Want to make her feel special.....

LegacyUser

hi all

i'll keep this short, going out with my GF nearly 4 years, she is my best friend, always know's what im thinking, the kindest, prettiest girl you will ever meet. basically im mad about her. only problem is, im not the best person in the world for conveying how i feel, not exactly mr romantic. she is a girl who wants to be made feel special and be made feel appreciated yet i always seem to either not do anything (cause im not sure what to do) or when i try to do something, i end up asking her questions cause i wanna get it right and the whole romantic gesture is lost....i wanna do something to suprise her, make her feel special etc, just wondering has anyone any suggestions or comments? this is probably a common issue for fellas with their GF's but any help/ideas would be great?

money is a bit tight at the moment but its not like she even wants anything extravagant, she just wants to know i actually care about her/think about her and not just about myself

if you care about her shouldnt you know by now what makes her feel special? does it not say something to you that you've to ask strangers?
what does she love doing to chill out? bubble baths? does she like going to a particular restaurant? any of these kind of things?

Cathmandooo

Best thing to do...listen to her. Listen when she says that she loves something or would love to do something and act on that. It wouldn't necessarily be hints that she's dropping!

If you cant come up with anything from that then maybe cook her her favourite meal (again listening is needed to know what this is), get a nice bottle of wine, light some candles, pick out a few dvds that you think she'd like and let her choose from them, have the place clean and treat her to a romantic evening in. Maybe run her a bath that she can soak in while you're cooking and setting up the candles etc. She'll feel nicely pampered and special!

milli

Maybe you could start off with cooking her dinner some night and make it romantic by having flowers and candles out for her?!
Do you live together?

biko

Occasionally send her a text and get her flowers for no reason.

Agree to see a chick flick.
Rotate the tyres on her car.
Ask her friends over for a surprise dinner/party.

smurfbaby

OP

All the other suggestions here seem fairly good. It doesn't cost much to make her favourite dinner and get a bottle of wine, or for you to surprise her with tickets to a film she wants to see. There are also nights out that shouldn't cost a fortune-like going to a restaurant for an early bird, getting tickets to a comedy club etc. Only you will know what she likes.

But there are also ways you can let her know your thinking of her in every day situations. For example, my boyfriend sometimes buys my favourite chocolate bar and sneaks it into my handbag at night so I find it in work the next day! And as others said, sending her a nice text every now and again lets her know you're thinking about her.

LegacyUser

Do you live together?[/QUOTE]

This is one of the problems, we are not living together, currently looking to get a place but at present we both live at home. So therefore we are always having to plan things because we dont live close to each other. Constantly planning = takes away the romantic aspect of suprising her. Im also not the best cook, id love to be able to cook her a nice meal but i dunno where to start.

WildIrishRose

I really like this idea ''There are also nights out that shouldn't cost a fortune-like going to a restaurant for an early bird, getting tickets to a comedy club etc''

If you do decide to make her a meal and it doesn't work out as planned i think she will apprieciate you attempt to do something nice for her.

Fair play to you all the same,

She's a lucky lady!:)

Blackpitts

send her flowers at home, burn a cd with all the songs you both like, take the first 2 lines of your message here above and attach them into a card, take her to cinema and watch "ps i love you".

Crazy Catlady

Don't say " I was going to do x, y, z but i didn't cos...." cos that sucks. Do it or don't do it. But never tell her what you were going to do and didn't, cos it just looks like you couldn't be arsed.
Personally I'm all about the little things.
Flowers for no reasons. A text that says you make me smile or I love you, out of the blue.
Time on your own, holding hands or snogging going for a walk or something.
This is turning into my wish list

Blackpitts

Blackpitts wrote: »

send her flowers at home, burn a cd with all the songs you both like, take the first 2 lines of your message here above and attach them into a card, take her to cinema and watch "ps i love you".

erk
taking her to a rubbish movie isnt romantic
and you dont even know if she would personally like it

Overheal

Tell her the good things about her. If youve been thinking to herself you think its cute when she does x then stop keeping it to yourself and say so, for example.

vorbis

um, just go do something that you both like. Going for dinner, to a comedy club, cinema, play are activities most people like. Beyond that, I wouldn't get too worked up. I personally think this idea of "make her feel special" is a bad road to head down. Do nice things for your gf but not because you need to make her feel special. She should be doing nice things for you as well.

