Planing to give up??

Lance111

Hi all,
Ok, I smoke about 15/20 smokes a day.. I have tried many times before to give up, from patches with group talks(I lasted 5 weeks) and also inhaler, gum, many years back... But I am still smoking...??
Every time I give up in the past, I have wierd thoughts, and my brains scrambles, till it takes me down to a depression state, then I can't take it much more and then I am back on the fags..
I will admit I do suffer from bad bouts of depression and given up smoking does put alot of strain on this..
The strange thing is I can go out in the car or around the town and I would smoke, Its more of a personal thing for me in the house. My Mother passed away last year from lung cancer (She had always been a very smoker, and her passing was not nice at all!) I know all the bad things about smoking, I have seen the final stages first hand, but i can't seem to get passed this depression stage.

I have been thinking of trying Allen Carr's method, but it sounds to good to be true! Has anybody ever tried it and whats involved, could this work for me? any suggestions all welcome, many thanks, Lance

azzeretti

Carr has more than one book on giving up. I first read a small easy way book, which wasn't that good. About a year later I tried a revised version, called "Easy way Permanently" or something similar. It was a much thicker book and to be honest was quite hard to complete. However, at the end of the book there is a chapter called the Last Smoke, in which you have your last ever smoke. I read that chapter 5 years ago and I can honestly say I haven't ever though of a smoke again. I was smoking about 20 a day and 40 at the weekends.

Although I found the book difficult to read I would recommend you stick with it. Its almost like your being reprogrammed by repetition. He breaks down all the usual smokers excuses and makes you realise that your basically a slave.

I couldn't recommend it more. Best of luck with whatever you try.

cance

Hey lance,

from what i've found with these messageboards, others and life experience its safe to safe everyone is different and succeed from different methods.

I have tried the carr route, it didnt work out for me, i didnt enjoy the reading of it, i found the book a complete snore and couldnt keep reading it fluidly. that said, it did give me a new perspective on how to handle my cravings and how to rationalise the "panic'ey" moments.

Personally i think you can do no wrong from reading the book, whats the worst that happens? you dont quit? but sure you have taken a step further than you have done recently and actually tried to quit. If you dont find Carr works, theres a hypnosis tape from Paul McKenna that i found really usefull. again it didnt make me quit but it gave me more information and rational to my eventual quit. If you take anything from what you attempt its not a failure.

I didnt quit the first time i tried either, but i kept trying, if at first you dont suceed try try again. you have taken the first step in looking at your alternatives, now make a decision, follow it up and you will quit.

ali.c

the first time i used the allen carr method i found it pretty easy to stop, so easy in fact i started again. Now since then i never really found the method worked for me, at most i'd managed was 2 days or something.

Then on the advice from a poster here i read the free e-book by Mark Jordan, Stop Smoking - Break the Chains, which you can Google for and download. Now i am only 7 days into it but whilst not ridiculuosly easily it is manageable.

I guess my point is that there is more that one way to skin a cat, the way i see it is if you try allen carr and it doesnt work you really havent lost anything. If you do find it ridiculuosly easy to quit well dont be tempted to go back on them!

They offer AFAIK internet courses, group sessions and of course the book. I think the group sessions are more successful, though i'd imagine this is because you commit to going so far in advance, and are more expensive. The group sessions also offer free repeat session for the first 3 months or something so if you are comitted to stoping thats something to bear in mind i guess

Good Luck with it!

JHMEG

OP, read Allen Carr slowly (as in take your time) but carefully. Even if you don't finish it enough stuff will rub off on you that will make giving up by cold turkey or whatever a lot easier.

I know what you mean about scrambled brain. For the first 5-7 days I didn't know what was going on and felt the brain was so scrambled that I shouldn't drive the car. My wife googled and told me every single symptom was a result of nicotine withdrawl. Jeez, I was relieved. Anyway they all passed and things got back to normal, minus fags.

