In love with 2 men...

LegacyUser

I'm 28 being going out with a guy for 8 years. But basically i'm in love with someone else The other guy is in love with me.

I want to stop loving the other guy as nothing can ever happen as he is married even though he has told me he loves me and I have tried to seduce him but he is staying faithful, yes i know im a bitch.

But i am so confused I love my guy but i love this other guy, Its not as if we see each other a lot maybe once a month but he occupies my thoughts all day all night.

How do i stop loving him?

padser

babylove wrote: »

i know im a bitch.

Well then stop being one

Victor

Split from other thread.

Asok

Wow! you are a right bitch, Leave the married chap to his wife be and breakup with your current boyfriend as you obviously don't really love him if you are willing to betray him emotionally like that. Move on in the world and find someone else that and try to develop some sort of moral conscience while you do it.

Rattlehead_ie

Asok wrote: »

Wow! you are a right bitch, Leave the married chap to his wife be and breakup with your current boyfriend as you obviously don't really love him if you are willing to betray him emotionally like that. Move on in the world and find someone else that and try to develop some sort of moral conscience while you do it.

Harsh......Harsh but fair. I agree though. Leave married man alone and then either break up with your bf or talk to him about it. As you cant really love him if you are willing to go behind his back and cheat.

Jim

Walk away from the married guy.
If the marriage involves kids walk away faster.

chuci

leave the married man alone and his wife. has he ever given any sign that he might be interest that has sparked these feelings? if not you are a bitch. dump your boyfriend because you will end up cheating on him if not with this man then another will come along. dont bring him down with you

gandalf

What the others have said above. End the affair with the married man and be honest with your boyfriend and either fess up if you still love him or let him go if you don't.

Wibbs

In a similar vein to a thread in the ladies lounge, I posted this

This is not rocket science. You're at the "in love" infatuation stage with the new guy. You love in the long term way the boyfriend. Hence you love two men, just in different ways. You have more of the spark with the new guy. You had the same spark with the boyfriend when it was all new and exiting too though. It's just familiarity has dulled that somewhat. Spark pretty much equals horniness. It can be dressed up in flowery chocolate box romance terms, but basically you want to bone the new guy more.

Because people nowadays have more choice of partners this confuses things. In the past you would probably be married to the boyfriend and that would be that or you would have an affair.

The grass is greener stuff is where this comes from. You leave the boyfriend and go out with new guy. The lust stage passes and you find you may not be as compatible with the new guy as you were with the old. Cue tears and tales of regret. In some it's also repeat ad nauseum.

Just about sums the reasons up. As for your particular situation? Forgetting about the new guy who has is own fish to fry and is responsible for his own actions.

"Babylove" is a good description. You need to grow up, have some integrity and either dump the guy you're with or god forbid, actually think between your ears and not your legs and maybe try working things out with him.

Leave the new guy and his family alone. While you are not responsible for his feelings and more to the point actions, you are entirely responsible for your own and the consequences of said actions. Do not do the usual and just run on your "feelings" and justify it to yourself and the world later. You will get bitten by this. Karma's a bitch.

IncredibleHulk

i know im a bitch.

Really?

witchywoman

babylove wrote: »

I'm 28 being going out with a guy for 8 years. But basically i'm in love with someone else The other guy is in love with me.

I want to stop loving the other guy as nothing can ever happen as he is married even though he has told me he loves me and I have tried to seduce him but he is staying faithful, yes i know im a bitch.

But i am so confused I love my guy but i love this other guy, Its not as if we see each other a lot maybe once a month but he occupies my thoughts all day all night.

How do i stop loving him?

o.p. you have my sympathies, while its all very easy to say forget him, etc, im sure if that was possible, you would not be posting here, contrary to what people think, it is possible to fall completely, hook line and sinker for someone totally unavailable. The thing I can tell you, is that you will improve with time as regards your feelings, and someday soon , you will be able to get him out of your mind, before you wreck your life, think long and hard about the consequences, ok he has told you his marriage is not ideal, however, the only way you could emerge from this unscathed , and with the man by your side, would be to tell him that if he also feels the same way, you will give him time to sort his life out, with no contact,and when he is free to persue the relationship, then ye can get together. If indeed , the feeling is mutual, then, he should be able to do whatever it takes, without making you a scapegoat.

Toots

Sounds like a troll to me.

OP, you shouldn't have to ask what to do in this situation. Hopefully ur conscience will point you in the right direction.

estar

have some integrity and self respect

break it off with your boyfriend as you are openly trying to cheat on him


and leave the married man who is resisting you alone.

get a hobby instead of messing around with people.