Inter-denominational marriage

LegacyUser

I know that this ought to be in the Weddings forum, but I wanted to go unregistered, as this is not something I want people finding out about until we make a decision ourselves. So please move it if necessary.

I'm Protestant (Church of Ireland) and my boyfriend is Catholic. We were thinking about maybe getting married, more for practical reasons than anything else (not as callous as it sounds, trust me! We're a team for life, marriage or not). If we do, and even though it wouldn't be a Big Irish Wedding (don't have the money, don't want the stress), we're both reasonably religious and would want it to be in a church, probably mine.

Is this a problem these days? How difficult is it to organise an inter-denominational wedding? Does the Catholic church still have a problem with it, officially or on a parish level? I'd love to hear from anyone who's done this, and clearly can't discuss it with family or friends without it all becoming a big deal.

Thanks.

Mr. Incognito

Why don't you just ring the church and ask THEM

El Stuntman

it's easy, easier if you get married in a CoI church but you can also do it in a RC church without too many problems (me and Mrs Stuntman managed it!)

there is a bit of form gathering to do but no big deal

niceoneted

My sister (Catholic) married her Husband (Protestant) in 1996. They got married in a Catholic Church and there was no problem what so ever. THey really didn't have to do any extra. He did have to say that the children would be raised catholic but that was it from what I can remember. Good luck with it.

El Stuntman

niceoneted wrote: »

He did have to say that the children would be raised catholic but that was it from what I can remember. Good luck with it.

hmmm, we didn't have to say anything of the sort (2004), maybe things have changed or else the local priest didn't care!

rs

As far as I know generally the Catholic Church is fine with people getting married provided they have both been baptized as a Christian. There might be a few more questions asked and a bit more document hunting, but you should be fine. Your priest has the final decision on a lot of the paperwork. I had not done my confirmation which you are supposed to do but our priest was fine with that and did not make me do it before the wedding.

It's only when one member of the couple if of a different faith (hindu, muslim, etc) that the church won't allow you get get married in an actual church. (They will give you a blessing though, just not inside the church itself). They are still pretty strict on that policy I believe.

hot fuss

I (RC) got married to my hubby (COI) in June in my local church and there wasn't any hassle at all at all.. The Church of Ireland are more accepting though so if you're thinking of going down that route, I would. We just chose not to have an actual 'mass' because then my husband's family wouldn't have been able to take communion. Instead we just had the actual marriage ceremony and it was lovely...

We had a Catholic priest and a Church of Ireland Minister as celebrants.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your replies, it's good to hear that it's not difficult - from people who've done it rather from leaflets and websites!

So the Catholic partner doesn't necessarily have to promise to baptise and raise the children as Catholics?

Seth Brundle

My sister married a fella from India (the two of them live in USA). They are (as far as we can tell) quite happily married for the last 9 years.

They got married in India in a Hindu celebration and then had an Irish wedding here. The celebration here involved a blessing Mass in our local Catholic church (which was for all intents and purposes a wedding Mass).

AFAIK its up to the local PP to decide if an inter-demoninational wedding can be held in his Church but there were absolutely no difficulties for my sis (apart from the fact that the priest was either pissed or stoned on the day of the wedding but this made for a really funny mass!).

Best of luck with it all.

hot fuss

questions123 wrote: »

Thanks for your replies, it's good to hear that it's not difficult - from people who've done it rather from leaflets and websites!

So the Catholic partner doesn't necessarily have to promise to baptise and raise the children as Catholics?

I didn't have to do that anyway. There was something alright that we both signed in advance saying that we would (this is just along the lines of it because I can't remember it exactly), "try to bring up our children in a Christian faith to the best of our ability".. it was something nice and vague anyway but we definitely didn't have to promise to bring our kids up as Catholics because that was something i didn't want to have to agree to.

Seth Brundle

hot fuss wrote: »

"try to bring up our children in a Christian faith to the best of our ability".. it was something nice and vague anyway

"That would be an ecumenical matter!"

Dizzyblonde

Friends of ours had a mixed ceremony years ago and it was beautiful. She's C of I, he's Catholic, so they had the ceremony in her church with a Catholic priest participating. It was the nicest wedding mass I've ever attended.
She's always been quite involved in her church and he's a lay-backer so their children were christened in the Church of Ireland.
There's no hassle about mixed marriages these days.