Boyfriend has no trust in me

*Murphy*

we have been together 6 months and for the first few months we has fights bout my behaviour and what i was doing etc. now first of all i would like to point out i have never and would never cheat on him or do anything that would make him have cause for concern. i do however have more male friends then female friends, most of which ive known for 10 + years. its been grand for the past few months untill new years....
he was working in his dads pub for the night, so was unable to do anything, i had planned on goin out with my friends untill one of his friends invited me to a party as it was his gf 30th&he had jus gotten engaged. i wasnt sure about going because i didnt wanna let my friends down but i did in the end as its only 10 mins away from my house and a few of my friends came along. so the night went on blah d blah, then i was in the bathroom and was jus about to leave when i hear my bfs friend&someone else talking, his friend said 'yeah dave made me invite her because he didnt want her out in town, ya know they way she is always with guys'

so basically my bf had forced his friend to invite me so i wouldnt go into town and be a slut basically.
i was so angry as soon as it went midnight i left faking sickness.

i havnt told my bf i heard this. my blood boils everytime i think about it. i havnt seen him since, ive been making up excuses.

advice appriciated.

this is an awful lot longer then it should have been. but im in angry typing mood.

Gyalist

Next!!

Dizzyblonde

This is a very unhealthy relationship - your boyfriend is jealous and controlling. Do you honestly think he'll change?
He won't be happy until you haven't a friend left.

Beruthiel

Male or female, these people have been your friends for 10+ years and they will be there for you through life. If he cannot deal with that then you have to ask why you are with him, because to dump your friends for someone you know only 6 months is madness. Tell him you know what he did and if it happens again there's the door.

Mazeire

It sounds as if your boyfriend and hisfriends have some very outdated attitudes towards male/female relationships. You know the sort, boys can inly be friends with boys and girls with girls and the two only mix for sex. If it was just him, then maybe he could cop on after a period of time but with his friends thinking the same way and his school of thought being reinforced by them its unlikely.
If you want to give it a shot talk to him. Also i'd ask his friend what exactly he meant by "you know how she is around men". Watch the little runt squirm if nothing else.

K_P

If this is how he acts after 6 months, could you imagine how bad he's going to get? Possessive, controlling, ridiculous behaviour. Time to move on.

barbiegirl

Been there, done that. It's hard and I know, but only after he nearly ruined me with his jealousy, I'd no friends left, no confidence. Being friends and having friends no matter there sex, outside the relationship, is very important. It keeps you independent with your own confidants. If he can't accept that you know the answer.
There is only one and I wish I had taken it the first time I saw the jealousy and not 4.5 years later. Dump him. It's very hard but the only way. A leopard doesn't change it's spots.
Trust is the essence and foundation of any good relationship. If he has none, and be honest yours in him is now gone too, after that little show on New Years, so get out.
Sorry I can't tell you anything more positive.

adsgirl

Stop feeling you have to make excuses for not seeing him, if he asks you out again tell him no and the reason why.
He has a major problem with trust issues and the longer you stay with him, the harder it wil lget for you.

gcgirl

I went through that with my ex ! a good friend went through it with her now ex! Dump the sh1t He is not gonna change!

chuci

that is awful as someone else mentioned that is a very outdated attitude to have as regards male and female relationships. if they have been your freinds for 10 yrs they will be around a lot longer than him. tell him what you heard and show him the door

Chasing Cars

Is there any chance that you bf's friend knew you were in the toilet and was just trying to stir crap? Your bf may have 'made' them invite you because he felt guilty about having to work and this 'friend' took it the wrong way.

If that's not the case and it is exactly how you think it is then get rid of him. Its bad enoug that he doesn't trust you to go out by yourself but to actally speak to his friends in such a demeaning manour about you is terrible bf's are meant to stand up for you nd think you are the best thing in the world not the onces putting you down in public or private.

Also don't continue to ignore his calls cause that just makes you look bad be up front with him and when he can't defend himself tell him to f off.

the_syco

*Murphy* wrote: »

i hear my bfs friend&someone else talking, his friend said 'yeah dave made me invite her because he didnt want her out in town, ya know they way she is always with guys'

Jeebus. His friend says something, and he gets lynched.

Did the BF tell you to go there? NO.

You choose to be there. And the BF gets lynched.

Try asking the BF his side, please, before you lynch him?

meditraitor

the_syco wrote: »

Try asking the BF his side, please, before you lynch him?

+1

kermitdfrog

So you were arguing already from the start of the relationship, and things have gotten worse - why are you with him?

Overheal

Man deserves a fair trial by a jury of his girlfriend.

Talliesin

*Murphy* wrote: »

we have been together 6 months and for the first few months we has fights bout my behaviour and what i was doing etc.

Sorry, but why on earth are you with this guy?

Why bother putting up with fights in the first few months?

What was to be gained by it.

Is this like kids in school who feel they have to have a boyfriend or girlfriend to be cool so they hang around with some loser playing at having a relationship?

SarahSassy

When you point one finger at someone else you have to remember that you have 3 fingers pointing back at you....

Has HE a history of cheating? I alwats find the cheaters find it hard to trust anyone else..

His conversations about you to his friends are unacceptable and would be hard for me to forgive. In any case he seems so disillusional he is unlikely to every believe that you say or trust you as you deserve to be.

gcgirl

SarahSassy wrote: »

When you point one finger at someone else you have to remember that you have 3 fingers pointing back at you....

Has HE a history of cheating? I alwats find the cheaters find it hard to trust anyone else..

His conversations about you to his friends are unacceptable and would be hard for me to forgive. In any case he seems so disillusional he is unlikely to every believe that you say or trust you as you deserve to be.

Totally hit the nail with the hammer there !! Cheaters always have problems with trust and thats from experiance!

Toots

Tell ur bf what he heard and see what he has to say for himself.

If ur not happy with the explanation, I'd point him in the direction of dumpsville. In fact I'd probably do that anyway, but it would be interesting to hear his reasons for thinking you'd putting it out around town.

the_syco

*Murphy* wrote: »

bfs friend&someone else

You seem to be seeing cracks where there are none.

*Murphy* wrote: »

i wouldnt go into town and be a slut basically

Your words.

=-=

Ask your other half did he say anything to his mate.

Carrigart Exile

so basically my bf had forced his friend to invite me so i wouldnt go into town and be a slut basically.

OP is this how you normally behave with guys, by being a slut? If it is, then its perhaps your boyfriend that needs to get rid.

If I have misunderstood the post I am sorry.

Jack B. Badd

Carrigart Exile wrote: »

so basically my bf had forced his friend to invite me so i wouldnt go into town and be a slut basically.

OP is this how you normally behave with guys, by being a slut?

I got the impression that it's not about the OP being a slut but about her boyfriend's opinion of her behaviour as being "sluttish", i.e. having loads of male friends.
OP, does your boyfriend actually have a problem with you having more male friends than female? Your opening post implies that he does but I might be reading it wrong.

In any case, what either of you are doing in a relationship where the first few months involves fights about your behaviour is beyond me. Get rid, I'd say, for both your sakes. You two sound very incompatible. Oh, and I'd be royally pissed if I found out that my boyfriend was encouraging me to do something when he had an ulterior motive, i.e. attempting to control my environment so he could control my behaviour :mad: