Grilfriend - Travel

Sony · 13-01-2008 1:03pm #1

Put simply my problem is that I want to go travelling for a year with my friends who are going this Summer. How do I approach this with my girlfriend of a year and a half - I really really want to go and missed out last year when my other friends headed off. She cannot leave her job for 3 years so bringing her is out of the question.

It's torture thinking about it - Will I marry this girl ? I don't know - I'm thinking maybe not but we are in a very serious relationship all the same.

Is it acceptable me thinking about this , What do you reckon my options are - it will inevitably break her heart for me to say I'm going off?

Thank you guys

Quackles · 13-01-2008 1:12pm

Talk to her. Involve her in the decision making process. I've known others who weren't even together that long who pulled it off - she went for her year away, he took a month in the middle and flew out for a holiday, they're still going strong.

padser · 13-01-2008 1:13pm

I think you already know what your going to do. Procrastinating is not going to make it any easier. Just get it over with.

py2006 · 13-01-2008 1:21pm

Well there is no doubt in your mind that you are going. Your not even questioning it on any level including the fact that you will be leaving your girlfriend behind.

Let her know your thoughts ASAP. I don't know how I would take it myself personally if a girlfriend told me she was going away for a year! Thats a long time. Chances are you or her will meet somebody in between.

Anyway, let her know now!

annemarie13 · 13-01-2008 1:27pm

just sit down with her and explain, u love her its apparent.tell her that you do love her. if u decide a bit more on the marriage thing then before you go ask her to marry you,that way ur commited to her and she wont be so upset when you leave.
good luck

Lux23 · 13-01-2008 1:32pm

If she really loves you she won't stand in the way of your dreams and will let you go. Just sit her down and explain its something you really want to do and see what she thinks. I know a few people who's partner went travelling without and it split them up but I also know a couple that it didn't so its a chance you will have to take.

Crea · 13-01-2008 1:51pm

Go but don't expect her to wait. If you don't mind if she does then break up before you go.

spinandscribble · 13-01-2008 2:03pm

Crea wrote: »

Go but don't expect her to wait. If you don't mind if she does then break up before you go.

+1

Toots · 13-01-2008 2:26pm

Quackles wrote: »

Talk to her. Involve her in the decision making process. I've known others who weren't even together that long who pulled it off - she went for her year away, he took a month in the middle and flew out for a holiday, they're still going strong.

One of the guys I went to Australia with did this, his GF was still in college and couldn't go. She came over for a month in the summer and the two of them went off on thier own for the month. Then she went back home and he met up with us again, then she came over for another fortnight during her mid-term. They coped with being apart really well, kept in regular contact etc and both stayed faithful. They're getting married in August, so it can be done, but you both have to want it.

As Crea said, If you do go don't expect her to wait. When my OH decided he was going to Australia, I put off going to college and went with him, cos I knew I'd go crazy in a long distance relationship. I was 18 at the time and we're still together. Your GF might surprise you, she may want to come too, after all, it could be possible for her to take a career break or something. The important thing is to keep her informed, don't just hide everything from her and suddenly announce you're leaving to go travelling, involve her in it.

LegacyUser · 13-01-2008 8:18pm

HI Op
if you really want to go travelling you should go, i went travelling 2 years ago and left my bf at home, it was a tough decision to make and there were days when it was really tough..
We spoke everyday and sometimes a few times a day where possible,the time difference was really tough especially when both of us worked full time hours.
We survived it and we are still together,it was tough at first when i came home probably because he was used of not having me around and having to get used of spending every evening with me again.. we now live together and couldnt be happier, we are planning on going travelling together in a few months:)
make sure you include your girlfriend in every decision..she may want to go with u..
best of luck with it

Grilfriend - Travel

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