life has a nasty habit of never staying the same. You can't go back, you can only go on.

In the working world, your working day and your social life don't neccessarily intersect at all. So you gotta go out of your way to make plans with people. A weekend spent here, a pint after work there. Instead of plonking down and flicking through Sky Digital of an evening why not suggest going for a pint some evening with a work mate or checking out a film. Just someone you get on ok with, it's how you get to know them beter, away from the office environment.

If you have any even half-friends knocking about maybe now is the time to get to know them better.

Have a dinner party. If you're not a cook. Have a pizza and beer evening. Champions League will be on again soon. Why not invite a few people around and have a few cans while shouting at the overpaid gimps?

Weekends away are important too. But they take planning. Get in touch with some mates from college. Invite them to yours or go to wherever they are. Or get a few heads and all head off for the weekend somewhere to a gig or just on the lock for no real reason other than to catch up.

It'll get better. It always does.

Just don't spend all your free time in front of the TV.

the_syco

See if your college mates are on Bebo, and if they are, arrange for drinks.

noker

Syco is right.

Get in contact with your college friends through email or google them to see if you can find where they work. Went to a party with some of my college friends recently and was brilliant craic. This was inspite the fact I hadnt seen some of therm in 3 years.

Or get a hobbie. Sitting in front of TV every night would depress anyone.