Pee Shy!

LegacyUser

The title says it all. I have pee shyness - im at the level of mild inconvenience rather then anything too serious but I'd like to get over it.

Basically I can not use a urinal if anyone else is in the bathroom, or even if I think someones coming in.

I can use one if im somewhere fairly quiet and theres no-one in there and I feel sure no is about to walk in either.

If someone walks in and things are already flowing, then thats fine to - I dont suddenly freeze or anything.

I have no trouble ever using a cubicle so things arent that bad, thank god.

For instance if Im in a busy pub and the bathroom is jammed you feel silly queuing for the cubicle when everyone else seems to be able to wander in a pee freely! However its irrational - its no good saying to yourself "Go over there, its just a wee ur having!"

Lately i find i drink less pints now (not a bad thing maybe) just to avoid going to the bathroom as much.

This description from a site pretty much nails the problem
"people who suffer from paruresis, the body senses the public restroom as an unsafe place. Adrenaline starts pumping as it would in a "fight or flight" situation. The result is that the part of the body that controls urination (the parasympathetic nervous system) is temporarily inhibited or suppressed."

Its only this evening I read that but I do seem to get a jolt of adrenaline - its pretty much what I experience.

Just wondering is there any other sufferers out there and did anyone "train" themselves to get over it - how did you do it?

TouchingVirus

I just deal with it. When there's others going like right beside me it takes maybe 10 seconds to get going but I don't think I'll be at the point where I cant. I've an uncanny ability to hold my urine in. I can do maybe 6 or 7 pints without breaking the seal so when I have to go, I really have to go.

Wibbs

Meh, had that myself to some extent for a good while. Wouldnt worry too much. It's very common.

Bob in Belfast

TouchingVirus wrote: »

I just deal with it. When there's others going like right beside me it takes maybe 10 seconds to get going but I don't think I'll be at the point where I cant. I've an uncanny ability to hold my urine in. I can do maybe 6 or 7 pints without breaking the seal so when I have to go, I really have to go.

Good advice
Usually what i do is look at the guy that's standing beside me and then stare at his penis, 9 times out off 10 my penis is much larger.

That helps me relax and then i can p*ss freely

LegacyUser

I hated doing that for ages, so I guess you're not alone.
Then I started doing it when I was drunk, because it was easier not to have to wait for a cubicle. It got easier and easier, and eventually went away.

Having said that, I'll usually use a cubicle if the alternative is to stand right next to someone.

Overheal

It's very common. I just deal: needing to queue for a cubicle doesnt bother me to be fair.

Dave!

Yeah I get stage fright too... Sometimes it just flows, other times I just give up lol. Sometimes I'll be over a minute trying to get started! Eventually it's grand though Try reading the signs/ads on the wall if it helps keep your mind off the environment.

Creamy Goodness

when i'm drunk i don't get it, but when i'm stone cold sober it happens. doesn't really bother me as such as usually if i sober it's at the start of the night so not many people are in the cubicles.

LegacyUser

this silly little issue can make life quite difficult it curtails my life slightly would one of you be able to tell me the medical name for it more importantly whats the solution

pisslips

it's funny, I do get stage fright rarely(usually when one of my mates pissin' beside me says, ''don't get stagefright'') but I just stand there for 2 minutes if I have to, even though it's embarrasing because if you start shying out of things in life, it's twice as hard to face up to them again.

Hell I've had sword fights with lads in the shower before and I still get stage fright.

Mickah

I have a mate who has permanent stage fright, so anytime he's going for a piss and I happen to be there, I always stand right next to him. He then curses at me under his breath zips up and heads for a cubicle! Haha.

I get stage fright too, usually when I think "oh crap I hope I don't get stage fright".

Like DaveMcG says read the signs/adverts. Don't try an force it, you'll only make it worse, it'll come when you stop thinking about it.

legoman

TouchingVirus wrote: »

I just deal with it. When there's others going like right beside me it takes maybe 10 seconds to get going but I don't think I'll be at the point where I cant. I've an uncanny ability to hold my urine in. I can do maybe 6 or 7 pints without breaking the seal so when I have to go, I really have to go.

I've heard its quite bad to hold you pee especially when drinking alcohol. The alcohol causes anesthesia so you don't feel the pain of an extremely full bladder. This can lead to a ruptured bladder.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7085763.stm

DonJose

Bob in Belfast wrote: »

Good advice
Usually what i do is look at the guy that's standing beside me and then stare at his penis, 9 times out off 10 my penis is much larger.

That helps me relax and then i can p*ss freely

staring at other guys penis makes you relax :eek:

randylonghorn

Yep, 'tis far from uncommon. I'm grand if I have a few drinks in, but if I'm sober and the place is busy I haven't a hope ... just have to wait for a cubicle. And god knows I am far from shy in other ways ... when you share a 3 bedroom house with 5 other lads all through college you don't tend to be self-conscious about much!

The one thing I can tell you is the more you think about it, the more it will happen ...

Esel

Don't mind anyone using a cubicle for a pee, but I fcking hate it when they don't bother lifting the seat!

LegacyUser

Im a cubicle user also, it can be annoying having to queue, but its better than standing at a urinal not being able to pee. Even if im drunk i dont feel comfortable using them.

milod

Bob in Belfast wrote: »

Good advice
Usually what i do is look at the guy that's standing beside me and then stare at his penis, 9 times out off 10 my penis is much larger.

That helps me relax and then i can p*ss freely

Erm, two things here!

1. As a perfectly average guy, I'm only going to be bigger than the next guy 5 times out of 10, so...

2. Unless you're in the George/Dragon/Front Lounge, I'd be very careful about relaxing with an eyeful of dick... others may not appreciate your glance in that direction.

@OP - I sympathise - as an occasional sufferer I dread the crowded pissoir - I'm reasonably ok with separated bowls, especially with those little divider things, but rubbing shoulders at a trough completely dries it up...

The absolute worst thing is thinking too much about it - focus intently on some little detail (pattern, blemish, tiling grout, whatever...) on the wall ahead of you and do your best to think only of that and tell yourself you'll wait til the flow starts...

tbh

peeshy also wrote: »

this silly little issue can make life quite difficult it curtails my life slightly would one of you be able to tell me the medical name for it more importantly whats the solution

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/menshealth/facts/paruresis.htm

Fabio

Used to happen me a little....not as bad as you say it OP but a little. It seemed to go away by itself....it's fine now!

derek27

It is something that you would get used to quite quickly if you just force yourself to do it. I personally prefer a cubicle to a urinal since that's what I'm accustomed to using at home, not to mention i prefer not to have my p!ss (or anyone else's for that matter) splash all over my hands and clothes - which is what you get from using a urinal.

Overheal

DonJose wrote: »

staring at other guys penis makes you relax :eek:

if that was a gay joke :rolleyes: wouldn't a gay man become aroused and be unable to pee anyway?

the true test of male heterosexuality if you ask me

star-pants

Hey Op - from a girls point of view - I'm the same, if I think someone might be listening.
It's silly but sometimes I try to ignore other ppl by closing my eyes - it's probably different for people and maybe girls too but i find if you trace gentle circles on the palm of one hand it can help you go. I hate being under pressure cuz I'll freeze - even midflow - which is most irritating. I'm getting better because I just try and block others out.
It happens in my own house sometimes, if someone is talking to me etc.

Maybe try going at home when someones talking to you or something - get yourself used to noise. I know it must be very different as a boy cuz you're out in the open with others. But maybe give that a go.

popecatapetal

I'm a girl too, and I used to have this. I was never able to pee if there was someone within earshot. Even at school, when everyone was in class and there was no one in the toilets, I still wasn't able to go. I was worried that people in nearby classrooms would be able to hear me...
The first time I stayed at my boyfriend's house for a weekend, I got a urinary tract infection, just from holding it in for so long!
But I just kept reminding myself that everybody pees, that no one listens, and that it's all perfectly normal. These days, it just doesn't affect me anymore.
Now if only I could do the same thing for pooping...

LegacyUser

Firstly its good to know theres others out there! Not that its good for you but its a little "relieving" (ha ha! little in joke for the sufferers..)

Seriously though I almost "cured" myself last year but some how I lapsed back into my old ways.

Firstly there was a toilet at work thats quieter then the main toilets. Id force myself to always use the single urinal there - thats why it was easier - it has two cubicles and just a single urinal - its almost like a cubicle with no door. After while I could use this more less ok - then quiet pubs in town, I used to pick quieter pubs to try and get used to a urinal - there was a brief period I could wander in and go - but somehow I lost the good run and relapsed back totally to the bad old ways and I can't do it again.

Maybe theres no easy cure as such and ill just have to go though this all again and hopefully this time keep at it again.

I guess I was seeing is there an easy method to get over it but this is just going to take work again.

Can't put my finger on why I relapsed either

Definitely what all the sites say is true - thinking about it is the disaster - if you think at all - ur screwed...

tbh

I worked in tokyo, and the toilets had buttons you could push to make noises - birdsong and running water were my two favourites

pisslips

Pee Shy! wrote: »

Firstly its good to know theres others out there! Not that its good for you but its a little "relieving" (ha ha! little in joke for the sufferers..)

Seriously though I almost "cured" myself last year but some how I lapsed back into my old ways.

Firstly there was a toilet at work thats quieter then the main toilets. Id force myself to always use the single urinal there - thats why it was easier - it has two cubicles and just a single urinal - its almost like a cubicle with no door. After while I could use this more less ok - then quiet pubs in town, I used to pick quieter pubs to try and get used to a urinal - there was a brief period I could wander in and go - but somehow I lost the good run and relapsed back totally to the bad old ways and I can't do it again.

Maybe theres no easy cure as such and ill just have to go though this all again and hopefully this time keep at it again.

I guess I was seeing is there an easy method to get over it but this is just going to take work again.

Can't put my finger on why I relapsed either

Definitely what all the sites say is true - thinking about it is the disaster - if you think at all - ur screwed...

Just like brewers droop, any hope you had is gone now that you thought about it.

rsynnott

milod wrote: »

2. Unless you're in the George/Dragon/Front Lounge, I'd be very careful about relaxing with an eyeful of dick... others may not appreciate your glance in that direction.

Actually, even if you ARE in a gay bar, don't do that; it's bloody rude, and generally mostly the habit of fat scary old men.

*is scared of fat old men in the toilet in the George...*