Respecting the inane in the workplace...

dr_manhattan

"I'm convinced I'm dumber now than I was before I started the job as all the talk revolves around diets/food/more food/more diets/weight/celebrities/their kids."

This comes from another thread in this forum (double standard in the workplace) and (partly due to remembered annoyance, partly due to the same reason i've spent my entire xmas posting here - I'm laid up for the christmas, ahem...) this really did make me think of a lot of co-worker stories, and just about how polluted with stupidity working life has become...

So here's a question I'm curious about:

Is it a bad thing for me to lose respect for a woman - or indeed a man - who spends all their time discussing celebrities, their diet (both theirs and the celebrity's), and soap operas?

Is it expecting too much from people, to not have them talk about soap characters and celebs like they know them or are their friends? To listen to them speculate about their parties and outfits and children as if they are related?

All day, every day, no variation in subject matter?

I mean it *is* pathetic right? Or should I lower my standards to theirs, and respect their choices as valid?

I mean as a slightly compulsive fan of "stuff", I do know stupid trivia about people i've never met who are in shows I like. I dig that garbage. I just don't allow someone else (like hello magazine) to tell me who i'm interested in, and I don' t pick 2 shows and 10 people and.... *try and copy them*...?

And this is another point: I will always discuss dumb ****. Pop culture, tv shows, movies, anything - it is seriously not as if I'm requesting that people launch into a thesis on dostoevsky whenever we speak.

I'm just looking for:

1. Evidence that their entire conversation wasn't planted in their heads by a journalist from 'hello'
2. A willingness to talk about a new subject without wrinkling of the nose and "well I only read chat magazine"
3. A recognition that independent thought is a positive thing
4. The opportunity to at least get a word in edgeways and *find out* if any of the stuff that interests me is interesting to anyone else, despite not being a collage of babies, diets and famous people.

But it's just a fixation with the same 10 or 20 people over and over, and it's about their babies, their diet, or their new mansion. Who did the scattercushions? Who supplied the linen... hell, this information is offensively boring *enough* if it's YOUR own personal info... when it's not it just becomes wierd...

So I get to a point where I conclude that people who read chat magazines are just stupid.

I *used* to think they were just bored: but I mean, what's the difference - when every time you see them they launch into some useless crap about peter andre's kitchen set - bored, boring, stupid? What's the difference, really, when they're so damned lazy in their minds?

This may sound old school, but I recall a time when people took pride in their minds and the intellectual level of their conversation: especially women. Women would be embarassed to talk about nothing but babies, kitchens and celebs... They enjoyed painting a picture of themselves as hardworking equals, uninterested in retarded fluffy crap.

But hell, I recall lots of things from "my generation" - funnily enough not everyone sat around going:

"I can't wait to pull the highest mortgage i can get, move into some slapdash shiny legoland hole somewhere near one of dublin's ringroads, and then start pretending that prefabricated kitchens and tracker mortgages are great, creative ideas for my life that i've had for myself. While I'm picking my door colour from a selection of 8 colours and my car from a selection of 5 i can afford, I'll slowly start deluding myself that these are choices i've made, not things that have been forced on me through no other option being available. I can then start picking my favourite celebs "to follow"... eventually I'll turn to shrieking about my kids because they're the only thing in my life that didn't come from a set of 6 options in woodie's DIY"

Ahem, rant over... answers on a postcard please...?

Ciaran500

Was sure this was AH o_O

dr_manhattan

"Was sure this was AH"

eh? sorry i'm very bored ;-)

FlutterinBantam

You seem to be a very angry person Dr. or someone who thinks he is intellectually superior to his work colleagues.

I would deduce there is a big age difference between you any the rest of the workforce.

You want to discuss World politics,The Pakistani situation,whether or not the ECB will cut interest rates, and they want to talk about, Bebo profiles,Colleen McLoughlin's fashion tips,Kerry Katonas latest boob job, any banal fcukin mind blowingly chavvy reality show currently on.

They wouldn't know where the fcuk Pakistan was, other than there's a Pakistani take away near them.

