People think I'm gay!

LegacyUser

Every once in a while, not that often, maybe once or twice a year, I get talking to girls who after a while I realise that they think I'm gay! Many months ago a really cute girl came up to me and started talking and then pointed out a guy and asked if I thought he was cute! I replied that I'm not gay, she was really embarrassed, but said that because of my hairstyle, glasses and shirt, not many straight guys make such an effort. I'm quite a good looking guy, nothing spectacular, but I make an effort to dress welll and look well groomed. I wear kind of unusual, funky glasses and I'm not afraid to wear pink shirts or a fashionable skarf etc - I can get away with it. Anway she said "You should take it as a complimtent" and really I do - I don't see any point in getting upset about it.

I was out this weekend, started talking to this absolutely stunning girl. Beautiful, stylish, Classy, seriosuly hot. She was pretty drunk, as was I, and we started flirting. She told me she thought I was gorgeous and wanted a big hug, gave me a kiss on the cheek, so I turned and kissed her on the lips. Later she told me she had a boyfriend who was traveling overseas and said no when I asked for her number. I wasn't bothered as on and off throughout the night we'd have a little kiss and get very close on the dancefloor, I was happy with that, wasn't going to bother chasing any further. However, towards the end she asks me "Do you have a boyfriend" - I just laughed and said I'm not gay, and that was it. We hung out some more, had another few kisses and I said goodbye and went home.

However when I told my friends the story they were shocked, saying "Oh My God what a F**king B!tch!" Now here's the thing. She definitely was one of the super hot and probably super stuck up and bitchy kind of girls - I was more than happy to have her hanging off me in the club for the night, but not the type of girl I would want a relationship with - so maybe she was just being a bitch, or maybe she thought I was gay or bi or something. I wasn't really that concerned. However all my friends didn't take it so lightly and could not believe I was so blazè about it.

I know I am not a very manly, masculine type of guy. I sometimes wear pink shirts and some kinda crazy clothes and stuff - so it's not exacly a huge surprise that this happens from time to time. What do you think? Should I take it as a compliment or is it a concern.

Your thought please....


(oh and before you say it, no I'm definitely not gay, I'm 100% straight and I've never had any doubts about my hetrosexuality)

Colonel_McCoy

You know the solution .......change the clothes and glasses!

biko

It does not seem to bother you so why change anything? It's only a concern if you can't get women because they think you're gay.
Except for the pink shirts of course, pink only look good on baby girls imo.

Jack Vegas

Do you have any problems getting girls in general?

If not then I don't see why you'd want to bother changing yourself.

KTRIC

Do a little test, drop the pink shirts and camp glasses for a night and see what happens ?

LegacyUser

Unreg654654 wrote: »

I'm not afraid to wear pink shirts or a fashionable skarf etc - I can get away with it.

Are you getting away with it? Don't people think you're gay?

jhegarty

Unreg654654 wrote: »

I'm not afraid to wear pink shirts or a fashionable skarf etc - I can get away with it

I think the rest of your post would show that you don't get away with it.... sorry but Pink shirt is enough for lots of people....

Cheeky_gal

TBH dude, fair enough wearing pink shirts and well groomed hair etc. but SCARVES!?!

I suppose at the end of the day though it's whatever floats your boat. You may not be gay but my God you seem shallow! Admitting that the girl you were hanging around with all night was some sorta stuck up D4 bitch but yet that didn't bother you for some reason...thats reeeeally odd! :rolleyes:

cowzerp

Unreg654654 wrote: »

but I make an effort to dress welll and look well groomed. I wear kind of unusual, funky glasses and I'm not afraid to wear pink shirts or a fashionable skarf etc - I can get away with it.

You can get away with it because people think your gay and dress like a stereotypical gay, why do you think you can get away with it? obvious really!

Dr.Louis

its actually quite funny... of all the gay people i know, not a single one of them has a 'pink shirt', nor would be caught dead in one...

J.S. Pill

One of my friends let it slip over christmas that he thought I was gay for a while. Why? I asked him. Because I wear nice clothes, work out and sometimes listen to pop music he said.

