Best Mates Dad fancys me

crazydave

Well basically as the title suggests,my mates dad fancys me.Heres a bit of background.Im an 18 year old male doing my leaving and Ive been friends with my best mate since i was in primary school so about ten years.Ive always got on with his family and spend quite a lot of time there staying over and stuff.My mates dad is divorced from his wife and has been for quite some time.Not really sure what happened there cos my mate has never talked about it.

Anyway in the last year or so since ive been been calling over hes always complimenting me saying that im looking great or that i must be beating girls off with a stick.Ive never thought much of these comments and always laughed them off.

Anyways recently me and my mate were on a night out and my mate got so drunk i had to call his dad to get him to pick him up.The dad came into town to collect him and my mate passed out in the back of the car.The dad said hed give me a lift home and on the way home he started saying how i was such a good friend and he was so glad that i was friends with his son.I was pretty drunk at this stage so didnt really take much of it in but then the next thing hes kissing me and his hands are all over me.I kissed him back for a second and then pushed him of me and jumped out of the car.

Now i know im definitely not gay but i just dont know what to do about the situation.I cant really tell anyone cos this kind of story could ruin a lot of peoples lives.So what im asking is what should i do?

biko

Next time you see him shrug it off and say that nothing will happen ever again and if he ever approaches you in any other way than X's da you'll blow the whistle on him?
It's not wrong for him to come on to you in my opinion, but this situation makes things impossible.

Liam Byrne

Sorry ????

I kissed him back for a second.....Now i know im definitely not gay

If a guy even came CLOSE to kissing me I'd jump out of the car THEN, not a second later!

Not being homophobic in saying that - just saying that if you're not, you're NOT.

Stark

Sometimes people can be curious even if they're not particularly interested.

Miss Fluff

Tell him you're not interested and that you bat for the other side. Don't let it effect your friendship with your mate. Just be firm with the guy and make it clear that it aint gonna happen. Ever.

Elessar

Wow that sounds rightly creepy. I would just avoid him forever if I were you. If you threaten to tell he could get violent. Many people may not believe you either.

STAY AWAY from that freak.

Wibbs

Agreed, stay away from the freak. Regardless of the sexuality of the situation, he's older and in some position of authority, so pulling this crap is well out of order. If he was pulling this with an 18 year old woman, same diff.

Agent J

These type of situations can either be allowed to be blown out of all proportion or settled very quickly and quitely.

Pull him aside and firmly say that its not to happen again. You arent interested etc etc. Then drop it and forget it happened. If he is reasonable i dont see why he wouldnt go along with this.

No point in telling your mate and no point in pointly trying to avoid his dad otherwise questions will be asked.

Dave!

2 options;

a) Take the dad aside next time there's a good opportunity. Tell him it won't happen, and if he's gay that he should tell the kids, etc., before he starts trying to have sexual relationships again.

OR

b) Just don't bring it up again. Try to return to normality with the dad and don't end up alone again.


Either way, do NOT tell anyone. It could be very damaging and could really really damage relationships, especially between father and son. Keep it to yourself.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Sorry ????



If a guy even came CLOSE to kissing me I'd jump out of the car THEN, not a second later!

Not being homophobic in saying that - just saying that if you're not, you're NOT.

Figure of authority, embarrassment for the guy could have overpowered for a second, wouldn't think he's gay.

OP he's probably feeling twice as awkward as you. Would prob just avoid, hopefully he'll make an effort to do the same.

Varkov

Does he have a moustache?

Beruthiel

Varkov wrote: »

Does he have a moustache?

Read this forums charter with regards to useless, unhelpful comments before you get yourself banned.
B

star-pants

As most people have already suggested - there's the two options
- set the record straight with the dad
- forget about it and just don't leave yourself alone with him.

I think you should say it to the dad. He's a grown man, he was sober, he knew what he was up to, and was trying to take advantage(of the situation) whilst you were clearly drunk.
I've been harassed whilst sober, and had to live in the same house with that person for a month whilst it was happening -- you need to let them know they can't do that to you or anyone.
It was possibly a stupid mistake on his part - but he should have known better. I do agree don't tell your friend or anyone else, no point in letting a resolvable situation upset them.

That can't have been a nice experience for you and it's going to be a little awkward - but I think if you let the dad know where ye both stand, at least you'll have cleared the air.

Gary ITR

If that was the guys mother you'd probably not have stopped it and never said anything to your mate so you shouldn't say anything about this. Just have a word and tell him never gonna happen and that you
'd prefer if nobody else ever found out about it

crazydave

Hey guys thanks for all the advice.Im going out with my mate again tonight and we are all drinking in his so i guess i wont be able to avoid his dad forever.I still havent told anyone what has happened and dont plan to. Im not going to confront the dad or say anything but if he does anything again im going to put him in his place

star-pants

crazydave wrote: »

Hey guys thanks for all the advice.Im going out with my mate again tonight and we are all drinking in his so i guess i wont be able to avoid his dad forever.I still havent told anyone what has happened and dont plan to. Im not going to confront the dad or say anything but if he does anything again im going to put him in his place

Sounds like a plan hun, hopefully he'll leave you well enough alone.

McGinty

Hi Op

You are probably doing the best thing by saying nothing for now, but if he offers you a lift again, refuse, do not be alone with this man he is a creep trying that **** on with you. Furthermore if he makes his usual comments of looking good, etc, look at him as if he were dirt beneath your shoe (make sure no one else notices) that ought to shut him up. I wouldn't worry about the momentary kiss thing, when we are drunk it takes our brains much longer to react (hence the whole drink driving thing) the main thing is you pushed him off and got out so don't mind what others say about that.

paul_ire57

you prob wont be able to avoid meeting his dad again if you are such good friends with his son, its a case of trying to avoid situations where you are 1 on 1, but again its probably going to happen at some stage, so if i was you i think i would not say anything in either event, and if he brooches the subject i would be very firm about it and say that nothing happened that meant anything to you whatsoever and id be quickly changing the subject.

if this came out into the open it then becomes an extremely sensitive issue between your mate and you and your mate and his dad and would no doubt be the end of your friendship too i feel.

While i feel its unfortunate that you may have to bear the burden on this i dont see much in the way of options for you but to try to forget about it and when any situations arise where it may be a problem, to act with a clear head


Best of luck with it, its a very awkward situation
P

LadyJ

Chances are, if your friend never talks about why his parents divorced then perhaps he knows that his father is gay and that's what ended the marriage. A lot of 18 year old boys would be very embarassed by this kind of thing.

Also, if you're not gay you're not gay but we never know how we will react in an unuaual situation out of fear, embarassment or drunkeness for that matter.

The fact of the matter is that the man should not have put you in that position. It was wrong of him to do it. If he suggests anything again then tell him you are not interested and end the discussion there. However, unless he tries anything again then maybe it is not necessary to bring it up again. Just forget it.

If you feel though that you would like to be sure of preventing it from happening in the future then maybe just take him aside and let him know you are not interested and that it can never happen again. No need to be aggressive or rude at all, just be calm and firm. Remember, he is only human and not some kind of weirdo. It's natural for older men to desire younger women/men. Sometimes they slip up and act on it though. It's rarely a good idea but he probably meant no harm and is mortified about the whole thing.

Esel

Sleaze bag tried to take advantage of you when you were drunk. If it was me, I'd tell him where to get off. Sure, he's entitled to be gay etc., but pulling sh!t like that is just not on.