My advice is to ride with the flow,ignore them, and try to elevate yourself above that mass of mental sludge.

You can beat them if you don't join them.

dr_manhattan

"You seem to be a very angry person Dr."

Not about this particular issue, I'm just bored and have been laid up with some broken bones for the xmas, lol.

"or someone who thinks he is intellectually superior to his work colleagues."

Actually these problems don't exist in my current job, these are from previous ones - it was actually the other thread brought it flooding back. Hell, one job I worked in, I pitched in when we moved office: one woman had three bagged up stacks of chat magazines under her desk that were so large I was sure they were big PSUs or UPS modules... nothing else could be that heavy.

But as I said above: this is not about intellectual superiority, this is about diversity. I am more than prepared to talk crap, I just cannot suffer the same crap every day.

There are people I've worked with who I have *only* talked to about babies - because they actually will not talk about anything else. That's moronic, imho: even babies find babies boring after a while...

"I would deduce there is a big age difference between you any the rest of the workforce."

Again, no: but now I think of it, the only people I've worked with who were younger than me by more than 5 years... they hated it more than I did.

That's just two people.

To be honest, if it was people younger than me I'd put it down to a generation gap but that's why it bugs me: these are my age, these are (i think) intelligent people with skillsets... *that's* why It's wierd. If they were young, or from another country, or whatever... then it would just be one o them thar cultural differences.

It's not, really.

"You want to discuss World politics,The Pakistani situation,whether or not the ECB will cut interest rates,"

Well - though I can - that's not what troubles me. I'm not someone who wants "real" conversation. I'll talk about silly **** no problem: but then when the conversation is over... gasp: I'll find a new subject the next time! Because when I discuss the same **** every single day eventually I will lose track of what day it is... "what day is it? oh it's babies and MFI day! again!"

Because that's also a major point: when I'm in work I actually like to work, not talk ****. There's breaks for talking ****... know what I mean?

It's just that wierd situation when you work late at work, and as you're leaving you notice that all the machines in the studio are either running screensavers with pictures of babies on them, or screensavers with pictures of george clooney on them... you start to lose respect for people, start to think of them as having empty heads...

"My advice is to ride with the flow,ignore them, and try to elevate yourself above that mass of mental sludge"

Done and done. I've also moved to a small studio in a specialised area, so there's just the few of us and - believe me - i interviewed them as much as they did me.

But it's not advice I'm looking for - I'm wondering what peoples' opinions are: is it aloof and intellectual of me to hate this ****, or does it drive anyone else up the wall?

"You can beat them if you don't join them"

The only kind of "beating" ever catches my fancy with thse people is the kind dished out in Guantanamo Bay... lol... and how on earth can I join them without a ****ing lobotomy ;-)

Aaaaanyways more ranting, I think that equality thread made me need to spew up hatred ;-)

Nevyn

Please learn to use the [noparse]

X wrote:

blah

[/noparse] tags your posts are very hard to understand other wise.

dr_manhattan

Do you find it hard to read books, when there's dialogue?

FlutterinBantam

[QUOTE=dr_manhattan;5475572

But it's not advice I'm looking for - I'm wondering what peoples' opinions are: is it aloof and intellectual of me to hate this ****, or does it drive anyone else up the wall?

[/QUOTE]


Wouldn't think so,I hate it equally vehemently.

But I don't let it get to me.

Clytus

Jaysus DR...where do you work??....a hairdressers???

FlutterinBantam

Call Centre probably;)

tech77

You ask if it's ok to be "aloof and intellectual" about this. Christ i'd much prefer to be intellectual than fcuking stupid. Since when did intellectual become a dirty word. Aloof, meaning emotionally remote, might be a bit harder to defend but still.. is pretending to be interested (emotional dishonesty if you will) much better? Just TRY to be nice I suppose.

Rev Hellfire

If I'm reading this right the key point for dr_manhattan is "All day, every day, no variation in subject matter?".

I'd be inclined to agree that certainly the same topics rehashed daily (when you have no interest in the subject) can become a tad dulling.

