Hiv

LegacyUser

Im worried about a friend of mine (a guy). Hes been with a girl, one of my friends as well actually, for 3 years. They have been having unprotected sex for all of this time. She has just been diagnosed with HIV. Obviously he needs to get tested but he has convinced himself there is no point. My question is, is it possible that he could be clear? What are the chances of that after that time frame? I know this isnt a medical board but Im not asking for medical advice and nothing changes by me asking. Id just like to know if hes in with a chance because I dont know whether to tell him it might be ok or not.

kraggy

After 3 years in the relationship, he needs to get tested. Even if the relationship has only been for a week, he needs to get tested.

It is possible that he's negative but I would say unlikely. However, only a test can tell.

He needs to get tested. Simple as.

And if worst comes to the worst, he'll need counselling but I think the STI clinic will provide information on contacts for this.

I hope he goes and that he proves negative.

Best of luck.

speaktofrank

My heart goes out to both your friends. How did she figure it out after three years? Maybe it was your friend who transmitted it to her?
I hope your friend tests negative but I don't hold out much hope. If it's any consolation HIV is not the death sentence it once was. However I am sure that's the last thing your friend wants to hear.

What a way to start the new year though, really puts all my so called problems into perspective.

biko

Sorry to hear this. Get tested.
It's harder to transmit from woman to man, IIRC, but 3 years is a long time.

Btw, if he tests positive it'll be difficult/impossible to verify who had it originally.

Carrigart Exile

You're friend needs to find out. There have been several successful prosecutions of people who have knowingly infected someone with HIV, its important therefore that your friend knows if they have it for management of any future relationships.

Lux23

He needs to get tested so he get treated right away, HIV isn't the death sentence it once was and he can look forward to a long life even father children if he really wants without the worry of infecting a partner with the help of a fertilty clinic. If he buries his head in the sand he could end very sick.

dudara

He really should get tested as soon as possible. HIV is very treatable these days, so it is not the major issue that it used to be. However, he will be irresponsible not to get tested. If he has sexual intercourse with other women in the future, he may well infect them too (if he is infected, but does not get tested).

Contact a private clinic or a public clinic (lots are listed in the sticky at the top of this forum) to arrange some tests.

r3nu4l

Yes, it is possible to live for a long time with HIV.
Yes, it is treatable to some extent.

These are all positives but I really don't like the vibe of complacency I'm getting here. HIV still significantly shortens the lives of those who are infected. It also vastly reduces the quality of life for sufferers.

Your friend needs to get tested. Offer to go with him, talk to his gf about it and see if she can help convince him. The earlier HIV is diagnosed the better as treatments can be managed and tailored to keep viral loads low. If he leaves it for years then he risks becoming very, very ill.

Lux23

r3nu4l wrote: »

Yes, it is possible to live for a long time with HIV.
Yes, it is treatable to some extent.

These are all positives but I really don't like the vibe of complacency I'm getting here. HIV still significantly shortens the lives of those who are infected. It also vastly reduces the quality of life for sufferers.

We know all that but who knows whats around the corner, the quality of life for people with HIV has improved an awful lot in 20 years in another 10 it could be just another chronic illness or even a curable one.

nice1franko

Doesn't look too good according to this but there's still a chance he might be ok:

If your heterosexual partner is HIV-positive ... If you don't use a condom, your odds are 1 in 500 of contracting the virus. Your odds
increase, depending on how frequently you have sex with your partner... If you don't use a condom for 500 times having sexual intercourse, your odds are 2 in 3.

- http://answer.google.com/answers/threadview?id=73514

Treatment has got so good these days though that an HIV infected person can still expect to live a long and healthy life.

ztoical

r3nu4l wrote: »

Yes, it is possible to live for a long time with HIV.
Yes, it is treatable to some extent.

These are all positives but I really don't like the vibe of complacency I'm getting here. HIV still significantly shortens the lives of those who are infected. It also vastly reduces the quality of life for sufferers.

Your friend needs to get tested. Offer to go with him, talk to his gf about it and see if she can help convince him. The earlier HIV is diagnosed the better as treatments can be managed and tailored to keep viral loads low. If he leaves it for years then he risks becoming very, very ill.

thank you I was going to make the same comment - Yes HIV is treatable and people can live productive lives but the ones that are doing well are usually very disciplined about their treatment. The complexity of the current drug regimens is though and alot find it hard to adhere to it. Also a high number of people find the current cocktail treatment doesn't work for reasons such as medication intolerance/side effects or infection with a drug-resistant strain of HIV

it takes time to match the correct drug treatment as there are different strains of HIV and its not just about medication but also lifestyle, what you eat/drink etc....the sooner your friend knows the sooner he can start finding the correct treatment

Marksie

Without a doubt get a test done.
The earlier the diagnosis the better the treatment regimen and so the length of time that the individual can live for.
As r3nu4l it is about viral load.

If diagnosis is avoided/ delayed significantly it WILL have a detrimental effect.

20 years may seem like a long time but it isnt and that is drastically reduced if you do nothing about it.

Do not assume that "something" is waiting around the corner. Know for sure and not before he starts falling sick.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your replies. I suppose I knew all this already but you do hear of people who have miracle escapes and maybe thats what I was waiting to hear. The story behind it is that he had protected sex with all but one long term girlfriend. She had a fling a few months before she met him and recently heard a rumour that this flingee was positive. She explained everything to the boyfriend and suggested she get tested first. I think they are both in shock/denial at this stage and not really dealing with it. I just dont know what to say to him cos the natural instinct is to comfort but you dont want to be talking cr*p either and saying it might be ok if its not. Actually he had a heap of chest infections last year, is that coincidence? These kind of things wouldnt kick in so early would they?

dudara

OP, we can't and won't speculate. Your friend will need to seek medical advice at this stage to know for certain.

Look through the sticky for clinics and pass the information on.

Bottle_of_Smoke

We can say what we want about treatability but the fear of HIV is the stigma & not the disease itself. I can completely understand why he's saying there's no point. Of course he needs treatment asap but if you were in his shoes how enthusiastic would you be about life?

There's not much you can do here. At least he has his girlfriend in the same position as him. The best thing you can do is treat him as normally as possible

Bottle_of_Smoke

nice1franko wrote: »

Doesn't look too good according to this but there's still a chance he might be ok:

If your heterosexual partner is HIV-positive ... If you don't use a condom, your odds are 1 in 500 of contracting the virus. Your odds
increase, depending on how frequently you have sex with your partner... If you don't use a condom for 500 times having sexual intercourse, your odds are 2 in 3.

- http://answer.google.com/answers/threadview?id=73514

This link is a bit horse-sh*t esque, it contains the following statements

If your heterosexual partner is HIV-positive, you have a much greater
chance of contracting AIDS after having sex.

Best means of safely continuing the activity: Use at least one condom
at all times.

Don't want the thread to focus on this but seeing as the op is asking for a reliable source on what he can tell his friend

dr_manhattan

OP, what your mate is doing is effectively diagnosing *himself* with HIV... without a test.

He has to admit that's pretty insane, no?

Would he trust your opinion? So why (unless he's a doctor) is he trusting his own?

MIN2511

Had to really comment on this, OP it's not the end of the worlld. Sometimes HIV is better than cancer because it is manageable, your male friend as everyone has said should get himself checked!

You could book an appointment and take him there, he might be too scared to go by himself. He's in denial and needs genuine friends like you to support him. As i said it's not the end of the world!

Son_of_Belial

Um... OK, time to get him to a clinic anyhow. There may be a small chance he's negative, but still he'd be better off knowing. If he's negative, advise him to stay away from her! If he won't then... well he's on his own.