Someone Please Help Me

LegacyUser

I am such an idiot! About 2 years ago I got chatting to a bloke online. We had so much in common that when he asked I gave him my phone number. We chatted on the phone every other week for 2 years and I thought I knew him. Eventually I gave him my address as well so that he could send me a book. It's been more than 2 years I suppose and every year I go on holiday to a music festival in Europe. He lives in America and has never been to Europe before, so this year decided to come with me. He planned to fly to London, meet me there and then we would fly to the festival together. We bought tickets already for the festival and we already have our tickets for the plane, we'll be on the same plane from London to the fest.

Anyway, once that was all organised I started to see a totally different side of him. He has now shown his true colours, he's extremely homophobic, intolerant of anyone who has a different lifestyle to him. Several of my male friends who are also coming on this holiday are transvestites and I know that he will probably get drunk (it turns out he is a huge drinker) and yell abuse at them, or worse. He has told me he would kill anyone a bit gay who comes near him. He also genuinely believes that God has chosen him to change the world. He also keeps insisting that I marry him, become his housewife and have lots of kids with him. (I would rather die!) He has also said many things now that are really scaring me.

Now, I don't want to go on holiday with him any more. I have told him to get a refund on his plane and festival ticket but what if he comes anyway? Since I told him I don't want him to come any more he has been acting all nice again but I know what he really thinks. Help! I just want a nice relaxing holiday with my friends!

JustLikeheaven

U could ring the guards n tell them that theres a stalker by the name of (whatever) coming on a plane. They could stop him! As for the fact that he knows ur address it depends on whether u could change that or not. My advice tell the guards.

Overheal

Wow. You hooked yourself an evangelist luv :eek: those creationists and their gay bashing ways. If you want to understand a little more about the breed go here:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055208758

I advise running. Not wanting to get too much into the religious aspect of things here: evangelicals trouble me to say the least.

speaktofrank

JustLikeheaven wrote: »

U could ring the guards n tell them that theres a stalker by the name of (whatever) coming on a plane. They could stop him! As for the fact that he knows ur address it depends on whether u could change that or not. My advice tell the guards.

And say what? Dumb advice. OP why not just tell him that his offensive comments annoyed you and tell him you are not interested in continuing the friendship. Not that hard.
If he does come anyway just ignore the phone calls. Next time be more careful, especially if they are going on about getting married having never even met you.

Overheal

Or introduce your trans friends as the next stage in human evolution.... ah the thought has me in tears

Seriously though - you told him about your friends right?

AARRRGH

If your post is for real (my troll radar is making noises) then whatever you do, do not go on the holiday with this guy. Send him a nice e-mail explaining the truth (your gay friends, you disliking his comments, you being worried, you not wanting to marry him, etc.)

I know it's not something people do much on personal issues, but it's called being a grown up and communicating.

I am kind of surprised it took you two years to learn all this stuff about him.

Is this the first time a guy you've been into has turned out to be a weirdo? If not, you need to double and triple check your weirdo filter.

Gemini Sister

dublindude wrote: »

If your post is for real (my troll radar is making noises) then whatever you do, do not go on the holiday with this guy. Send him a nice e-mail explaining the truth (your gay friends, you disliking his comments, you being worried, you not wanting to marry him, etc.)

I know it's not something people do much on personal issues, but it's called being a grown up and communicating.

I am kind of surprised it took you two years to learn all this stuff about him.

Is this the first time a guy you've been into has turned out to be a weirdo? If not, you need to double and triple check your weirdo filter.

+ 1
Especially about the communicating bit.
Alternatively, do all that, tell him about your tanny mates and tell him if he can deal with that and carry himself well, thats cool. Could be an educational trip for him. But set him straight about the marriage stuff.

AARRRGH

He could also just have been talking ****e. It wouldn't be the first time an insecure guy has said he hates gays!

Definitely talk to him and see what the story is...

Overheal

Oh if only youd ever met an evangelist, dublindude...

seriously, they dont make this **** up. Well, they do, but thats another matter.

dirtydress

How could you be talking to him for over 2 years and not realise this about him? Surely you would have mentioned your friends?
Wild inconsistancies aside....since im assuming you havent met each other, just go anyway and hope he doesnt notice you...but definitely keep your friends very close to you in case he does try anything.

AngryBadger

dirtydress wrote: »

How could you be talking to him for over 2 years and not realise this about him?

+1

Overheal

Yeah 2 years.... how does religion and politics not come up, tbh

Gordon

dublindude wrote: »

I know it's not something people do much on personal issues, but it's called being a grown up and communicating.

Now now!

Oryx

Im another one who cant understand how coincidental to your finally meeting him, you suddenly realise hes a homophobic bigot? Very odd.

Get him on the phone, explain your worries, and tell him plainly thats why you dont want him to come. Especially, leave him under no illusions about you being 'the one' marraige and kids. If he goes psycho on you, well you know where you are with him, if hes ok with you, then trust him when he says hes not coming on holiday.*

*If he is a nutjob, either on the phone or turning up, thats something you deal with as and when it happens. No point worrying until its a real issue. Just make sure on your trip that your friends are aware you could have a problem, and know the local emergency numbers.