Lance111

Hey thanks for all your input guys!!
the other thing i don't know how to approach is that my only two close friends are smokers, and they visit the house on a regular basis, they think of smokeing to be a social basis of homelyness and class anyone that doesn't to be upperclassed, (stupid I know)..
So the question is, if I am going to give up smoking, I will be telling them that I am going smoke free and that includes my home! How they will take it i really don't know, I know they have critisied people in the past even for making their house smoke free.. The situation has never really arose till now, but I would insist that no one was to smoke in my house, if not for me but for my Children and my wife..
I don't want to ofend them as they are good people, but view smoking as a bond of friendship if you see what I mean?
Has anybody else had this situation in their life if so how did you handle it? many thanks.....

cance

Lance111 wrote: »

So the question is, if I am going to give up smoking, I will be telling them that I am going smoke free and that includes my home! How they will take it i really don't know, I know they have critisied people in the past even for making their house smoke free.. The situation has never really arose till now, but I would insist that no one was to smoke in my house, if not for me but for my Children and my wife..

hey again lance, My fiance still smokes and we live in an apartment together, i never felt the need to enforce my quitting on her as its not fair. i entered into my relationship with her as a smoker and i was the one changing the grounds so i didnt feel the right to demand she changes her habits on my steam.

But this is swings and roundabouts, by having her smoke in my general vicinity i feel it strengthened my ability to say no. No matter where you are in life you are always going to be subjected to cigarette smoke so maybe you could use your friends as good practice and abstain from smoking while in their company?

Lance111 wrote: »

I don't want to ofend them as they are good people, but view smoking as a bond of friendship if you see what I mean?
Has anybody else had this situation in their life if so how did you handle it? many thanks.....

I'm sure your friends will agree with me when i say that there is more to your friendship than smoking If you do choose to be a smoke free house, i'm sure they will support your decision, explain why you are quitting too if you feel it will help. they will give you a bit of a slagging i'm sure, but at the end of the day if you succeed i'd say they'll be very jealous.

Terry

Do your friends smoke at home?

If they are good friends, then they will accept your decision.
Remember, your house, your rules.

ali.c

Lance111 wrote: »

So the question is, if I am going to give up smoking, I will be telling them that I am going smoke free and that includes my home! How they will take it i really don't know, I know they have critisied people in the past even for making their house smoke free.. The situation has never really arose till now, but I would insist that no one was to smoke in my house, if not for me but for my Children and my wife..

Just wondering if as a smoker you smoke in your home? See i can see why they would see that as being a bit hypocritical, not saying that they would be right or anything but i can kind of see the point. Put it this way if you do smoke in your gaff really how concerned are you about the air your kids and wife breath?

I reckon to head it off at the pass you have two options, maybe designate a smoking room say the kitchen or something where you can open the door or prior to giving up make your home a "smoke free zone" and smoke outside yourself and make your friends smoke outside.

My mam stopped smoking and made the house smoke free, in reality it did piss me off because when she smoked she always did so in the house so why should i afford her any more courtesy than she did me?

The other alternative is of course just to tell your friends that you are quitting and ask them to support you and if they dont maybe explain the rational behind your giving up etc.

Lance111

Thanks Terry and Ali C for your thoughts on this...

Do your friends smoke at home?

Yes they do Terry, They smoke very heavy..

Just wondering if as a smoker you smoke in your home? See i can see why they would see that as being a bit hypocritical, not saying that they would be right or anything but i can kind of see the point. Put it this way if you do smoke in your gaff really how concerned are you about the air your kids and wife breath?

LOL I know it sounds hypocritical, but the strange thing is, My wife has never smoked and it doesn't bother her that people come to the house and smoke... I only smoke by the computer, I never sit in the arm chairs smoking, its more of a physical habbit that way..
I roll my own cigs, I find not alot of smoke comes off them like the (Normal Cigs so to speak) and they keep going out, so I will smoke half then half later etc.. But I can see you point, maybe I should just let them carry on smoking after all they are only visiting, I don't want to become one of these ex smokers that look you up and down funy for smoking, thats the last thing I would want..
But say if i give up and I was in a room with people that smoked, wouldn't it be like cheating, as I would be able to breath in their smoke alternative to having one myself? Has anybody else thought like this or is it only me LOL, many thanks..

Terry

Lance111 wrote: »

Thanks Terry and Ali C for your thoughts on this...


Yes they do Terry, They smoke very heavy..




