Perfect Lazy Days.

Pighead

Pighead has one thing in common with all you large balding lads. He's one hell of a lazy fcuker. Crippled turtles move faster than Pighead on a lazy day. Having worked pretty damn hard last month and having partied hard since New Years Eve Pighead has just decided that tomorrow is gonna be an official Lazy Saturday Day of Laziness.

Heres the plan:
7 AM: Wake up, giggle like a girl, turn over and go back to sleep.
1 PM: Surf the Internet (on Laptop thus minimising movements and not having to leave bed)
2 PM: Leave the house for the one and only time of the day. Do football coupon, buy cans of Harp, Pringles, dips and newspaper.
3 PM: Settle down and watch the footie with beer in one hand and coupon in the other. Talk to self uttering words "Ah, this is the life"
4.48 PM: Throw can of Harp at television after Carlisle grab a last minute equalizer against Rochdale thus fcuking up the coupon.
6 PM: Time to make the hard decisions. Chinese or Pizza? Eventually plump for Chinese and Pizza.
8 PM: Make token phonecall to Miss Piggy telling her how much Pighead misses her and how he wishes she was here. Cross fingers so its not really a lie.
9 PM: Throw on DVD, something with a bit of action and a hot bit of totty who you know is going to share her boobs with you approximately half way through the film.
10 PM: Get the secret towel out of the secret cupboard and do the secret handshake with self.
11 PM- Close: Watch footie highlights, crappy Saturday telly, finish off the cans and fall asleep in a drunken satisfied stupor. Another glorious Lazy Saturday Day of Laziness has come to an end.

Pighead: Simple man with simple pleasures. So whats your ideal lazy day my porky friends?

Pighead

Too lazy to reply eh? Pighead likes that. Gives the thread a certain air of authenticity.:cool:

5starpool

My lazy saturdays usually consists of waking up at aboiut 3pm with the help of an alarm clock, turning on telly and watching football til about 5, get up and trawl through the fridge and cupboards for anything palatable to eat, and then about 8pm, go out an play poker til all hours.

Not much variety I admit, but it works for me.

FunkZ

Pighead that day doesn't look half as lazy as my average day. Anyways where are ya going to get the pizza from? I'd say go with Apache 'cause then you can use a voucher and probably end up with two 16 inch Buffulos to yourself! Ham, bacon, pepperoni, chicken and cheese by the truckload. Enjoy!

Will

Set alarm for 7am previous night.
Wake up at 7am, turn off alarm then roll back over with a grin on my face.
Re-awaken anytime between 11am and midday.
Convince my younger brother to bring me breakfast in bed with the promise i buy pizza later. (no intention of sharing)
Eat my coco pops in bed with a mug of coffee afterwards.
Listen to some music and surf the net for an hour or two.
Get out of bed, get dressed around 3pm.
Laze about for 2 hours possibly playing xbox 360.
Order pizza around 6, make sure to order ingredients my brother doesnt like.
6:25 pizza arrives, get brother to get it from delivery guy.
Laugh for 5minutes while my brother throws a fit because i orderd chilli peppers.
Eat pizza myself with a can or even some coke.
Call mate around and just laze about playing xbox and telling him of my fiendish plan that i played on my brother.

By no means perfect but very lazy

prendy

pighead my plan for tommorow is very similar except the beer will be got this evening for maximum chilling and the bets are already on so no leaving the house.

lazy saturdays are the best especially if its cold outside and you crank the heat up.

old boy

pighead thats a lazy day only 1 secret towel use, tis a wonder you did not get lazy half way through

John Mason

exact same as yours with all that football nonesense and phone call to miss piggy cos i dont know her number - can you forward by way of pm?

damn, tis brother birthday tomorrow, will have to send him a birthday wish and then promtely turn phone off so there will be no repeat texting ****e

pid()

Great thread Pighead, and I hope your footie bets worked out for you!

A lazy Saturday for me would be waking up at 11am, picking out a few horses via laptop-in-bed. Placing some bets on said horses online, which reduces the need to go to my local bookies.

Once horse and soccer bets are placed, it's downstairs to my recliner-that-vibrates-and-has-built-in-heating, or Angelica, as I like to call her, while stopping at the fridge for beer, and the cooker for a bowl of Stew.

I'll then proceed to watch all of the racing, followed by sky sports news to see how my football bets went. Once that fun is over it's time to relive the 80s with classic 80s movies such as: Flight of the Navigator, Batteries Not Included, The 'Burbs, Short Circuit, Gremlins, ET, The Goonies, and so on, while drinking a metric fcukton of beer, and going back for thirds and fourths from the pot of Stew.

Once night time hits, If I'm horny-but-not-lazy I'll go to the local niteclub, pick up some bird who's pretending to be using her phone in an attempt to cover up the fact that she is on her own at 2:15am, or else I'll just have a tommy tank and go to sleep. I always repeat this on a Sunday too.

red_ice

my pighead lazy saturday is every odd day for me, infact, thats quite a stresfull day you have there.

My lazy saturday involves going to bed on a friday and waking up on a sunday. It dont get much lazier than that!

oof, that exclamation mark i finished that last sentence with was waaaaay too much effort.. infact, me typing is too much effort, i think ill just stop finishing my se...

Mister Fister

I would love a lazy Saturday but tiz out of the question with the missus and kid moaning at me! but my perfect Saturday's laziness would be similar, wake early, crafty one off the wrist and then back to sleep for couple of hours, then food (preferably fry) then boozer n bookies for the day, top it all off with at least 12 tins dvd pizza and/or Chinese. not being able to do it every Saturday makes it all that more enjoyable when you do get to do it!

Mister Fister

Hey Pighead, you might want to invest in one of these

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23431018-details/The+%C2%A325,000+bed+you+can+live+in+-+and+that+even+stops+you+snoring/article.do