But it's not to be unexpected really. When you're dealing groupings of people in situations like the work place where people really have little in common bar work and the chances are you wouldn't socialise with the majority of them given the choice; then interaction between parties is going to be naturally stinted and automatic as people simply go through the motions.

Anyway did you see your womans wedding in Hello wasn't she only bleeding gorgeous...

dr_manhattan

LMAO, no I don't work in call centres - though one of the jobs I mentioned very much resembled one ;-)

These stories are all from web/digital design studios, or in-house details.

I have to say though, every single person I've bitched about here had one thing in common: very strong connections to the civil service, nuff said ;-)

Nothing against civil servants either: I know quite a few who are seriously competent people; But they tell me stories very like these all the time. I have to say the civil servant sector seems to be filled with petulant flakes who spend half their time masturbating in the workplace and then flip out when they're asked to hit a target.

Unfair? perhaps ;-)

But like I say, I'm just bitching about old times.

I mean in the workplace, this **** doesn't get to me at all - except the sexual harassment thing, that really frightened me, I thought I was gonna get in deep trouble for no reason.

But when you're laid up with a broken arm and someone reminds you of all that pointless crap... well, that's what internet posting boards are for eh? Bile management services for bitter middle youth like meself LOL

dr_manhattan

"Anyway did you see your womans wedding in Hello wasn't she only bleeding gorgeous..."

Her left boob was bigger than her right boob though... oooooh did she get some surgery done?

;-)

And as has been mentioned: YES my only problem with this is the monotony. I good off at work all the time, everyone does. But I manage my own targets and I make an effort to not repeat the same subject matter again and again.

Tbh, my real point is: "i've tried *hard* to talk about babies and paris hilton, I really have. I'd just like to either talk about something else, or not talk"

ixoy

Do you not find it equally boring when (nearly universally) guys talk about football constantly and the various tactics they would've employed last night, the cost of player x, and the relative merits of goal a in minute b?
That's what often seems the sole topic of daily conversation at tables that I've sat at and it's surely no more intellectually stimulating than the travails of the put-upon soap star.

dr_manhattan

"Do you not find it equally boring when (nearly universally) guys talk about football constantly and the various tactics they would've employed last night, the cost of player x, and the relative merits of goal a in minute b?"

Absolutely - good point. I really, really can't underline how boring this **** is to me: I don't play nor do I take interest in sport. I also hate the way that guys' voices change when they collectively discuss sport, and you have these total dorks talking like they're millwall supporters, talking about "we" and "us" and "the cup".

Everyone becomes "ron manager"

But again, like with the babies and the soap stars: I'll give it a shot. I have a few football stories and I know how the game works so yeah... if it's the topic, it's the topic.

I mean, I realise most people like to talk about this ****, and that's fine.

But day in, day out... hell I think I'd prefer to discuss paris hilton.

Sleepy

dr manhattan, couldn't agree with you more. Football I don't really mind but I lose interest after 15 minutes, ditto Rugby / GAA / Whatever sport Ireland have done modestly at this week and the celebrity stuff drives me nuts (I detest the notion of people being famous rather than renowned) too.

I don't think it's that most people are stupid (the worst offender for the celebrity stuff in my office is one of the smartest girls I've ever met), they're just dull.

WindSock

Did you ever try to talk to any of them about something different/more interesting? If you do, you may be pleasantly surprised to find they have a brain. When you are in a group in an office doing a boring job, the easiest thing to talk about, is nothing.

Archeron

Very funny that I stumbled on this thread today. I was literally 10 minutes in the door this morning, when all I heard was :

"(deep inhalation of breath)......and then I went up to the sale and I got that top thats like your top, but its a different color, and it wasnt on sale, but I had to buy it anyway, and then I decided I didnt like it and when I brought it back, the bitch in the shop wouldnt give my money back, only store credit and I tell you thats the last time I shop there, how dare she, this is the same girl I had the problem with before, I swear if that wasnt the only shop that had that blouse, I would never have even gone there, but sure what can you do? I got that recipe for a mirangue by the way, and I made one yesterday but it didnt turn out the same as it did in the magazine, so I think I might have to use more sugar, oh and did I text you on new years eve? I dont know because the network went down, so I think i'll send another message to everyone in my address book to say I dont know if I did text you or not, but happy new year anyway, or would that sound a bit sad, no I wont bother, but that blouse, I brought it back, but I took a picture of it to show you, here its on my mobile, what shade of yellow would you call this...." And so it continues, and almost 4 hours later, it hasnt stopped. (I dont even know if she has taken a second breath yet, or if she's still powering away on the first one).

