I cant cope anymore.

LegacyUser

Ive been down for the guts of a year now, even in times when I should have been ecstatically happy I haven't been. I've pretended to be. I feel like everything I try to help myself doesnt work out and I end up being knocked down again. Ive been to my Gp, Ive been on anti depressants that didnt help they just made me feel horrible and I was constantly in my own little world were everything was in slow motion. Ive gone to counselling, it scared the hell out of me and didnt help. Thoughts of suicide are in my mind a lot but I couldnt bring myself to tell my family , it would break thier hearts. They know Im depressed but thats as far I would talk to them aboiut it. There is so much stuff going on with sick family members and I Im scared people will think Im attention seeking.I honestly dont know what to do, I want out and I know the only thing stopping me is the fact I wouldnt do it to my family. Any advice would be great, I cant see and end to this.

channaigh

think u should go back to your gp again its terrible when you are in that place i know how u feel. but you have to try and stop being up in your head so much counselling is great try it again maybe with someone different or try a life coache. ur in a horrible place now u can come through this ur bigger than this. i know its hard to do anything when u feel like this but little steps but u will have to work on it everyday. i wish u luck please tlk to someone probable better outside ur family. wishing u well

dirtydress

^ Agree with above poster. Anti-depressants dont work for everyone, you might do better with another method like counselling. Don't lose hope yet, there are ways out of this. Good luck x

af_thefragile

Hey,
Try listening to Anthony Robbins. He's an amazing guy, he changed my life a great deal, might work out for you too.

I know how you feel like. I was in the same state as you after my break up with my ex about 6moths ago. It was like hell. I did go to a counsellor and it helped me a bit. I don't like anti-depressents and all so i stayed away from all of that.
I was sorta suicidal too and the only thing stopping me was the consequences and my family.

But then I decided to not give into that downward spiral of mine and i decided to change my life. I joined a gym and started getting some regular exercise. Trust me, exercise helps a great way! Makes you feel a lot better bout yourself and gives you a better view of life. Nothing like running by the beach with the sea besides you and fresh wind in your hair, its awesome!
Then i got into other activities i like that'ld keep me busy. One thing i really learned was staying in my little room all day was only making things worse. I needed to go out everyday to stay stable.

SO basically i started to focus on the deep roots of my depression and i started to pull out all those causes for me feeling the way i hated. The most tough and important thing is to first identify the reasons why you feel the way you do. Once you've got those identified, work on them, fight away the depression rather than escaping from it with drugs, alcohol n stuff.

Its takes a while, its a long and slow process. But everyday you learn something new and become a better person. Once you're out of that circle of depression, you'll actually look back at it as one of the best thing that happened to you. If it wasn't for that you wouldn't be the person you are now. Like Tony Robbins says, if you feel bad about something, be happy cuz until you don't feel bad about something in your life, you're not gonna change and do anything bout it!

Hope it helps.
It helped for me. It was a tough route out of that vicious downward spiral of grief and depression i had got myself into after my breakup. But not i'm out of it and i'm a changed person. I'm a much stronger and better person. I enjoy my life a lot more than i ever did! And if it wasn't for the break up, i wouldn't have had been the person i am now...!!

neuro-praxis

Lots of good advice here.

My summary:

1) Acknowledge the causes of the depression and get the help you need to deal with these.

2) Assess your values. What do you need in order to feel happy? (For example, in order to feel happy, I need to have some time with a friend, get some solid work done, have at least one good laugh and have at least 30 minutes spent quietly alone - EVERY day.)

3) Apply "sticking plasters" - i.e. positive behaviours and habits that will make you feel better or help you to cope. Example:

-Exercise
-Good diet
-Enjoyable past-times (books, movies, time with friends - whatever you enjoy)
-Order (clean your room, wash all your clothes...believe me, it helps)

Also, accept help. People will want to give it. You can do this. Things are truly and honestly not as bad as they seem - and if they are - well, then it is time to make some changes. Good luck.

RubyXI

Hi OP. I know how you feel. I've felt like that for the last about 10 years, and i'm only 23. I'v only recently realised that it could be depression. At least u've taken the step of talking to a doctor so maybe u'll be able to talk to a counciller or someone and that may help for u. I havent been able to go to a doctor or tell anyone. I just cant bring myself to do it.

Moss

Don't give up on the medication just yet. It takes time to find the right combination of medications. If your meds don't agree with you tell your doctor and he will change them. There are so many different anti-depressants and mood-stabilisers and it would be extremely unusual if you did not benefit at all from medication.

Stick with the evidence based treatment approach, i.e. medication and psychotherapy. That offers you the best chance of getting better. If you see a GP he might refer you to a psychiatrist. That would be a really good start. He would prescribe medication and might recommend a clinical psychologist for psychotherapy. Counsellors are not qualified to deal with clinical depression and there is no evidence that generic counselling is effective for treating depression.

Don't be afraid to tell your family. You don't have to worry them by saying you're suicidal. Say you are suffering from depression and you are getting help and you're going to get better soon. Your family would want you to get help.

This is very serious and does not go away of its own accord. The sooner you start accessing professional services the better.

