Girlie fun!!

LegacyUser

error

LegacyUser

tried to edit my post and deleteted it! oopps!!

So here is is again!

Well I am in a long term relationship and I would call myself hetrosexual. I did have a phase about 2yrs ago where i was totally turned on by the thought of being with another woman (and possibly including my husband). We talked about it so he is well aware of my curiousity. But he felt threathened by it and not sure if it would be a good idea. As it happened i just stopped fantasising about it so it is not an issue any more. Our sex life is extremely good and very active. We are very intimate and I cannot complain but..... the ideas are back in my head. Rather I think they have been put into my head by a friend. We have become very good friends over the past 12 months and know eachother very well. Our husbands are also very good freind so we socialise on a regular basis. Occassionally we have a girlie night together. A few times (when we have been mashed) I have got the feeling that she is sussing me out. We would hug and kiss(pecks) as you do when you are locked and doing the 'you're my best mate, i love you 'thing. But i do think something could happen. Just before Christmas our hubbies were out together and I went round to her for a few drinks. Well we got hammered and I had to bring her up to bed. She asked me to get in beside her so i lay next to her and we had a bit of a fumble /grope but her hubby came home so i left asap. Explaining that i had just put her to bed. I was not as far on as she was. But now I can't stop wondering. I know the opportunity will occur again. What should I do? Maybe I should forget about it as it has never been referred to by her? Any advice please!

biko

You are both married so that would be cheating on both parts.
IF your husband was up for it you could arrange with a single woman to join but this does not seem to be the case.
Last resort is to get you husbands approval to have a girl-on-girl fling with a single woman. Or just keep fantasising but don't act on it. G'luck.

Oryx

There are three things you can do.
1. Tell your husband whats going on and give him the opportunity to say hes ok with it, or object. Decide from that what to do.
2. Cheat on your husband. Unless you can be open with your husband about whats going on (and hes ok with it), if you go further with this woman you are cheating. The gender is irrelevant. If you do go ahead, do it with your eyes wide open about whats happening. Dont think its no risk to your marriage because its with a girl.
3. Avoid the girl and any temptation to be with her. If needs be, talk to her about it so she knows why your behaviour may have changed.

LegacyUser

So all I am hearing is the negative! Well it is kind of what I had been thinking. there is not going to be a good outcome from this if things go any further and I am not in the habit of cheating on my husband! I don't! So I think I will mention it to this girl and possibly discuss it with her. It may even be that she feels I am giving her the come on??? Which I don't think I have I am not ususally a flirty person.I may even get to have the opportunity to chat tomorrow evening as she is due to call over for a glass of vino. I do think I would need dutch courage for this.

GreeBo

KtK wrote: »

if you go further with this woman you are cheating.

I think she already cheated. OP would you consider it cheating if your husband had done what you have done.
As for next steps, I think you need to talk to your husband.
If he is ok with it then I think you need to talk to your friend.
Then she needs to talk to her husband.
Then and only then IMO can you decide anything, even if you and your husband think its ok you dont want to break up someone elses relationship...do you?

How Strange

IMO, if you are going to discuss it with your friend then you are hoping for something to happen. Cheating is cheating no matter what. I think you are fooling yourself.

If you had no intention of taking this further you would either say nothing to her or give her a wide berth until things have settled down and some time has passed.

I also think you are caught up in some ridiculous idea that your husband would be delighted to hear about your girl on girl action.

LegacyUser

How Strange wrote: »

IMO, if you are going to discuss it with your friend then you are hoping for something to happen. Cheating is cheating no matter what. I think you are fooling yourself.

If you had no intention of taking this further you would either say nothing to her or give her a wide berth until things have settled down and some time has passed.

I also think you are caught up in some ridiculous idea that your husband would be delighted to hear about your girl on girl action.

Howstrange, after reading your reply I have decided to say nothing. I am not going to make an issue of it. I think I should also make sure that there is less opportunity of the situation happening again. Two's company but sometimes three is not a crowd. I could ask another friend over tomorrow evening if it happens at all.

By the way I don't have a ridiculou idea about my husband. He would not be impressed! It may be different if it was something we decided to do as a couple but on my own would be curtains. So I know I shouldn't even be thinking about it.