Who the hell is thinking about mirangues and blouse exchange policies at ten past eight on the first morning back to work after Christmas?
I have on occasion tried to steer a conversation, or begin a new one about a subject that is outside the OP's fine Hello based examples, but everytime, I get either a blank look that would make a manniquin look intense, or a blatant response along the lines of "only nerds talk about politics/art/history/architecture/etc and we arent interested"
Now my best friend in work is a sock puppet. At least HE doesnt talk about Kerry Catonas latest blouse inspirations. Yet.

Oh, and as an edit. I'm not up my own backside at all in what I like to talk about, and Simpsons references and fart jokes can be a large part of conversation, depending of course on who I'm talking to. Just please Lord help me drown out the inane chatter about the same sh*te every day....

dr_manhattan

"I have on occasion tried to steer a conversation, or begin a new one about a subject that is outside the OP's fine Hello based examples, but everytime, I get either a blank look that would make a manniquin look intense..."

Yep, THIS is my problem - not so much their conversation, but how f**king rude they are about mine.

I would never dream of pulling that kind of hostile crap with a colleague, it's just incredibly rude.

McGinty

Hi

I agree with you that the same innane chatter day after day can be very boring and limiting. However, I realise through life experience that there are some people who love to talk about the same thing, be it celebs, soaps, diets, their children, etc and they look upon anyone who talks of anything else as weird or from planet zod, dr_manhattan I have scared so many men with my talk, I realise different strokes for different strokes, now I love intellectual stimulation, although am woeful about current affairs, and I like reality tv sometimes just to dumb the ole head down too, it has its place. On the whole though I scare people when I really start talking and I have since realised that there are many types of conversationalists, and you like the varied type, don't dumb down, but don't try and make others smarter when they have no interest, just chat with likeminded people

Doctor DooM

It sometimes seems to me that the majority of people really are sheep, who buy what they are told, listen to what they are told, and watch what they are told.

I could think of several people in my life who seem caught up in an eternal race for the next big acquirement: A car, A husband, a house, a holiday abroad somewhere "exotic": now its children...

I think these people are actually kind of empty, and keep doing what they are told will make them feel better in the vain hope it will.

Then again, I could just be a stand offish git.

Archeron

I've just overheard that next Friday here is officially "baby photo and wedding photo album day" so everybody has to bring in their baby photos to coo and cah at them and their wedding photos to show what they looked like on their big day.

Never has there been a better reason to ring in sick. Never thought I'd say it, but I really wish my bosses were here more often.

dr_manhattan

"I've just overheard that next Friday here is officially "baby photo and wedding photo album day"

Oh my god you poor bastard, seriously.

As I mentioned before, this isn't an issue for me these days: it's just myself and my boss in close collaboration or maybe a contractor or two in for a day, and then just client meetings.

Everytime I think "hell, don't meet many people through my job" I just think back and thank the lord.

Actually my boss is on holidays too, so I'm just by myself: I'm probably being 50 times as productive for that reason, as my tired, cranky new year's brain would be too easily distracted otherwise...

Commiserations. If I'm reading about an employee workplace massacre on saturday I'll think of you... lol

McGinty

I've just overheard that next Friday here is officially "baby photo and wedding photo album day" so everybody has to bring in their baby photos to coo and cah at them and their wedding photos to show what they looked like on their big day. Never has there been a better reason to ring in sick. Never thought I'd say it, but I really wish my bosses were here more often.

