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Help me out

  • 17-01-2008 12:39pm
    #1
    nixion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21 ✭


    i have this feeling that marriage is an important part to every human being in this planet, but i think there is a problem with me.
    whenever i get into a relationship with a woman i get bored the first week even without having sex with them. this has happened to three ladies so far. i dont know what is wrong with me.
    and yet marriage is a life long commitment. will i really manage?.


Comments

  • #2
    specialdayz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭specialdayz


    You need to relax. There is somebody for everybody. My guess is that you are too preoccupied with finding someone that you find yourself with the wrong person. Relax and be yourself.


  • #3
    AARRRGH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    What age are you?


  • #4
    cookiequeen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 114 ✭✭cookiequeen


    listen to specialdayz and relax. you still haven't met the right one!!!


  • #5
    iguana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,917 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    OP you may get a bigger response in the Personal Issues forum. Let me know if you would like it moved there.


  • #6
    Gillo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,566 ✭✭✭Gillo


    iguana wrote: »
    OP you may get a bigger response in the Personal Issues forum. Let me know if you would like it moved there.

    I was going to suggest the same thing, only I can't move the thread. Now I feel so inadequate and useless, I'm going to have to start my own thread over there.

    Take your time OP, it's just a case of finding someone right, chances are the harder you look the less you'll find.


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  • #7
    nixion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21 ✭nixion


    well i dont mind you guys moving it on the issues forum, my only concern is me getting help


  • #8
    iguana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,917 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    Moved to PI.


  • #9
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    nixion wrote: »
    i have this feeling that marriage is an important part to every human being in this planet, but i think there is a problem with me.
    whenever i get into a relationship with a woman i get bored the first week even without having sex with them. this has happened to three ladies so far. i dont know what is wrong with me.
    and yet marriage is a life long commitment. will i really manage?.

    Thinking way, way too far ahead. Live in the moment.


  • #10
    estar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 801 ✭✭✭estar


    do you have friends that you have stayed friends with
    over a long time period and not gottne bored with

    its similiar.

    in a long term relationship you shouldnt spend 24/7 with someone
    or you will prob get sick of them

    but since you will spend 9-5 in work, time in gym, hobbies
    you wont see them all the time and the time you do spend with
    them you will look forward to


  • #11
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    nixion wrote: »
    whenever i get into a relationship with a woman i get bored the first week even without having sex with them. this has happened to three ladies so far. i dont know what is wrong with me.

    I donot think you should be looking at the marriage question until you work out why you get bored with them.

    What exactly OP gets you bored with somenoe within the first week? Though one cannot exactly call the first week a "relationship".


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  • #12
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Fear of Commitment switches you off perhaps? the very fact that you are still talking to eachother after the first encounter begets a relationship, which begets some semblance of committment..... (?)


  • #13
    Lurvely
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭Lurvely


    I think your thinking too far ahead, dont worry about it now...when you meet the right woman its different, youll click with her..dont worry about these ones that you obviously arent clicking with, whetehr having sex with them or not.


  • #14
    Talliesin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    nixion wrote: »
    i have this feeling that marriage is an important part to every human being in this planet
    And not a single one of the people who've lived productive, happy lives without marrying work as a counter-example to this for you? Why?
    nixion wrote: »
    whenever i get into a relationship with a woman i get bored the first week even without having sex with them.
    That's not a relationship
    nixion wrote: »
    this has happened to three ladies so far.
    So you've very briefly dated three women.

    This is so far from not telling you anything as to not be worth mentioning.
    nixion wrote: »
    i dont know what is wrong with me.
    Either what's wrong with you is that you expect to somehow form deeply meaningful relationships with just about anyone, or that you've a deeply artificial view of marriage as important in and of itself without much regard to who you are marrying. Probably both.
    nixion wrote: »
    and yet marriage is a life long commitment.
    You seem to be making this life-long commitment to a hypothetical person.
    nixion wrote: »
    will i really manage?.
    Why do you even expect to.

    There are cultures where arranged marriages happen and they actually tend to work very well a lot of the time, though disastrously other times.

    There are cultures where marriage is a decision that is made in the course of a relationship and they actually tend to work very well a lot of the time, though disastrously other times.

    There are people in a position where they have strong enough connections to two or more cultures with differing views on betrothal and who then are in a position to choose between the advantages and disadvantages of these two (along with personal matters as to which culture they feel closer to, parental expectation and so on).

    You seem to have manage to somehow found yourself dealing with a very strange combination of some features of arranged marriage (because you've apparently got this marriage due to happen at some point in your life) and of arrived-at marriage (because you don't have a fiancée arranged for you) and I'm at a loss as to how you came to this.


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