Porn Addiction!

LegacyUser

Hi

I'm a man at really low point in my life right now.
I've just finished College and began working for the first time and I have moved away from home. Each day my routine run's like this. Get up, get dressed, get Breakfast, Go to work, come home from work, go on laptop and look at porn alone, fall asleep, do it all over again.

I have a lonely life devoid of much human contact and really miss my friends and family and life I have left behind. I started looking at porn in college but never to the extent that I do now. It would be 5 minutes then out doing something else. Now I'm looking at all kinds of stuff. straight, gay it does not matter. I even went into chat rooms and got vibratiors for my self. I feel disgusted with myself but can't stop.

I find myself seeking to end any conversations so that I can go home to look at things. I have a girlfriend but my sexual performance is gone down hill as I am spent from masturbating all the time and I am less turned on as my tastes are so perverted from the websites I have been looking at.

I have tried too put on a netnanny program but always remove it at moments of weakness. This is one problem which I have no one to turn to with and really need someones help with. Any sites i google are religious and perscribe prayer as a solution. I'm not religious.
Someone please help me out of this unhappiness.

Suaimhneach

No one can help you but yourself.
Get your act together.
If you know you're doing something wrong, take responsibility for it and cop on.

Its not easy but your life can have such a higher quality, but you have to set the standard.

Distract yourself and spend more time with your girlfreind.

Its okay to explore that side of yourself, but not if it is doing that much damage to your life.

Mr.Nice Guy

Helpme86 wrote: »

I feel disgusted with myself but can't stop.

Sure you can. It's all about willpower. If you feel your life is being damaged by what you're doing then put a stop to it. Avoid the laptop altogether if need be. Try and get through 24 hours. Then do the same the next day. And again. You'll find your reliance on it is no longer there.

finbarrk

Just don't bother turning on your computer, go to an internet office to check emails, etc., save your energy for your girlfriend.

Reku

The only thing I can suggest is to talk to your girlfriend, perhaps she can help you through it. It's likely that there is some other sense of emptiness/unfulfillment that you are trying to ignore by throwing yourself into this (kind of like binge eating due to feeling sad) so getting to the bottom of what is causing that feeling would be a big step forward. You say you just left college so perhaps it is just the quater-life crisis now that you're out in the working world and it's such a change from the school and college life.

Sleepy

Get rid of your internet connection?

Porkpie

I think the key is to avoid boredom and solitude. Try however you can to cultivate more personal relationships. Be more sociable, get out and do things. Develop some hobbies. If necessary get rid of your laptop.

This addiction could create problems with you and your girlfriend.

Seriously examine your problem and identify what steps you can take to overcome it. The most effective solution may be the most difficult to carry out, but it will be worth it, won't it?

magooly

Sleepy wrote: »

Get rid of your internet connection?

+1

spinandscribble

Sleepy wrote: »

Get rid of your internet connection?

and get a hobby you can do in the evening in a group like sports. you need to distract yourself.

Overheal

if you have a girlfriend I'd say give her more attention or she can put one of those victorian pieces of metal underwear with the lock and key onto you.... ew.

As for the netNanny program why not give your girlfriend sole administrative rights to activate/deactivate it?

eirebhoy

Helpme86 wrote: »

I have a girlfriend...

You left that late.

Fanny Cradock

For an immediate fix install K9 Web Protection. Get someone else to enter the password.

You need to sort out the route of this problem, though.

MLE

I know this my seem off the wall with regard to the other advice offered. But it seems to me that you have a genuine addiction and and addiction is an addiction regards of what your using.

Asking you to get rid of your internet addiction may be the same as asking a smoker to just quit!

Basically Im trying to say that if your genuine about getting help then you should get help.

Hypnotherapy might be a suggestion. It is meant to help with addictions and obviously it would be a fully confidential service.

You could also see a counsellor but it might be quicker and easier to go down the hypnotherapy route as they are counsellors anyway.

LegacyUser

I had the same issues in the past (Surprised that you actually have a gf). Somewhere along the way I just got too busy to indulge myself. Get out of the house and spend your time elsewhere, doing something more useful (ideally in the company of others).

LegacyUser

thanks for your messages, some of you mentioned talking to my girlfriend about this. I was wondering how other women think she would react if I told her about this, were currently at a point where we spend a good deal of time apart so she is totally more aware but for her saying that I am being more introverted as of late.
I have been trying to stay off the net and for the most part have been suceedding. thanks

Overheal

I still say get her or a third party to block your system for a start if you cant rely on willpower.

Another good one is deleting the vault. Yes, it might make you cry, but youre better off. Or leaving it on some cumbersome piece of removable storage that you are not likely to pull out every time you get a hard on. DVDs are the most immediate idea.

It also helps if you change your homepage from Pornotube...

If you and youre girlfriend are away a lot cant you both do something together like phone sex or have her send you some photos? Basically so you both are having that time together which will likely be less than you currently masturbate: but it will feel a lot more rewarding than random porn.

One more idea which can be of help: see how long you can last without a ****. I think I made it 6 days when I tried that - but it probably only felt like that and was more than likely 4...

Buzz Buzz

Your very right in using the term 'addiction', it is. Would you consider Sex Addicts Anonymous..?

McGinty

Hi Op

I don't know how your girlfriend would react, it depends on how openminded she is, but I would not make her or anyone else responsible for your problem. I know other posters have said get her or someone else to stop you through passwords etc, but you have a serious problem, yours is porn, others it is drink or something else. You have reduced your life to this existence, you know its making you miserable and that is a start.

I would suggest asking why you are addicted to it, what are you running away from or hiding, you may need therapy to uncover this, if it makes you feel better I struggle with alcohol abuse so I am going through the same thing in a way, I made my life small for drink and I was running away. That is the first step,
the next is to stop, you can only do this by stopping, not anyone else, only you, you will feel better and more of a man for doing so. You then need to replace it with something else that is helpful and fun (believe me it works).
You mentioned that you have become desensitised to normal types of sex, and are drawn to more hardcore stuff, you can use this to your advantage, have you ever heard of tantra sex, basically it is the combination of sexual practices and activities with spirituality, it brings the intimacy and specialness back into sex. A wonderful book is called The Art of Ecstacy by Margo Anand and if you decide to tell your girlfriend about your porn addiction, doing these practices together will enhance your relationship, open out intimacy and show how hollow ponography is. I agree that the religious route is not the best when dealing with addiction but this is non religious but does involve some spirituality and great enjoyment. Best of luck Op.

Limited

I am in the exact same position of the OP but I have been there for about 4 years...since I was a young lad(Still am i suppose), it's been brewing up. Now porn has made me kinda perverted and no "normal" sex turns me on...Now it's all fetishes that get me goin - mainly rubber...

When I amn't looking at porn, I am straight but like yourself, when the deamons are there - anyone will turn me on if they are pushing the right buttons...my addiction has gotten worse recently and I am starting to make weird friends(perverts) on the net...Anyways, I want to end this once and for all, so, if you send me a pm - we can try and go through this together.

jackdaw

Jaysus Lads!!!
How could you be straight and still look at gay porn and be turned on by it ??

and what do you mean by "sick perverted stuff" (sorry im just curious)

are we talking illegal ? or just extreme ?

Limited

Not illegal, not even that sick but just weird...It's like any addiction, the thing that repulses you the most gives you the biggest rush. It's weird like...I never think of it when I amn't hard, it's just when the blood has rushed down under that it takes over my mind...

spinandscribble

if it was my bf i'd feel awful at first that i wasnt enough but i'd realise its not me thats done this its him. i'd try and help but if we werent very serious i might say bye bye