LOL I know it sounds hypocritical, but the strange thing is, My wife has never smoked and it doesn't bother her that people come to the house and smoke... I only smoke by the computer, I never sit in the arm chairs smoking, its more of a physical habbit that way..
I roll my own cigs, I find not alot of smoke comes off them like the (Normal Cigs so to speak) and they keep going out, so I will smoke half then half later etc.. But I can see you point, maybe I should just let them carry on smoking after all they are only visiting, I don't want to become one of these ex smokers that look you up and down funy for smoking, thats the last thing I would want..
But say if i give up and I was in a room with people that smoked, wouldn't it be like cheating, as I would be able to breath in their smoke alternative to having one myself? Has anybody else thought like this or is it only me LOL, many thanks..

Listen, if it makes you uncomfortable to have them smoking in your house, then don't let them do it.

I have plenty of friends who don't smoke and I have no problem going outside when I'm at their houses. It's a sacrifice that needs to be made.

missmatty

The only place i smoke in our shared apartment is my bedroom (which my flatmate obviously doesn't come into).
I have a big room with big windows which I keep open alot of the time, even so i know my flatmate gets the occassional whiff of the smell which she moans about. But I pay enough for the place that I'm not going to go outside. I never smoke though in nonsmoking friends houses, I wouldn't even ask :eek:

Lance111

Thanks for the replys people!!
OK My Allen carr CD Rom came this morning, I was allready up working on the PC, I had no intentions of stopping as yet..
So I put the CD on and started to watch it (And of course its interactive so you can answer questions etc) Well by the end of it I had decided to smoke my last fag...
That was at 12.30pm dinner time today.. Its now 21.10pm and I haven't smoked since..
I am feeling dizzy and a feeling of my lungs are crushing lol (Not to bad ) I have taken out all the ash trays etc Allen carr says don't change your rountine, so I have been drinking my usuall shed full of tea lol, I am doing ok for now, touch wood.. thought I would let you know, Take care, Lance..

ali.c

Lance111 wrote: »

Well by the end of it I had decided to smoke my last fag...
That was at 12.30pm dinner time today.. Its now 21.10pm and I haven't smoked since..
I am feeling dizzy and a feeling of my lungs are crushing lol (Not to bad ) I have taken out all the ash trays etc Allen carr says don't change your rountine, so I have been drinking my usuall shed full of tea lol, I am doing ok for now, touch wood.. thought I would let you know, Take care, Lance..

Yoohoo well done!! Good Luck with it and keep us updated as to how you get on! Congrats again

Lance111

Thanks Ali!! I feel a bit strange at the moment, but thats expected, I feel dizy and brain scrambled lol... how long does this last??

JHMEG

Lance111 wrote: »

Thanks Ali!! I feel a bit strange at the moment, but thats expected, I feel dizy and brain scrambled lol... how long does this last??

A week to 10 days for the worst to pass. TBH it takes a while to completely go.

Hang in there, you'll make it, and feel free to substitute anything* for fags. Me, I started with chewing gum, and am thinking a 3-litre twin turbo car would be suitable reward to myself for giving up.

Believe me, when you have the habit beaten you'll be soooo pround of yourself it's unreal.

*non-narcotic ;-)

Lance111

Thanks JHMEG for the reply..
Still not smoked all day today and got up from bed feeling better than I thought I would! I thought I would be going mad for a fag.. lOL, In fact I felt better than when I was smoking...

I have had times of the day when I think, 'Ok I'll have a fag then I 'll do this' got all excited!! Then thought, I have given up LOL Its also changing my physical habbit..

The Wicker Man

Lance111 wrote: »

Thanks JHMEG for the reply..
Still not smoked all day today and got up from bed feeling better than I thought I would! I thought I would be going mad for a fag.. lOL, In fact I felt better than when I was smoking...

I have had times of the day when I think, 'Ok I'll have a fag then I 'll do this' got all excited!! Then thought, I have given up LOL Its also changing my physical habbit..

Well done man !
Stick at it, you will really have a better quality of life without the smokes.
I smoked 30 a day for 18 years and I quit while reading Allan Carrs book [used the patches as well even though he advises against it, whatever works for you ....] Am now off them 6 years and feel fantastic.I am 41 and I am fitter than when I was 25, I sh*t you not !
You can do it.

Lance111

Thanks Wicker man!!:)
Its been a week today and I am still off the smokes... Its been hard the last day or so, pretty deep cravings, I am just worried will they ever go? As i hear people saying that even after 10 years they still have craving to have a fag I think 'ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!' Is this true???

