Can anyone advice me on my personal dilemma.

mofa

I’m at a crossroads at the moment, as I have to make a decision on two Job opportunities to work abroad. One is close to home in Italy and the other is in America. The closer to home job would make me happy but it has little opportunity and money would be tight. The second job would offer me opportunity and I would have enough money to live on and extra but unsure about going back to America again. My dilemma in making my decision is: a daughter in college which she will be finishing this year and a cat. She, my daughter is independent but I worry that she will struggle with accommodation expenses, everyday living expenses, going out as I feel young people now days face worse situations than when I was growing up. I worry that she will get sick and that im not there to take care of her. She has been offered some work briefly through the university and will take a year out to save money her final degree in England (which I can help her with as I will be making better money in America rather than here in Ireland or Italy). She will properly be very busy and won’t be able to take care of the cat while I go away for the year. (That bothers me as I love my cat also and it’s impossible to take the cat with me to America). Who will take care of the cat? I want to do this for many reasons, one being money and the other to achieve my goals but I seemed to be having a major problem of deciding and guilt. I am a single parent and always have done the best for my daughter. What do you think I should do as I feel life passing me by and I want to do a few things towards my goals? HELP!!! I have a few 6 Months before I leave.
Thanks.

Oryx

What age is your daughter. Is she living with you, and will she continue to live where you are now?

I know you love your cat, but you would be able to have it rehomed. Try the ISPCA as a starting point. You never know you may find a situation where you can have her back in a year. Kennelling is an option but really expensive.

I cant make your choices for you, but there dont seem to be insurmountable obstacles in your way whatever choice you make. Id say go with your gut feeling and what your heart wants, and once youve made a decision, dealing with the actual details of a move will be easier. And dont feel guilty, we all have to live our own lives first. Your daughter will as well.

RedPlanet

Go for Italy.
America is a bit of a hell hole isn't it?
Besides, with Italy you can take your cat with you. (as long as you drive to get there, insofar as i know)

craichoe

RedPlanet wrote: »

Go for Italy.
America is a bit of a hell hole isn't it?
Besides, with Italy you can take your cat with you. (as long as you drive to get there, insofar as i know)

You can bring it on a plane too. Needs a pet passport and all its shots though.
AFAIK theres no problem bringing an animal to the US (as long as you have the paperwork) Its bringing animals INTO Ireland is the problem, theres a few weeks of quarantine to go through.

thegoose

I had a similar decision to make not so long ago... I realised that life is about People, Places and Things, in that order. Maybe not for everyone but it was for me. That helped me approach the problem.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

Beruthiel

thegoose wrote: »

People, Places and Things, in that order.

Couldn't agree more.

mofa
Where would you prefer to live?

Personally, I wouldn't need to think for a nano second. Italy is a wonderful, beautiful country, rich in history, food, restaurants and people. If I had the opportunity to go there, I'd be gone in a flash. I love the country.
It's not always about the money (though that helps). I believe as long as you have enough to keep a roof over your head and you're happy, that's all you really need in life.

I think you would also feel nearer to your daughter if she needs you.

mofa

Beruthiel wrote: »

Couldn't agree more.

mofa
Where would you prefer to live?

Personally, I wouldn't need to think for a nano second. Italy is a wonderful, beautiful country, rich in history, food, restaurants and people. If I had the opportunity to go there, I'd be gone in a flash. I love the country.
It's not always about the money (though that helps). I believe as long as you have enough to keep a roof over your head and you're happy, that's all you really need in life.

I think you would also feel nearer to your daughter if she needs you.

hi there lost my last reply to you... I would preper to live in Italy of course as it would be easier for my daughter and cat situation. The problem is the money is less than half in what I make here. I need to have extra money to help my daughter for her degree next year in London. If I go to america the job offer has more money, I would work for my brother and his offer is very good. This would be better overall. I also would have the opportunity to work with a writers group which would help me towards my writing. But being so far away is the problem there.

mofa

thanks


What age is your daughter. Is she living with you, and will she continue to live where you are now?

I know you love your cat, but you would be able to have it rehomed. Try the ISPCA as a starting point. You never know you may find a situation where you can have her back in a year. Kennelling is an option but really expensive.

I cant make your choices for you, but there dont seem to be insurmountable obstacles in your way whatever choice you make. Id say go with your gut feeling and what your heart wants, and once youve made a decision, dealing with the actual details of a move will be easier. And dont feel guilty, we all have to live our own lives first. Your daughter will as well.[/QUOTE]

mofa

mofa wrote: »

thanks


What age is your daughter. Is she living with you, and will she continue to live where you are now?