FakeRedHead

Bring her a Cadbury's Creme Egg (or better yet, the three in a box).

They're just out again and most of us girls are mad for them.

slemons

Whenever she does something that you really like, then just tell her straight out.

Dont under any circumstances, just tell her she's cool or whatever, without her doing something. She just will not take it as a compliment. That is an absolutely golden rule.

Also give her the oppurtunity to do/say something you like. Direct conversations in certain ways, so they go to certain subjects etc

NextSteps

Flowers and little presents go a long way, or maybe offer to do some chore with her

LegacyUser

Think of five things she did that were kind/considerate to you, or that you liked about her. For example, when she made you breakfast. Or you noticed she was pretty that time on Tuesday when she wore her hair up. You didn't say anything, but you noticed.

Then put it in a love letter, and give it to her. She'll have heard your private thoughts about her and it will be for her and her only.

Gyalist

Give her as many earth-shattering orgasms as she can take. She will not forget you for the rest of her life.

kizzyr

Silly and all as this may sound to some people one of my most favorite presents I have ever gotten from my boyfriend was the cd single Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. We were only going out a little while and were going to the Robbie Williams concert in Slane, as we were walking into the Castle grounds that song was playing and I said as a by the way, "oh I love that song". The next time we were going out when he picked me up he gave me the cd. It meant so much because although it was cheap it was thoughtful and showed me that he actually listened to me.
So OP I'd go along with the other FMs who've suggested cooking her favorite dinner as one thing you could do. Most parents would be willing to clear out for the evening if you asked them nicely and explained why you were asking them to. You could buy her a dvd you know she'd really like, a book, have a nice lunch or dinner at her favorite restaurant. Being nice and thoughtful and romantic doesn't have to cost a lot of money.

kizzyr

noimagination08 wrote: »

Do you live together?

This is one of the problems, we are not living together, currently looking to get a place but at present we both live at home. So therefore we are always having to plan things because we dont live close to each other. Constantly planning = takes away the romantic aspect of suprising her. Im also not the best cook, id love to be able to cook her a nice meal but i dunno where to start.[/QUOTE]
You don't have to be a great cook to make a nice dinner. If she is a girl that likes food (and doesn't pretend otherwise) steak and oven chips and a side salad would be very easy to make. If you're very worried about your cooking practice a bit before hand until you're happy with the results.

Blackpitts

bluewolf wrote: »

erk
taking her to a rubbish movie isnt romantic
and you dont even know if she would personally like it

it was just a suggestion...
and how do u know if his gf hates this kind of movies? maybe she loves it

FakeRedHead

Blackpitts wrote: »

it was just a suggestion...
and how do u know if his gf hates this kind of movies? maybe she loves it

True.

My husband lets me pick the movie every time .
It does make me feel that he must like me.

SarahSassy

bluewolf wrote: »

if you care about her shouldnt you know by now what makes her feel special? does it not say something to you that you've to ask strangers?

That makes no sense.....

Plan a day with her from the breakfast through to dinner. It doesnt have to be expensive. Tell her to meet you at x place, have decided where you are going for breakfast. Then, dunno where you are based, but maybe go for a walk in Trinity College/ Dun Laoghaire/ Howth, jump on the tourist bus, have lunch planned, have an afternoon movie booked and a place for dinner and drink. For me the effort is more priceless than any €€€€€'s spent.

