Dont know how...

LegacyUser

I don’t know how I am going to get a girlfriend.
Soon to be 21 male, I play football and do a course in university which the student pop of the course is all lads.

I will head out to a club have about 3 or 4 drinks never get drunk, go out on the dance floor and have a laugh but will never go out and try to get with someone.

I never get with anyone because I don’t want to be left looking like a fool. I wish I could get over it but no matter how much I push myself I never do. Like in other aspects of my life I have pushed myself but not in this way. I cant just go up to random girl and start talking to her but if they make the first move I can but will not go in for the kill I will wait for her to make the first move.

I sometimes think I am a very shallow person. I judge women by their looks, I wont want anything to do with a girl if she is not good-looking but that is only when meting new people on social nights, I guess loads of people are like that when they are not interested in someone. Like I want a good looking girl but one who isn’t fake (ie girls like the ones in the sunblock videos) basically a classy girl posh if you will but yet doesn’t hide her face under layers make up.

After all that I still find myself having high standards. Sometimes I think I am good looking then other times I think im ugly but guess everyone is like that. Like im an average Irish guy but don’t think im great craic to be around. I would classify myself as a thinker like for instance I always think before I speak, when there is setting of a dark street when its raining I love nothing more just to look around and just think I also have a very strong emotion to music.

I never show emotion in real life even though I feel it I will never show it. Think that is down to my Dad who does the same, like I think its to show to people that I am strong by not show any type of emotion. Think that’s why I don’t want to go ‘in for the kill’ so if it goes wrong I will look weak.

I can be some what of a bebo stalker like if I see a girl I like and I know one of her friends I will look her up and have a look at her profile every so often just to see what she is at. Then I will find myself getting bored of the girl.

Also I find that I will be all up for a night out with the lads the night before but once it comes close to time for me to head out I have lost all the feeling to go out and hook up but think that is down to me getting scared.

SUMMARY:
Find it hard to get with women, don’t really enjoy nights out and get scared when it comes down to me getting with someone.

Thanks for reading.


Also: Just thought i'd let you know that this is my 2nd time doing this 1st time round it was over 700 words, it was all over the place and didnt make much sense.

Colonel_McCoy

You need to lean back and relax. Dont go out with attitude whereby you are judging the women you meet as a potential gf. When you stop looking thats when you will meet her.

star-pants

Annoyingly enough Colonel_McCoy is right- when you stop looking that's when things start to happen. I've not been looking for months (cuz I wasn't in the place) and I had a few offers (not being vain!!) but I wasn't in the mindset/interested. When you try too hard, you're limiting yourself too much.
A nice girl might come along and slip into your life - not necessarily in the way you think (club etc) plus looking for pretty girls only- not all of them will be compatible. And that's all you'll know - is the pretty, not the personality - which might be crap.

You need to relax as said above, try and go out without intention of finding a gf.

biko

Try to be less shallow. Focus on other things.
Try online dating?

white_falcon

nightclubs are ****e. worst place to meet someone. iv never gotten off with anyone in a nightclub except for the ones you regret the next morning cuz u were sh1tfaced the night before

you're trying to meet women in the wrong place. most people i have gone out with iv known a bit beforehand. im not saying thats good, but i prefer it. i really dont see how ur supposed to get off with someone or go out with them by just looking at em in a nightclub then walking over and lobbin the gob

nightclubs are like cattlemart. the women dance in the middle and the lads all stand round the outside checking out which ones the like...

PLUS...when you don't care about it it happens most of the time. So stop caring and go out to have a laugh.

on a side note, when i did used to go to nightclubs i found that getting totally rat-arsed so that you can't even see your own hands used to get me a girl lol....not the best advice tho...