Oh my God how sickening, and to be honest insulting, what about people who can't have kids, or those who are divorced and to be honest the home life should not be brought in to the workplace to that degree. I hate all that crap of bringing in pictures and cooing.

stovelid

If I worked there, I'd leave.

Imagine being faced on one side with all the baby/mortgage stuff and on the other: the infinitely worse prospect of listening to the OP's bitter drivel.

AngryHippie

Job I work at requires 8 hours a day sitting beside someone, no music, no tv, no computer no phone, no distractions at all. Depending on who I'm rostered to work with, I know how much I'm gonna say during the day. Luckily enough three quarters of the people I work with are sound, and will talk about anything that comes up with a respectable degree of intelligence and sense. But when I see the others on the rota, I genuinely dread the day, cos I know they're gonna be talkin drivel while I sit there wondering exactly just how retarded they are. Sometimes I get lucky and they've been on holiday and I might get an hour or so of sense before the shoes/celebrity/soap/mortgage/baby conversations start, then I just switch off and wait for them to shut the hell up. I know its a pig-ignorant thing to do, but I'd rather their akward silence than listening to that cod-****:D

Bottle_of_Smoke

Dr Manhatten know exactly how you feel. I'm one of the youngest in the office. This is the main reason I'm getting my ass back to college next year.

Worst is when you try to make real conversation & you're labelled the weird guy/

Ever get when someone great starts who you actually can discuss stuff with, then they leave. Worst feeling ever.

Archeron

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Ever get when someone great starts who you actually can discuss stuff with, then they leave. Worst feeling ever.

Yes, its terrible. When I started here, there was one person like that, and I thought, well at least X is here to talk to and keep me sane. Then they left after me being here 6 months leaving me in a bottomless pit of bullplop and dribble. Ah well, the job search continues.

Funnily enough, my father told me last week that he heard an article on the radio that said 80% (or something like that) of people who moved job last year said they moved because of their co-workers, not the money or conditions. If thats the case, its obviously a very serious issue, AND it makes me feel better because it means I'm not just being paranoid or pretentious.

nlgbbbblth

I can relate to inane and mindless chatter in the workplace.

My work colleagues have the following views on music, reading material, televison and politics.

Music - strictly Top 40. anything else is weird / obscure. rarely buy music, if they do chances are it'll be a greatest hits / best of as opposed to a studio album.

Reading material - celebrity magazines, tabloids, dumbed-down fiction

Television - reality shows, nothing edgy or inventive. Archive television is dismissed as old-fashioned and boring. Don't get Seinfeld. BBC2 and BBC4 are too highbrow. Never heard of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Arrested Development, The Thick Of It, Nathan Barley etc etc

Politics - not into it. Glazed eyes, vague statements. An ignorance of world news. Any viewpoints are largely derived from tabloids and are usually bland generalisations, full of inaccurate stereotypes and sometimes border on the hysterical.

As someone pointed out above - it does seem that intellectual is a dirty word.

milod

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

Music - strictly Top 40. anything else is weird / obscure. rarely buy music, if they do chances are it'll be a greatest hits / best of as opposed to a studio album.

Reading material - celebrity magazines, tabloids, dumbed-down fiction

Television - reality shows, nothing edgy or inventive. Archive television is dismissed as old-fashioned and boring. Don't get Seinfeld. BBC2 and BBC4 are too highbrow. Never heard of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Arrested Development, The Thick Of It, Nathan Barley etc etc

Politics - not into it. Glazed eyes, vague statements. An ignorance of world news. Any viewpoints are largely derived from tabloids and are usually bland generalisations, full of inaccurate stereotypes and sometimes border on the hysterical.

I can really relate to that - though funnily enough not in the workplace - I'm fortunate enough to work with an intelligent and philosophical bunch of 30's IT grads - maybe a total fluke, or maybe a hiring policy.

My own issues are around social events I seem to be dragged along to by family members, both mine and g/f's!

I too have had the glazed "did you eat a beedin' dictionary for breakfast?"' response to some conversational gambits... so I've abandoned politeness and now resort to: "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you think, shall we revert to inane-chatter?"