My Ex

Loki1983

My ex broke up with me last June....yes last June. We went out for over 4 years and it was perfect for two years but went a bit pear shaped after that. About 2/3 months after we broke up I found out she started going out with a guy who she lived with and who I was paranoid about. He was going out with a girl for a couple of years and dumped her for my ex.

Anyway, I thought I was getting on with my life. Am quite a good looking, good job prospects, sound guy and have been with a nice few girls since. (None of the girls I have been with though have interested me in a girlfriend sense.) But lately I can't stop thinking about her. Everyday she occupies my thoughts. I've started finding it hard to sleep and I'm so hurt she's with someone else (I know she's moved on - get over it). I saw her for only the second time since we broke up at Christmas and my knees nearly buckled. I still think she's so beautiful and obviously I love her still.

I don't want anyone to think she's the bad person in all this because in hindsight the reasons for the breakup were more my fault than hers and I didn't put a any effort into us in awhile.

I don't even know what advice I'm looking for. I'm just lonely and miss her so much. I miss being able to ring her. The whole meeting up and just watching a DVD. The messing around etc... There's a film on BBC at the mo called A Lot Like Love - nearly killed me when I flicked it on just because we saw it at the cinema together.

Ishindar

Loki1983 wrote: »

I'm so hurt she's with someone else. I saw her for only the second time since we broke up at Christmas and my knees nearly buckled. I still think she's so beautiful and obviously I love her still.

in hindsight the reasons for the breakup were more my fault than hers and I didn't put a any effort into us in awhile
There's a film on BBC at the mo called A Lot Like Love - nearly killed me when I flicked it on just because we saw it at the cinema together.

maybe a bit of meloncoly here and envy, hardly true love since u didnt bother your arse. sorry, but if really love someone u make them the centre of your universe.

dublad23

Ishindar - No need to be so dismissive!

Perhaps, he got too cosy in the relationship and forgot about giving her his all - It happens.

I don't know what to say though, she seems to have moved on and is happy with someone else. You could try talking to her but I'm sure that would be difficult for both of ye and may just hurt you more. Rejection can be hard to take.

The pain does go away believe me and you will find someone else as good as her, if not better. Perhaps you are comparing girls you now date to her.

Give them a chance, they might surprise you!

Start 2008 again, a fresh out look and I hope you will soon be happy again.

Good Luck Mate

RSHC

I think talking to her while initially may help you, will in the long term just hurt you more as it won't take the feeling of wanting her away and you'll be left hoping, wishing she would come back to you.....

As dublad said have a fresh beginning now in 2008, keep yourself busy, have fun with friends and you will fine someone who you will love.....

Good Luck!

UnitedIrishman

I had this problem until just recently and it's a bitch. You want desperately to get back with her and yet at the same time, the reality is that she could hurt you again.

All I needed was one of her friends to give me a bit of advice and tell me that I was better off without her. I can tell you now that she'll probably never leave your mind given that you were with her for such a length of time but you will eventually realise that the pain disappears.

How Strange

From a woman's perspective I'd say this is a typical example of what happens after abreak-up. The girl deals with it immediately then moves on. The guy doesn't and then when he sees that she has met someone else goes to pieces and convinces himself he loves her.

OP, you are going through the breakup stage now and all those feelings you describe are what most people go through straight after the split. Were you out drinking and catching up with your mates for the first few months of being single? She probably cried for two weeks.

Is there also a territorial thing going on here? You didn't want her while you had her but now she's with a guy you didn't trust? So now you are grunting and beating your chest.

Move on. You said the relationship wasn't good for the last two years so what you are fantasising about? You are hurt that she has moved on so quickly. That is a natural enough emotion but recognise it for what it is and don't start trying to ressurrect a dead relationship because your primal male pride has been wounded.

niceoneted

When I broke up with my last serious boyfriend I had him on my mind all the time, wanted him back but knew it was the wrong thing (he had done the dirt in a bad way). After a while i realised that it was not him that I missed at all but having a relationship with someone - the intimacy and the sharing of things.
I have been in and out of short term relationships since and enjoyed most of them but am still looking for someone special.
Anyway just to say it takes time but you will get over it. As I said it may be a case that you miss the relationship as opposed to her herself.
Good luck.

alphapa

hey mate! im in the exact suitation! dont even know how i stumbled across this board bit mad! but every reply uve got here is prob right in its own way! and ur better off not talking to her its alot easier to move on out of sight outta mind etc! eventually ull meet a girl thats g/f material! been goin thru a few trying to find that myself!