Incisive piece of analysis

I think a lot of people have been watching way too much Will and Grace and base their assumptions on overblown stereotypes

Idbatterim

I got that last week when I was out in the local, you go up to a girl, well dressed and just chat to them, not hit on them. Anyway was chatting away to them for ages, they were great girls... After a while one of them asks me whether she can ask me a question, I say shoot, she says are you gay! I turn around to one of my best mates who gets this fairly frequently and just tell the girls to repeat the question! We all cracked up! Were both as staright as anybody! In fairness if your going to a place (dressed very well) with a younger crowd, id say anything under 22 at the least, most of the girls are still going through the knacker phase, your wasting your time!

lostexpectation

been there but not becuase of my fashion sense

but please fashionable scarfs!, you gotta be kidding, if your really cold you were a scarf otherwise don't
no gel in hair or highlights I hope.... try not to be so trendy

davyjose

You've got the perfect attitude OP, your friends need to chill out TBH.

davyjose

lostexpectation wrote: »

but please fashionable scarfs!, you gotta be kidding, if your really cold you were a scarf otherwise don't
no gel in hair or highlights I hope.... try not to be so trendy

Why not? Let the man do whatever the hell he wants. We're all supposed to look and dress the same now are we. The OP seems like a well-grounded individual and as long as its not getting him down too much, then what difference does it make.
It's judgemental people that are the problem here - not the OP

lostexpectation

what he wearing obviously isn't working for him, trying to trendy isn't working for him, I believe he isn't wearing anything unique but following fads and wearing useless bits of clothes.... he should try to be more unique not less as he is now.

davyjose

lostexpectation wrote: »

what he wearing obviously isn't working for him, trying to trendy isn't working for him, I believe he isn't wearing anything unique but following fads and wearing useless bits of clothes.... he should try to be more unique not less as he is now.

Ah, point taken

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

There have been a few times in my life where people thought I was gay too! The first time it happened was when I went to secondary school. I went to a school were there was alot of lads with that real broad Dublin accent but I always had what I call the "nuetral" Dublin accent. So because I didn't "tauuukkkk loike dat" I was somehow gay!

I have got it from girls too on a couple of occasions over the years. I don't dress like you, I would be more casual so I don't think its because of that. I am really not sure why. I guess if you don't come accross as the alpha male character your somehow gay!

Strange!

AngryBadger

davyjose wrote: »

You've got the perfect attitude OP, your friends need to chill out TBH.

+1

ntlbell

I'll probably get banned...I hope not.

Just from reading you post you seem gay I mean wtf

"I'm quite a good looking guy, nothing spectacular, but I make an effort to dress welll and look well groomed. I wear kind of unusual, funky glasses and I'm not afraid to wear pink shirts or a fashionable skarf etc - I can get away with it."

"fashionable skarf" the only thing gayer than that would be 'stylish neckerchief' come on man!!

What next? I'm comfortable wearing womens undies and am partial to baking fairy cakes.

Dude, you sound gay. Maybe your not, have you many brothers? do they act like this?

Buy a football jersey lose the glasses and start having a few pints and roaring at the TV for a few months....

LegacyUser

ntlbell wrote: »

I'll probably get banned...I hope not.

Just from reading you post you seem gay I mean wtf

"I'm quite a good looking guy, nothing spectacular, but I make an effort to dress welll and look well groomed. I wear kind of unusual, funky glasses and I'm not afraid to wear pink shirts or a fashionable skarf etc - I can get away with it."

"fashionable skarf" the only thing gayer than that would be 'stylish neckerchief' come on man!!

What next? I'm comfortable wearing womens undies and am partial to baking fairy cakes.

Dude, you sound gay. Maybe your not, have you many brothers? do they act like this?

Buy a football jersey lose the glasses and start having a few pints and roaring at the TV for a few months....

Jaysus, you sound like some of the shower of boyos I went to school with!!! Admittedly the scarf thing is a bit much. But I do see alot of the D4 heads wearing them.

Just because a guy isn't wearing a Celtic top, cheap blue jeans and a pair of white runners and talking like he is selling fruit on Moore St doesn't make him gay!!

Beruthiel

ntlbell wrote: »

Just from reading you post you seem gay I mean wtf

"fashionable skarf" the only thing gayer than that would be 'stylish neckerchief' come on man!!