The Wicker Man

The worst fear I found was the thought of craving a smoke years after stopping.I have had no such craving.With each day you are moving closer to that amazing moment when you realise you have progressed from being an ex-smoker to being a non-smoker.There is a big difference in mindset between the two.
Once you see yourself as a non-smoker the significance of cigarettes will greatly
diminish.You must not fall into the trap of thinking as an ex-smoker years from now.By then you will be a confirmed non-smoker and those little white sticks will have long ceased having any sway in your daily world.
I used to worry that I would not be able to have coffee if I wasnt smoking.The gas thing I now enjoy coffee more than I ever did.
Good to hear you are doing so well.Keep it going.

Lance111

Hey thanks Man!!:)
I have had a tuff old day today plenty of cravings and thinking, ah just have a fag and a tea then i'll do this or that etc'..... Then I think, ah, I am a non-smoker and get a bit panicky, but i made the day again lol...

cance

Lance111 wrote: »

Hey thanks Man!!:)
I have had a tuff old day today plenty of cravings and thinking, ah just have a fag and a tea then i'll do this or that etc'..... Then I think, ah, I am a non-smoker and get a bit panicky, but i made the day again lol...

well played chap! and congratulations!

those cravings are funny arent they? sure just one cant do any harm? sure if i have one now to remind myself that i dont need em? I'm a stubborn git, i try to tell myself "sure if you have a smoke now you will look like a fecking eejit and set yourself back 2 months of hard work".

that normally shuts "My Evil Friend" up for a few minutes to take control of my cravings again.

krissie

Good stuff, Lance. I quit yesterday evening. Am terrified but doing pretty good today... Found that drinking loads of water helps. And fruit every now and then. I read the Allen Carr book first last summer (stayed clean for 2 weeks, then kept going on and off, and started again), then again over Xmas (didn't even last a day though), but I think now is the time it will work. I've not re-read the book but am completely resolved, whether it'll be easy or not. Yipppeee!!

Terry

That's a great attitude to have, krissie.
I wish I felt that good about quitting.

ali.c

Lance111 wrote: »

Hey thanks Man!!:)
I have had a tuff old day today plenty of cravings and thinking, ah just have a fag and a tea then i'll do this or that etc'..... Then I think, ah, I am a non-smoker and get a bit panicky, but i made the day again lol...

Well done, you should check out www.stopsmoking.ie, i found it real helpful to remember how far i had come!! I am kinda of the attuide that whilst there are times i crave a smoke hell am i going back to the beginning and starting all over again!!

krissie

Thanks Terry!
It took me a while to get here... Am getting close to 48h smoke-free and even though there are occasional pangs, it's not that difficult to ignore them. I'm still slightly scared (that's why I'm here on the boards...), but less so. The biggest difference is that I cannot see or think of 'a single ciggy' and the 'all or nothing' deal has finally sunk in. That, and the difference between feeling like I've given up something I want or desire, and feeling like I've stopped something that was awful, and is still slightly bothersome... but temporary. I think it's Allen Carr, still, in the end. Just six-to-eight-months later! How's that for being slow? :cool:

On a different note, I had waaaaaay too much wine last night. Didn't smoke, though

ondadole

Lance111 wrote: »

Hi all,
Ok, I smoke about 15/20 smokes a day.. I have tried many times before to give up, from patches with group talks(I lasted 5 weeks) and also inhaler, gum, many years back... But I am still smoking...??
Every time I give up in the past, I have wierd thoughts, and my brains scrambles, till it takes me down to a depression state, then I can't take it much more and then I am back on the fags..
I will admit I do suffer from bad bouts of depression and given up smoking does put alot of strain on this..
The strange thing is I can go out in the car or around the town and I would smoke, Its more of a personal thing for me in the house. My Mother passed away last year from lung cancer (She had always been a very smoker, and her passing was not nice at all!) I know all the bad things about smoking, I have seen the final stages first hand, but i can't seem to get passed this depression stage.

I have been thinking of trying Allen Carr's method, but it sounds to good to be true! Has anybody ever tried it and whats involved, could this work for me? any suggestions all welcome, many thanks, Lance

Yes it is the best method!:)