What would you do?

WildIrishRose

I'm in my early 20's ( female )who is just really sick of men. I has been single for quite awhile and yes i suppose i am looking for a bit more than a one nighter.
I have had interest from a few men the last few mths... i'll tell you briefly about one if i can. Well he's 23 and lives about 35 minutes away from me. I only know this guy through a friend i had at the time......However i haven't met him in person as I moved the other side of the country when i was 17 and we just never got round to it before i left. We always stayed in contact whilst i was living away... the odd text here and there. I moved back about 6 mths now so we are only 35 mins away rather than hours!
He contacted me to say hi a few mths back and i said i have moved home.. he was pretty keen to suggest we meet etc and even asked me to his sisters weeding, however i declined as i hadnt met him in person etc.. i would like to have met him first b4 meeting any of his family. Well he seemed dissappointed but still his usually churphy self. He called me that night etc. Anyways...... still nothing has come from this. I have made suggestions that we could meet etc but...... it never happens..
He sent me a message basically saying that he's sorry for being such an ass and that its all his fault he hasnt met me yet.. that he's moving out for his house in march (parents) and that i'm welcome to stay whenever i like etc....
So that ws the other day... I'm sick of it, I wish he'd just tell me what he wanted..
I did ask him to meet this saturday evening... and he texted back... ah i'll see how it goes...!
Is he stringing me along? or just shy or something.... what do people think?

humbert

Well nobody here can tell you if he's stringing you along but from what you've said it doesn't sound like it. He could be unwilling to express too much interest until he's sure his feelings are mutual, which is normal.

Relax, let it flow, and hopefully by sat all will be well in the world

Seraphina

i would not read so much into communication with someone i have never met.

'sick of men' at 21? sounds like you're just overly paranoid tbh, especially given the viewpoint you put across here. suggest meeting again, and if he doesn't agree, just forget it and let him contact you if he changes his mind.

WildIrishRose

yeah..... rant rant rant from me! Sorry if i bored you. Just having one of those days (i think)

WhiteWashMan

move on already. stop overanalysing someone you havent met.
if he cant be arsed to meet up, stop wasting time and go and meet someone that will meet you face to face.

As for strining you along, jesus, who knows.

Cathmandooo

He sounds quite shy and probably has you on a pedastal in his head and keeps chickening out when it comes to meeting you.

You're young, move on to someone else

WildIrishRose

Cathoo, thanks!

starrywalsh

Meet him ........ you never know .........

Marksie

Dont over analysye the ifs and whats. Particularly of something that is not even present yet.
Live in the now and if he doesnt want to see you see someone else.
You are young so enjoy each and every day and every meeting as it comes by without looking too far ahead or trying to determine what people are thinking.
There is plenty of time to do that if things develop.

Just enjoy each and every moment be presnt in the now, that way you will be happier and won't feel as sick and tired of men.

Oryx

He sounds shy or insecure. Plus, we dont know what youve been saying to him, apart from you did turn him down the one time he tried to make a firm date (the wedding) so maybe youre sending mixed signals too.

The longer this goes on the bigger a deal it gets. Id try to keep it light, have no pressure to meet. Just be as you are now, and if youre meant to meet, you will. In the meantime stay open to all possiblities.

Wibbs

KtK wrote: »

He sounds shy or insecure. Plus, we dont know what youve been saying to him, apart from you did turn him down the one time he tried to make a firm date (the wedding) so maybe youre sending mixed signals too.

That's the vibe I was getting too. I think from your description I would be feeling a bit knocked back myself in his shoes. That's probably why he's being blase about it. Hard to say though.

The longer this goes on the bigger a deal it gets. Id try to keep it light, have no pressure to meet. Just be as you are now, and if youre meant to meet, you will. In the meantime stay open to all possiblities.

That pretty much nails it for me.

If you're sick of men at 21 you've been meeting the wrong guys or being putting out the wrong signals, or etc. TBH it's probably just a growing thing. I was sick to death of women and their madness at 21, then again at 31... It's a phase and easily helped by realising I was just sick of the ones I had made the mistake of getting involved with(and they with me no doubt). This stuff isn't easy and no on has the right answers and you never stop learning.

I'd say make a set date to meet and actually meet the guy. Somewhere neutral would be the best bet.

WildIrishRose

Thank you for all your comment's.... I would like to meet him sooner rather than later i have a good feeling that we would get on and who knows would happen. Funny, the advise and comments that ye all made are similar to the advice i would give to my friend or fellow boards.ie threads. I should just go with the flow and take my own advise sometimes!

Will be in touch,

Wildirishrose

Miss Fluff

WildIrishRose wrote: »

I'm in my early 20's ( female )who is just really sick of men.

I find your post really disturbing OP. You haven't even met this guy I wouldn't give up on men just yet, why not go and meet "real" tangible human beings and see how you get on?