What next? I'm comfortable wearing womens undies and am partial to baking fairy cakes.

Buy a football jersey lose the glasses and start having a few pints and roaring at the TV for a few months....

ntlbell
Would you kindly not bother posting in this forum until you can actually post something helpful instead of that throw back, neanderthal crap above.
B

ntlbell

Beruthiel wrote: »

ntlbell
Would you kindly not bother posting in this forum until you can actually post something helpful instead of that throw back, neanderthal crap above.
B

Sorry,

OP you sound perfectly normal and ignore everyone assuming you're gay, there's obviously something wrong with THEM and not you.

But just a few of my hip tips for the winter season.

Try maybe different shades of pink, possibly darker ones?

If you choose to wear a nice little number with a stylish neckerchief, wear it to the side.

You could swap out the funky glasses for something a bit more Austin Powers like giving the illusion you're SeXY BaBY YeaH!!! (In a manly heroic way not a gay one)

If you're in the pub and a really good joke goes down, don't clap your hands together and make noises like a seal.

When picking a drink most neanderthal's are on Bud and Cider, but don't go down the martini route try something in between, like Tia-maria and milk if you can get away it or play it safe with a carlsberg.

If you're having a conversation with a girl and it starts to go down the handbag/makeup/hair route try and switch to car racing using the HOT pit girls this also gives you a chance to impress her with what you drive, like your smart car or whatever.

Whatever happens if anytime during the night you're becoming unsure, spit, or adjust your town halls which should curb all doubts.

PM me if you need anymore

LegacyUser

ntlbell wrote: »

or adjust your town halls...

that made me LOL for real.

anyways, OP, if it bothers you then you can conform to more traditional male atire and behaviour.
If you're going to continue along the same lines then expect a person on occasion to assume you're gay. Because being fashionable, or even just a bit quirky can irk some people. so it's really up to yourself.

KTRIC

ntlbell wrote: »

Sorry,

OP you sound perfectly normal and ignore everyone assuming you're gay, there's obviously something wrong with THEM and not you.

But just a few of my hip tips for the winter season.

Try maybe different shades of pink, possibly darker ones?

If you choose to wear a nice little number with a stylish neckerchief, wear it to the side.

You could swap out the funky glasses for something a bit more Austin Powers like giving the illusion you're SeXY BaBY YeaH!!! (In a manly heroic way not a gay one)

If you're in the pub and a really good joke goes down, don't clap your hands together and make noises like a seal.

When picking a drink most neanderthal's are on Bud and Cider, but don't go down the martini route try something in between, like Tia-maria and milk if you can get away it or play it safe with a carlsberg.

If you're having a conversation with a girl and it starts to go down the handbag/makeup/hair route try and switch to car racing using the HOT pit girls this also gives you a chance to impress her with what you drive, like your smart car or whatever.

Whatever happens if anytime during the night you're becoming unsure, spit, or adjust your town halls which should curb all doubts.

PM me if you need anymore

Some good advice there. I strongly recommend that the OP takes a wander over to the "Beer Guts & Receding Hair" forum and the lads will help you out with being a "proper" man

Vegeta

Is it even possible to look gay??

I know a few lads I went to school/college with who are gay and it was very easy to tell. Always suspected it from day one. Purely down to personality though, none of them look gay.

Are you sure its your appearance and not your behaviour that leads people to believe you're gay?

Either way you can still pull the ladies so big deal if a few think you're gay. Nothing to worry about tbh.

Movershaker

I think you should just be yourself and tell your friends to pipe down to be honest. If people thought you were gay because of your mannerisms and the way you talk and gesticulate and so on that would be a different story. But if it's just because of your appearance then so what!

I'm a girl and I actually generally seem to go for guys like how you describe yourself. My male (and some of my female) friends slag me because I go for "gay" guys, but I'm really attracted to guys who dress a bit funky and like to look good, because I like to look good myself! I don't want to be one of those girls who is embarrassed by her boyfriends unstylish threads and has to gradually overhaul his wardrobe without him noticing! I do draw the line at excessive self-maintenance though, like fake tan, eyebrow plucking etc. That is totally gay imo. Each to their own and all that though, once you're happy don't worry about it.

Talliesin

Unreg654654 wrote: »

Anway she said "You should take it as a complimtent" and really I do - I don't see any point in getting upset about it.