I know you love your cat, but you would be able to have it rehomed. Try the ISPCA as a starting point. You never know you may find a situation where you can have her back in a year. Kennelling is an option but really expensive.

I cant make your choices for you, but there dont seem to be insurmountable obstacles in your way whatever choice you make. Id say go with your gut feeling and what your heart wants, and once youve made a decision, dealing with the actual details of a move will be easier. And dont feel guilty, we all have to live our own lives first. Your daughter will as well.

[/QUOTE]
Hi thanks , my daughter is living with me but she would have find accomodation as her job would not be here in galway. I love my cat and I think once I have a fair idea what im going to do I will set down with my daughter again and discuss what should we do. Thanks for your advice

humanji

As was said above: people, places, things. But I think that going to the US provides better in these aspects in the long run. Your daughter will have to fend for herself one day and it's not like you're abandoning her. She'll enjoy her independence (who wouldn't ), plus with the extra money, you'll be able to help her with her college.

You'll also be with the writers group, so it'll help with your own goals, which is important also. And you're not even that far away. It's easy to get a flight back and forth. It's a bit more expensive (but not overly) and it's a bit of a longer flight, but sure that's nothing in this day and age.

As said above, your cat isn't really an issue, since it can be brought over, so in the end, you should do what makes you happy. It's not the easiest choice, but whatever you choose, it's not the end of the world.

Overheal

I dont understand why you cant take the Cat to america. Have you even checked? You can of course travel with an animal on an international flight as far as i know: they need to be stowed in the heated luggage compartment then they're fine.

As for your daughter the money for her is a toughie. You say you make more money in the USA opportunity but are you accounting for the failing exchange rate? I have parents in the USA that make very comfortable salaries but because of exchange everything they send me amounts to 2/3 of what it should. Saying that though the money is still probably pretty good in the states.

the_syco

It's late, and thus this will seem confused, so bear with me. With dogs, there is some program that you can get a dog checked, certified, so when you goto the States, the dog can go with you. There was a post about this a few moths before xmas on the animal forum, so dig it up. You may be able to get the same for the cat.

How the f**k is Italy closer? US: one flight, Italy, one flight. Also, if money is tight (Italy), the airline journey won't be as easy to afford?

mofa

hi syco Italy meaning that its closer as in Europe....... its seems you are confused.

craichoe

the_syco wrote: »

It's late, and thus this will seem confused, so bear with me. With dogs, there is some program that you can get a dog checked, certified, so when you goto the States, the dog can go with you. There was a post about this a few moths before xmas on the animal forum, so dig it up. You may be able to get the same for the cat.

How the f**k is Italy closer? US: one flight, Italy, one flight. Also, if money is tight (Italy), the airline journey won't be as easy to afford?

Yeh ... thats like Saying Poland via Italy is one flight .. its a big country ffs.

If your worried about paying for college in the UK next year, remember the Dollar is bombing and the Euro is quite strong .. so check that out too.

Personally i think the states is a hole. Although italy isnt great either, looks nice though.

mofa

craichoe wrote: »

Yeh ... thats like Saying Poland via Italy is one flight .. its a big country ffs.

If your worried about paying for college in the UK next year, remember the Dollar is bombing and the Euro is quite strong .. so check that out too.

Personally i think the states is a hole. Although italy isnt great either, looks nice though.

ok thanks for your advice, I know all about the money exchange and I know both countries are not the greatest but I will have too choose one and I hope its the right one!! I have friends living in Italy and most of my family in America. So for me either choice but with the thoughts of my daughter and cat. I know it sounds crazy but for me the decision has to be the right one. Thanks

sodrisc

Just wondering how long it's been since you lived in Italy...I think that you would find the situation fairly hard going there if you've been in Ireland for a good few years. I have a place there and a place in Ireland and while Italy is beautiful and has plenty of plus points, there is no way that I'd live there full time - the economy is at crisis point, there are frequent strikes, the cost of living is equivalent to Ireland (once everything is taken into account - taxes, utility bills, petrol, grocery shopping etc.) but the wages are approximately half what they'd be here or in the States. It's highly unlikely you'd be able to give your daughter much financial help unless you're in a very good job.

I'd say go to the States, you could always try to build up a nest egg and move back to Italy in a few years time when you're in a better financial position. If you're in the States, you'll be able to afford to visit your daughter in England/friends in Italy, if you go to work in Italy you'll be stuck there...