I don't know what to do

LegacyUser

I'm with my boyf for nearly 4 years hes 9 years older,i love him i really do but i feel tied down. i'm 22 i've never been out new years eve or anything like that in fact when my friends ask me to go out i have to say no because my boyf says i get too drunk or he doesn feel like it.
So now i've stopped drinking totally i dont smoke either. i just feel like my life has become so boring and i've lost all my friends. even with him we argue all the time never have sex and he gets into humors where he jus tells me to get the **** out of his house. i'm sick of it i've put on about a stone so now even if we were to break up i dont think anyone else would fancy me
I just dont know what to do i even had to move home from college cos he didnt like it now i face travelling for 2 hours every day on a bus just to please him

Sleepy

Leave him.

Move back to college.

A little extra weight won't put most guys off and if it bothers you that much, spend some of your newly found free time in a gym / by joining a sports team in college etc.

tritium

OP, if the relationship is as bad as you indicate it is then you'd be better off out of it. You say you have stopped drinking, moved back from college just to keep him happy - that sounds scarily controlling on his part to be honest, and not likely to be something you'll be happy with in the long term. If you're just basically doing what he wants then things are unlikely to get better, since you'll only resent the loss of independence. The choices are simple, go talk this through, preferably with the help of a counsellor and work on a more balanced relationship based on both your needs, or walk away from it completely and find someone who respects your wants

spinandscribble

you've choosen your life. there are kids out there who have their lifes forced upon them with no chance of going to college or even improve their life. you have so many choices. dump him and move back to college. you're the only one who can do whats best for you. just do it.

BeardyGit

Out with the old, in with the new.

Get out there and enjoy your life, instead of being dragged and bossed around by the bully. Spring clean this arsehole right out of your life for the new year. You're obviously longing for a life he's denying you, so get rid of him.

Don't worry about the extra few pounds, that's nothing I'm sure - But if you see sense and dump him, don't start smoking (again?), that'll put most lads off when a few pounds would never be noticed.

Take heart, and take action.



Gil

Esel

jushatemylife wrote: »

...i love him i really do ... we argue all the time never have sex and he gets into humors where he jus tells me to get the **** out of his house. ....now i face travelling for 2 hours every day on a bus just to please him

Sounds like he has major issues. He doesn't trust you, and is controlling you.

If you do love him and want to rebuild your relationship, tell him straight up how you feel, and give him a chance to get his act together by getting counselling or whatever. If he tells you to "get the **** out of his house" again, that's your answer.

Toots

New year - new start. Finish things with this guy, and start focusing on making yourself happy. Don't worry about the bit of weight, it will fall off you when you get yourself out and about socialising. Start going out with friends, have a few drinks (but stay off the smokes:D)

Definitely move back to college tho, it'll make it so much easier to get out and about as there's bound to be a much better social scene there. Don't stay with this guy who makes you miserable, you deserve much better.

Miss Fluff

He is a complete and utter control freak.

jushatemylife wrote: »

i'm sick of it i've put on about a stone so now even if we were to break up i dont think anyone else would fancy me

Never heard of the break-up diet? You'll have a stone off (and more) within weeks. Go and get your hair done, treat yourself to some new clothes and start building bridges with your old friends. Today. Do it now. Don't waste your twenties (as well as your late teens) on a complete loser.

gcgirl

Yes the break up diet ! i am a walking statement! your only young once so go live your life and move up to your college i know what it's like to live with a control freak he use to check my sms ect! your better getting out of that relationship! and good luck

otwb

This guy should be supporting you in college - not making your life a misery. You should be experiencing new things and essentially growing up over these few years. Either he accepts this or you need to get out for your own good. TBH sounds like he wants you to stay the same (and under his thumb) for as long as it suits him.

Get out of there. Move closer to college and have a great time.

(+1 for the break-up diet!!!!!!:p)