Unreg654654 wrote: »

I wasn't bothered

Unreg654654 wrote: »

I was happy with that

Unreg654654 wrote: »

We hung out some more, had another few kisses and I said goodbye and went home.

Unreg654654 wrote: »

I was more than happy

Unreg654654 wrote: »

I wasn't really that concerned.

Sorry, what's the issue, exactly?

ntlbell wrote: »

"fashionable skarf" the only thing gayer than that would be 'stylish neckerchief' come on man!!

Still, I am unlike the OP in two significant ways:

Firstly, I only wear a scarf if it's very cold, and I can find it. I wouldn't even know if it's fashionable or not. The only way I have a greater affinity to scarves is that I spell them correctly.

Secondly, I'm quite partial to cock.

Am I the only one that finds the second factor a greater indication of sexual orientation than the first?

KTRIC

Talliesin wrote:

I'm quite partial to cock.

Possibly the best quote of 2008 so far

SprostonGreen

OP I know you havent suggested this but dont change to suit other people.

The way you describe yourself reminds me of Russell Brand; stylish and different to Rockport/Celtic jersey masses.

Overheal

You can be straight and still do things like cross-dress and all that. Seen and heard of it many a time. Not my thing but it seems to make them feel good. Wouldn't even kiss guys in drag either - they spend their time seducing lesbians

I wouldn't worry about it OP it just sounds like you have a lot of confidence about going to extremes. That said you may have more luck with lesbian and bisexual girls :rolleyes:

I get accused of being gay for keeping my hair neat and talking properly... and because she was a self-centred ***** that couldnt understand i wasn't interested in her but thats another story

DirkVoodoo

You surely must have some doubt in your head if you are posting here.

You say you are confident in yourself, or typed it at least. But the fact remains that you made a concious decision to go to the trouble of posting on the PI forum...so somewhere, some little voice is asking questions.

I listen to crappy pop music, as well as the usual greats. I wore a hairband when my hair was long (see attached bebo profile) and I sometimes wear a scarf. I wouldn't wear a pink shirt though, but I know I'm not gay and that's all that matters. If that's the same for you, which it does seem to be (bar the asking questions in the first place) then why worry???

That girl in the club did seem like a total pricktease to be honest and was probably just messing with your head.

Requiem4adream

What's with all the scarf-hating? You dont have to be gay or from D4 to wear a scarf out.

Anyway, OP you're projecting an image of yourself through your actions and appearance that you dont mean to be projecting. If you want to project the right image of yourself it need not involve wholesale changes. It's safe to assume you own more than 1 shirt/t-shirt and they're not all pink? Make some subtle appearance changes in the future, see if they have the desired effect.

For what it's worth, in my experience, pink shirts are worn more by chavs and straight guys trying to show off a good upper body, i think you're image-projection is more deep rooted than just appearances and dress sense.

DirkVoodoo

Not wanting to go OT, but I have always found that pink shirts are worn by guys who already have a very high colour, increasing their apparent redness and making them look like they are about to suffer a coronary.

I think we should all agree to stay away from the pink shirts in general!

KTRIC

DirkVoodoo wrote: »

Not wanting to go OT, but I have always found that pink shirts are worn by guys who already have a very high colour, increasing their apparent redness and making them look like they are about to suffer a coronary.

I think we should all agree to stay away from the pink shirts in general!

I have to agree with this. Irish guys shouldn't wear pink shirts full stop. Our skin is way too pink as it is and just highlights the pinkness even more.

They do look good on tanned or naturally darker skinned people though.

MattKid

OP I wouldn't worry in fact see it as a positive, you can get away with murder (not literally) with girls who presume you're gay, they will give you a chance to get to know them and them you without just turning you away instantly because then assume you aren't hitting on them. Make use of that to flirt and make a connection and then bring up the being completely straight bit in conversation and all is well.

I've been asked if I was gay many times and I go out in T shirt, Jeans, combat boots and I have a shaved head, and no I don't have a feminine looking face. So don't worry too much about clothing.

People's presumptions say more about them than you.

Overheal

wait a minute - i know gay people. They dont wear pink. What a stereotype.

Rainbow striped mittens however....