constructive criticisim

Musoabuso

Hey all, been writing songs for over 10 years. Looking for some constructive criticisim please.

Thanks.

http://www.myspace.com/markosullivan

KStaford

I love Winter tears, very refreshing and a bit different. Great work

Musoabuso

KStaford wrote: »

I love Winter tears, very refreshing and a bit different. Great work

thank you

Flynn

hey,
i like winter tears.. think you over did it on the reverb though!
Sugercain is very john lennon LSD haha.. havn't heard the rest of em yet.. good work!

Your overlay is class too... how did you go about that?

Flynn

found it!

Musoabuso

Flynn wrote: »

hey,
i like winter tears.. think you over did it on the reverb though!
Sugercain is very john lennon LSD haha.. havn't heard the rest of em yet.. good work!

Your overlay is class too... how did you go about that?

Cheers mate. Overlay?

Flynn

Your flash template.. tidy..

and again, good work

harmacist

Great stuff...Really enjoyed the first tune in particular. Somethin about the melancholy melody(melancholody?)

Musoabuso

harmacist wrote: »

Great stuff...Really enjoyed the first tune in particular. Somethin about the melancholy melody(melancholody?)

cheers man

gavmeister

Musoabuso wrote: »

Hey all, been writing songs for over 10 years. Looking for some constructive criticisim please.

Thanks.

http://www.myspace.com/markosullivan

are you forcing your voice a bit in winter, try a lower key. also needs more variation in the melody? the ending is not thought out properly, its too long and all over the place searching for resolutions.
good stuff though, I would be happy enough :-)

Musoabuso

cheers man, I agree on most counts here. Will work on it further before it gets to band stage.

Brother A

Ok, I had some problem with all of these songs.

1. Each one sounded a bit 'samey' throughout.
As in, the start sounded the same as the middle, which also sounded like the end. I would like to hear to more variety in the structure.

2. Within each song, there seems to me to be 'tension' built up right at the start, held throughout, and never resolved. This annoyed me.
I would like to hear the tension resolved at least a bit more often.

3. Generally, the harmonic progressions all seem 'smooth'. This bored me.
I would like to hear at least a few 'jerky' ones to grab my attention.

4. Also, no comedy monologues were apparent. This was disappointing also.


Edit:
I would say the vocal melody _IS_ interesting and varied if taken on its own though...
(ie without hearing the guitar chord progressions & rhythm)

Musoabuso

Thanks for your thoughts.

humberklog

Brother A speaks the truth. Brother A's style of writing; thoughtful,insightful,well composed could be of help to you. I'm a writer myself and found listening to yours helpful to me. Now i've just gotta get the technical nous to put my stuff up on tinterweb for your perusal. I've an 8track at home and you've inspired me to read the manual.

fallen-kiss

i love Winter tears, great song!

Musoabuso

fallen-kiss wrote: »

i love Winter tears, great song!

Thank you.

dream brother

Im liking Winter Tears man, pretty good melodies going there, definitely needs a big sound behind it though!