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A Few Jokes

  • 21-12-2007 12:34am
    #1
    rocky25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭


    What do you do with 365 used condoms?



    Make them into a tire and call it a good year.
    A teenager takes a seat on a bench next to a middle aged man reading a newspaper. After a few minutes the man looks over and stares intentively on the youth's multicolored mowhawk. The teenager looks over at the man and says "What's the matter old man, never done anything interesting in your life?"

    The man responeded with "I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot, I was just wondering if you were my son."
    Did you hear that Michael Jackson is selling his amusement park? Now that it's over 15 years old, it doesn't interest him!
    A man comes home from work one day and tells his wife that he just bought a pack of olympic condoms. His wife asks which ones should they try first and he replies "we'll try the silver medal condom first ok?" and she says "yes thats fine, atleast that means this time you WONT COME FIRST!!"
    Two Scotsmen were discussing how far each could make a dime reach. They agreed to try it and meet a few days later to see who won.



    The first guy bought a cigar, and smoked one-third the first day and saved the ashes. He smoked one-third the second day and saved the ashes. He smoked one-third the third day and again saved the ashes. On the fourth day he gave the ashes to his wife to use as fertilizer on her roses. He told the other guy, "I know you can't beat that for stretching a dime."



    The other Scotsman said, "I got you beat. I bought a Polish sausage for a dime, and the first day I ate one-half, and on the second day I ate the other half. The third day I used the skin for a condom, and the fourth day I took a **** in the skin and sewed it back up. The fifth day I took it back to the butcher and told him it smelled like ****. He agreed with me and gave me my dime back."


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