A few words of wisdom and I feel I have my head sorted out again.

thanks to all

nacho libre

"Two's company but sometimes three is not a crowd. I could ask another friend over tomorrow evening if it happens at all."


or you could just cancel the evening with her and not be in the path of temptation for a while. that is if you are serious about implementing the advice offered in this thread

LegacyUser

Well, I cancelled the evening. Seemed the smarter thing to do.

Miss Fluff

What's your plan of action though OP? Are you going to continue to avoid her in future or what?

Dave!

Try to convince your hubby again... And if he's game, try convince the other hubby... Then go for it

Wing Walker

DaveMcG wrote: »

Try to convince your hubby again... And if he's game, try convince the other hubby... Then go for it

I initially laughed at this but on mature reflection, I think you're right Dave. Sound advice really. Sometimes the old taboos are the hardest to bring up with loved ones. Sometimes loving relationships can be open, no?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the feedback. I won't be avoiding her in the future as she is a really good friend and afterall I may be getting the whole senario confussed. To me my friendship is more important.

Dave, good suggeation but it is unlikely that will happen. Would be interesting though and I do agree that sometimes these subjects are taboo when in actual fact if it is up for discussion a couple/relationship can often benefit from sharing their honest views, opinions and feelings. Not every relationship is ready for sole bearing conversations as this and thats fine as there may never be the need to. Myself and my partner are quiet close and open up well to eachother but I do think timing and mood are crucial to this. You can't just blurt out what is on your mind or start to discuss personal topics from cold.

So it is a conversation that I will not plan but I do know it is one for the future.

Nevyn

I would suggest that you rent or buy a copy of the move 'sex monster' and watch it with your husband.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0159730/

It deals with a lot of the issues in a fun away.

Springtime

Well, this is my first post on boards and I'm not sure that it will be very welcome. All the posters so far seem deeply moral and sincere people.

I guess I'm not, as my first reaction to the OP's question was 'Do it!'
I'm probably identifying a bit too much (as another married woman) but why stay curious for the rest of your life?

It is cheating.... but (I know I'll be pounced on for this bit) fooling about a bit with another girl doesn't seem as bad to me as fooling about with a man. Yes, I know as regards an affair gender shouldn't matter but it seems like something totally separate from your husband, to me.

As you say, you did bring it up with him and he's not keen to be involved with any senarios like this. Fair enough and I know what you mean about not wanting to say certain things to a partner that can never be unsaid.

I would be totally tempted to indulge in some very private 'girlie fun'. My only concern would be things becoming awkward with your friend afterwards.

So I'm not very moral but that's my honest reaction.

finbarrk

Chance it if the opportunity comes up again, just make sure nobody finds out about it. You'll probably regret it if you don't. Although you'll regret it also if found out.

spinandscribble

'girlie fun'?

come on if this was 'ladish fun' ppl would be jumping down her neck. the op mentions nothing about guilt but just because it was a female she was touching in bed doesnt make it any better then if it was a man. experiment when you're free to do so, not at the expense of your husband without his consent.

pisslips

This is not taboo, the subject is fine in this day and age, it is potentially a selfish act which would deeply hurt someone who cares about you.

What's taboo about it?Wow, lesbians....yawn.

spinandscribble

pisslips wrote: »

This is not taboo, the subject is fine in this day and age, it is potentially a selfish act which would deeply hurt someone who cares about you.

What's taboo about it?Wow, lesbians....yawn.

exactly. just because its taboo doesnt give you free reign to do it for a laugh anyway.

you cant do something and go back and ask for permission after.

how would you feel if you found out your husband was really enjoying touching his male mate and then went "is that ok hun because i'd reeeally like to take it further *wink wink*"?

Fanny Cradock

finbarrk wrote: »

Chance it if the opportunity comes up again, just make sure nobody finds out about it. You'll probably regret it if you don't. Although you'll regret it also if found out.

Terrible, selfish advice.

Carrigart Exile

spinandscribble wrote: »

exactly. just because its taboo doesnt give you free reign to do it for a laugh anyway.

you cant do something and go back and ask for permission after.

how would you feel if you found out your husband was really enjoying touching his male mate and then went "is that ok hun because i'd reeeally like to take it further *wink wink*"?

My thought exactly, how would you feel if your husbands started sharing some secret man love with each other

Dave!

It's still cheating even if it's "just a bit of fun". Get the husbands' permission, or else end it with them -- cos this situation has alot of potential.............. ¬_¬