You might want to read Dr Patrick McKeown's book 'Coping with Depression and Elation'. Its very good and explains the science of mood swings in a way the layman can understand. The vast majority recover fully when they persevere with the combined evidence based treatments. It will be worth it. Good luck.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Moss wrote: »

Don't give up on the medication just yet. It takes time to find the right combination of medications. If your meds don't agree with you tell your doctor and he will change them. There are so many different anti-depressants and mood-stabilisers and it would be extremely unusual if you did not benefit at all from medication.

I'd have to disagree, most anti-depressants don't have much of a success rate above placebos & a lot of them are addictive. Last resort if you ask me.

Totally agree with psychotherapy/gym/diet.

Clytus

OP...you need to understand that there is NO_ONE who is actually gonna grab you and pull you out of the gutter...you need to do it yourself. All the help and encouragement will be there from friends and family.....but it will take a major effort from you to actually pull through this.

I was where you were along time ago....and tbh I had reached a point of justifying suicide in my own head.But one day I realised that no matter how unhappy I was...there was nobody who was gonna other than myself who was gonna make me feel better.

You need to find 1 thing your either good at...or makes you feel good....and work at it...its like a domino effect...one thing leads to another which leads to another.One thing that helped me was to set an objective or goal for the year....it could be anything...small or big...it doesnt matter...but once youve achieved that goal it helps with your confidence.


Hope you get better OP....because trust me...life is alot easier/nicer/better/kinder that it otherwise needs to be.

LegacyUser

Right....I could be very straight forward and tell u to stop feeling sorry for yourself but if i did that then I would be telling you something that I should be listening to everyday in my own head...Everybody gets down-I know what your saying"oh what would u know"..believe it or not Ive been through my fair share of family troubles,debt,stress and believe me Ive been to counselling and yes it scared the hell outta me 2...but why would you be so selfish in thinking of taking your own life with the thought in the back of your mind what you would be doing to those closest to you-everybody has a hard time...im feeling on the brink of tears all day but jesus....there are people out there so much more in dire need of comfort and who are in such trouble with themselves, with terminal illnesses etc...you don't need anti-depressants...you need to change the way you look at things...you need to get some paper....draw a line down the middle and on either sides of that page...Pros and Cons....
You need to write down, take your time to think things through and make out in each panel what you need in your life and what you can sweep under the floorboards...
You must be able to get into a frame of mind that you can be positive bout your life...believe me,theres a purpose for every single one of us-if that purpose was fulfilled then it would be time for you to end things the way you say you have thought about but....you still have a purpose and until u get the opportunity to fulfill that you can't be selfish and end things...young kids are struggling everyday with chemo,heart conditions and a lot of other life threatening diseases....you just have to sit back and thank yourself lucky that you aren't gonna break those people close to u in 2 because you are feeling lonely and lost....Im not a holy person and Im not a preacher but I am writing from years of feeling just like you do....in the morning,when you wake up,look at yourself and tell yourself u'll give yourself the chance to try enjoy your day....go to a gallery...r the cinema....r to the library....go somewhere you dont need to communicate with anyone and just get lost in the world in which ur in-listen to music and draw or what I do best is write it all down.....just remember,nobody is perfect,if we were we'd be a seriously dry lot....u dont need medication,u need to believe in yourself...thats what makes us different from each other....Samuel Beckett once sed "Try,Fail,Try again,Fail better"..........you can't lose in life,its life that loses you.! Sorry for rambling, sorry!

Moss

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

I'd have to disagree, most anti-depressants don't have much of a success rate above placebos & a lot of them are addictive. Last resort if you ask me.

Totally agree with psychotherapy/gym/diet.

The idea that anti-depressants don't have any benefit above and beyond placebo is rubbish. The clinical trials designed to demonstrate the efficacy of antidepressants are called Random Double-Blind Placebo Controlled Trials. That means there is one group receiving a placebo (i.e. sugar pill) and another receiving a genuine anti-depressant and the people on the trial don't know which they are getting. In other words the clinical trials deliberately measure the efficacy of anti-depressants against placebo. The placebo group usually have a response rate of between 20-30 per cent, whereas the response rate from antidepressants is usually between 60-70 per cent and sometimes higher. Therefore the antidepressants commonly used have been proven to be statistically significantly superior to placebo.

You can talk about drug company bias and all the rest but independent medical schools around the world have found the same results.

Not only that, antidepressants can be combined with mood stabilisers to bring about a better response. E.g. SSRI's combined with lithium have been shown to bring about a response in 50% of cases that did not initially respond to a standard antidepressant.

As for being addictive, the best psychologists and psychiatrists in the country will tell you that they are not addictive. Their effect does not wear off with time and therefore there is no need to keep increasing the dose as there is with addictive drugs like morphine or cocaine. Most people can come off antidepressants with only very mild withdrawal effects.

People suffering from clinical depression (I mean the real deal, bed ridden and suicidal) need medication.

I'm not taking away from other methods at all, like exercise and psychotherapy, I'm saying the combined treatment is best. You shouldn't try persaude people on boards not to accept a proven medical treatment that could save their life.