Deadevil129

For God's sake Op, you don't have to be a wonderful cook to make her dinner. I'm a bit like you, never really know what to do to just to let the bf know I care. I made him dinner a few weeks ago, rather than just making something out of a jar, I made it completely from scratch, it took a hell of a lot of effort and turned out pretty average, if a little dry. Now I'm no chef, putting a pizza in the oven is about the extent of my culinary skills, and my bf knows this so he was pretty touched I went to all that effort for him, and we enjoyed the evening just as much as if we'd have gone out to some expensive resteraunt neither of us can really afford. Bear in mind that I don't live with my other half either, I just waited untill the parents were out one night so I could have the kitchen to myself.

Daithio

Blackpitts wrote: »

send her flowers at home, burn a cd with all the songs you both like, take the first 2 lines of your message here above and attach them into a card, take her to cinema and watch "ps i love you".

That's the best suggestion so far IMO.

NextSteps

kizzyr wrote: »

You don't have to be a great cook to make a nice dinner. If she is a girl that likes food (and doesn't pretend otherwise) steak and oven chips and a side salad would be very easy to make. If you're very worried about your cooking practice a bit before hand until you're happy with the results.

I agree. One of the sweetest things my boyfriend did for me, when we had just started going out, was to make me dinner. He had wine, salad, canneloni, garlic bread, atmospheric candles, the whole shebang - it was only when the pasta was still frozen in the middle that he admitted it was all Marks and Spencers! I couldn't have cared less.

Popsicle

SarahSassy wrote: »

That makes no sense.....

Plan a day with her from the breakfast through to dinner. It doesnt have to be expensive. Tell her to meet you at x place, have decided where you are going for breakfast. Then, dunno where you are based, but maybe go for a walk in Trinity College/ Dun Laoghaire/ Howth, jump on the tourist bus, have lunch planned, have an afternoon movie booked and a place for dinner and drink. For me the effort is more priceless than any €€€€€'s spent.

From a gals point of view, I would go for something like this! Just be nice for a day!Doesn't have to cost anything!!!!

MagicMarker

If you think she looks beautiful, then TELL HER! For instance, I always think my gf looks beautiful, but instead of thinking it to myself, i try and tell her. It's not easy, but it gets easier.

When you get some money, do something spontaneous, bring her out, but instead of doing the normal stuff like dinner or a movie, bring her to a dancing lesson or something crazy like that. Bit o' dirty dancing never hurt anyone.

dirtydress

Crazy Catlady wrote: »

Don't say " I was going to do x, y, z but i didn't cos...." cos that sucks. Do it or don't do it. But never tell her what you were going to do and didn't, cos it just looks like you couldn't be arsed.
Personally I'm all about the little things.
Flowers for no reasons. A text that says you make me smile or I love you, out of the blue.
Time on your own, holding hands or snogging going for a walk or something.
This is turning into my wish list

This is the best reply so far. I cant tell you how many bfs have said "I was going to do this but (insert various reason)", initially it makes you think "aww thats so sweet" but as you go on you think "damn, i wish he HAD done that" or "why hasnt he planned something else?" in this case it's NOT the thought that counts, unless you have an alternative planned or you're someone who does things more than once in a blue moon.

Im definitely on board for things like flowers for no reason...or even for a reason! Just to say "I love you" etc. I suppose it does depend on the girl but you say she is someone who likes to be made feel special so im sure she would appreciate little romantic gestures. They dont take much but they make all the difference I promise.

Talliesin

There's always something about doing two small things.

Doing a small nice thing like cooking/buying a meal, a small present, flowers, etc. is sort of "just nice" - you're sort of expected to do that for your partner, and you sort of expect that they will do so for you on occassion too.

Doing two small things at the same time though conveys the impression that you aren't doing this because it has occured to you that you haven't done anything like that in a while and you'd better make some semblence of an effort, but because you actually have the sort of feelings for them that makes you enjoy doing such little things. Of course, it's easier to convey that if it's actually the case, rather than faking it.

So, dinner and a present, or flowers and taking her out, or any other two things.

Having something you do regularly also helps. Again, more so if you aren't faking it, but actually enjoy it.