Ruining My Life

LegacyUser

Hi,
Im a 30 y/o single male, my own place with a good job. Over last couple of years a lot of close friends have moved away or are well settled down. I've managed to get a rep as a pisshead and if I am really drunk I can be a complete wan*er who will do or say anything. I get completely pissed about 10% of the time I go drinking but that is too much. Over the Chrimbo I went out a few times but only got really rat arsed once after an all night session wr I never went to bed and acted like a dickhead. On top of this, as most of my close friends aren't around so much I tend to go out some lads I know well but we always end up doing all night sessions which always leads to illegal substances which depresses me as within certain circles I am getting a rep as a coke head. Some of my old close friends are aware of this and dont tend to contact me as much.
What I really need advice on is how I can progress my life,if I keep going the way I am I will be a lonely old (possibly drunk) man. I'd love to meet a nice girl and settle down. I am contemplating giving up drinking all together due to what it sometimes leads me to do and its effect on my health, but I am very scared of doing this cos I am not sure if people will accept me or if I would be able to socialise with females, having said I have been drinking for 13 years and had a few relationships but I am still single. I like the idea of maybe drinking only when I go away on weekends etc as these are always good and hassle free but maybe a completely sober approach to life is required? Any advice.
Cocerned & Worried.

Just take it on moderation and sort your priority's out.

Sleepy

It sounds like you know the answer to your problems OP. Lay off the sauce and knock the coke on the head - it turns everyone into assholes, not just you. Try spending more time with your close friends. If they're living elsewhere why not visit them for the weekend instead of blowing your cash down the pub?

Rev Hellfire

If you're concerned about your reputation then address it by stopping the actions which are leading to it. In your case perhaps taking a break from drink for a period of time might be in order and perhaps socializing with a different group of friends. Its that simple.

r3nu4l

Have a look at this forum. When they get some events up and running, join them on a night out. If you can make some new friends there do so.

At one time in my life I used drink to drown my sorrows. I still drink now, less than once a week but back then it was all the time and lots of booze. I did stupid things, acted like a nut and lost some friends due to my behaviour. As has been said, the only person who can stop this is you. Develop some willpower, if you go out for a night, aim to leave before pub closing, don't go back to anyone else's house. Go home and watch a DVD or something. Stop snorting coke, drink a lot less. Simple as.

Beruthiel

PissHead wrote: »

Hi,
I'd love to meet a nice girl and settle down.

Well that's probably not going to happen until you stop doing coke, an expensive, addictive drug which turns most people into selfish assholes.
Knock it on the head now.
You've said your good friends don't get in contact so much now that you're doing this, that tells you a lot. They are not interested in watching you take the road to no where. They probably miss the nice guy they used to know.
You know what must be done, drop the crap that's stopping you from growing as a person. Moderation in all things.
As sleepy said, go visit your friends for a weekend, they liked you before you went off the deepend.

I am very scared of doing this cos I am not sure if people will accept me or if I would be able to socialise with females

You've allowed the drink and drugs to become a crutch and have lost the confidence in your abilities without it. It will come back with time.
After all, do you really want to be with people who do not accept you for yourself?
Can you honestly say that being accepted while being out of it is the only way to go?

davyjose

PissHead wrote: »

Hi,
I like the idea of maybe drinking only when I go away on weekends etc as these are always good and hassle free

I think that's a very good idea. It also gives you the chance to look forward to some well deserved pints, and there won't be the sense of absolute finality with total abstinence, which in the end would probably break down.

I might try this one myself

How Strange

OP, you know what you have to do. Lay off the coke; no matter what you may think its seriously not cool to hoover that sh1t up your nose and it makes people complete ignorant, arrogant assholes. Lay off the alcohol for a while too.

Why not see Jan as the month to clean yourself up and out. Get fit and healthy, improve your diet, do things that don't revolve around alcohol and coke. It may mean you won't see much of this group of friends but that mightn't be a bad thing.

Two weeks into a healthy regime I bet you will feel the benefits. Don't go spending your money on joining a gym, use a local authority one. Go for a jog in the park or by the beach.

By the end of Jan you will feel like a completely different person and your old friends might notice that about you and recognise the person they used to know.

LegacyUser

Hi,

OP here, you are all right & thanks.

I'm going to spend Jan working, gym, playing guitar,eating properly & getting myself together.In the first 6 months of '08 I have a few w/ends away with the lads & couple of weddings, I am determined to restrict my drinking to these occassions. Hopefully by that stage it will have become a complete lifestyle change.

As for the other muck I am going to avoid all situations and people that may lead me to get involved (though at end of day they dont force me its up to me i the end)

Thanks again
Happy New Year