So now I know where I stand...

Fabio

Or do I?

You see, I have a friend, a very good friend (let's call her "X") and we can talk about anything to each other. We've often discussed, but not in great depth, how it could be if we took the final step and became a couple.

Anyway, X came to see methe other day and we went around doing shopping, all for her. To be expected I guess, it's Xmas and she's a girl (of course!).
She lives about 20 miles from me and we don't see each other too often and our few hours together in town eneded as I had to leave for work. She had ordered something while shopping and asked if I could collect it the next day for her and she would then call to me and bring it home. I said ok, no probs and the next day during my break at work I went to collect the items.

I got in touch with X and said hey why not, when you come to collect them, I'll treat you by bringing you to see a film... She said ok and that she would come down the day after I collected the items so that she coyuld get those and come see a film with me.

However on the day she was meant to come down she said that she wouldn't be able to as she was going out with some friends back in her home town. Not only was she now going to leave me saddled with the items she was meant to collect from me but she rescinded on an invitation from me that she had initially accepted.

I don't expect her to say yes to everything or to go my way all of the time but on this occasion I thought I could take her word. I hadn't seen her in ages and no doubt won't see her again for weeks or months and yet she decided to reject mne in favour of friends that she see's probably every second day.

I just feel like I was used and simply taken advantage of by someone who claims to be my friend. I said it to her and she just respnded by saying I'm a drama queen!

Am I over-reacting or do I have reason to feel that little bit angry?

LegacyUser

You gave an inch and she took a mile to be honest...

You can't be a pushover...your a human being...you wouldn't let a guy do it to you...so why a girl???

PeakOutput

Fabio wrote: »

I'm a drama queen!

thats what it seems to me

Am I over-reacting?

if this is an isolated incident then ye you are

Fabio

Tis an isolated incident only cos we don't get to see each other too often...

Thanks for the replies lads, it's nice to get a bit of feedback.

I think I may be a bit too much of a pushover alright when it comes to her. I really really love her as she's a great friend but in recent months things haven't been the same. She began college and had a boyfriend and there never seemed any time for talking to me. That's changed a little recently so we'll see how it goes I suppose.

Then again maybe my softly softly approach ain't working.

j0e

in all fairness it looks like u where her plan b, and something better came along so she went with that, id say be careful

MagicMarker

That's a bit ****ty, but nothing to dwell on OP. Forget about it.

What i would say is don't hold out for this girl and don't treat her any better than you would a normal friend. As in, don't do any special favours, just because you have feelings for her.

John_flood73

to be honest it does not sound like something worth giving a lot of thought to & your probably been a little over sensitive. this time of year most people would prefer to hit a bar with friends than head for a film with just the one friend. head out with your own mates and hook up with her again in the new year

ApeXaviour

j0e wrote: »

in all fairness it looks like u where her plan b, and something better came along so she went with that, id say be careful

Agreed...

Fabio wrote: »

You see, I have a friend, a very good friend (let's call her "X") and we can talk about anything to each other. We've often discussed, but not in great depth, how it could be if we took the final step and became a couple.

You appear to be in a cuddle bítch / intellectual whore trap that she's skillfully (if not entirely consciously) crafted around you. I hope you enjoy not being able to tell up from down, cos that's what will happen.

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/

event

if you didnt fancy her, would you fell like this?

perhaps you saw it as a date whereas she just saw it as the cinema, no biggie to her.

make it more clear next time or get over it

AARRRGH

If she was a he, would you be reacting like this?

It sounds like you want something more than friendship tbh.

Wibbs

MagicMarker wrote: »

What i would say is don't hold out for this girl and don't treat her any better than you would a normal friend. As in, don't do any special favours, just because you have feelings for her.

Agreed and you will probably find when you stop extending special favours to her, she'll respond better.

Fabio

While I do kinda fancy her alright, I know that the liklihood is that it will not happen and so I don't dwell on that at all. It was just the fact that she barely see's me and yet picked friends she would see everyday anyway over me, who she see's maybe twice every 3 months. That was when I said to myself "well, some friend you are..."

The cinema thing was meant to be just as friends by the way even though it may not have read like that.

I suppose as long as I am aware of the situation then it wil be harder for me to be caught out next time.