Missing my ex, thinking of giving her a call.

LegacyUser

Ok broke up with my ex girlfriend back about the end of September, we had kinda just run our course and I called it cause I seen the relationship heading towards a bad place. We where living together but I’d moved out till December as we weren’t getting along. Haven’t seen her in about two weeks and the last time we seen each other she was sad, but explained that she just didn’t love me anymore and she’d met someone else, which I was kind of ok with as I’d met someone else too, which didn’t work out. Now I hear that she’s not actually with the new guy anymore and I dunno my heads wrecked. It’s actually 2 years to the day since we got together and I’m kinda down about it. Part of me wants to just give her a shout see how she is.

I know if we get back together It’ll all probably just go to **** again but I just haven’t met anyone else like her. When I seen her first my heart skipped a beat. No one else has had that effect on me. While I know that I’m probably just setting myself up for a fall I really want to see her and I really want to see if there’s any kind of resolution we could work out.

I'm torn between wanting her back and wanting to start over again.

Fanny Cradock

Expunge that number from your mind and your phone!

MagicMarker

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

Expunge that number from your mind and your phone!

+1

OP: save yourself the heartache and move on.

Overheal

cut the rope its holding you down and youre gonna fall off the cliff look a condor is about to attack you you have no choice cut the rope AAGAGAGAGAH.

Its a metaphor let her go theres other things in life to worry about.

l3LoWnA

Did I misread or did you say you split up only a few months ago and in the same breath you say you haven't meet anyone like her since?

Three words...

Give. It. Time.

Please don't act on your impulses right now. It's the week that's in it. I've recently started texting an ex (don't know why but I've a feeling it's something to do with Christmas and being alone, I don't even or didn't even have feelings for him - now I've ruined everything by confusing myself slightly and by definately messing his head up again, it's not fair on him and I was selfish to even think of getting in contact again just because I'm lonely and have teenchy little regrets, even though I know I was right to end it - in September also)

Leave it until after the Christmas period and if you feel the same way, THEN think about getting in touch, of course send her a happy christmas text on cristmas day if you want, but don't think about getting back with her just because you're alone, honestly, give it a little more time.

WhiteWashMan

At the moment I would suggest you are missing *somebody*, and not specificaly your ex.
Don't make the mistake of mixing up the need to be with someone with the need to be with your ex.

It's that comfortable position that people miss most when a relationship breaks up, and it's why so many couples get back together for all the wrong reasons. I've done it a few times. The reason you split up is still there. It hasn't gone away.

Besides, she appears to have moved on. So should you.

Cathmandooo

Agreed with all other posters, delete her number immediately! You're only feeling lonely, you said yourself if you got back together with her it would probably go down the tubes! How do you expect to find someone new in 3 months?? Even if you go a few years without meeting 'the one' its still no reason to go back to your ex!

Your heart is naturally gonna skip a beat when you see her, she's your ex, you loved her once, as did she. My heart still skips a beat when I bump into an ex, it's always a bit awkward. Doesnt mean I'm still in love with them.

Avoid contacting her at all costs, give it time.

Wibbs

WhiteWashMan wrote: »

At the moment I would suggest you are missing *somebody*, and not specificaly your ex.
Don't make the mistake of mixing up the need to be with someone with the need to be with your ex.

Nail on the head.

It's that comfortable position that people miss most when a relationship breaks up, and it's why so many couples get back together for all the wrong reasons. I've done it a few times. The reason you split up is still there. It hasn't gone away.

The only way two people can get back together and make it last, is if the original reason for the split is gone or can be worked on and both are willing to try again. That's it. End of.

Move on.

Aura

Wibbs wrote: »

Nail on the head.
The only way two people can get back together and make it last, is if the original reason for the split is gone or can be worked on and both are willing to try again. That's it. End of.

Move on.

You both have to want to. It doesn't take just one, as heartbreaking as that can be, to make this happen.

It's ****, I know.

Keep busy and good luck,


A.

Gandalf23

I agree with the previous posts.

It will probably be one of the biggest mistakes of your life if you contact her again. Things didnt work out for a reason, and you will only be postponing the day when your heart is broken again. DO NOT contact her again.

Good luck with everything ...

Aura

Just wondering OP if you think if she was still harbouring feelings for you that she would take steps to let you know...
It'd be awful to think you were both feeling the same way and neither was brave enough to admit it. Is she the type to wear her heart on her sleeve?

So hard to know when to let things go if you do still have feelings for them but try and think what would make her happier too and not just about missing her. Sometimes it's nobler to let people go despite what your heart says.

Feel for ya and hope things happen for you as they are meant to.

A.

LegacyUser

Hang in there dude. I just broke up with my boyfriend last week, worse situation ever, he had moved away to work and didnt think he could handle a long distance relationship, despite still being mad about me. so I deleted his number and have decided to move on.....there is nothing you can do if its not a mutual thing...:(

Wibbs

Aura wrote: »

Just wondering OP if you think if she was still harbouring feelings for you that she would take steps to let you know...
It'd be awful to think you were both feeling the same way and neither was brave enough to admit it. Is she the type to wear her heart on her sleeve?

Which is all very well and I would agree with you in differing circumstances, but I suspect the OP is just hankering after her because his new relationship didn't work out. He's in two minds about it, which is not a good start either. Although it would be less healthy to be still crazy about her at this stage it would be a better foundation for him finding out. Plus the OP seems to think the original reason they split is still there and it would all go to shít again anyway.

So hard to know when to let things go if you do still have feelings for them but try and think what would make her happier too and not just about missing her. Sometimes it's nobler to let people go despite what your heart says.

That I agree with alright.

Feel for ya and hope things happen for you as they are meant to.

And if they are they will I have found, sometimes even years later.

lonelyatxmas wrote:

he had moved away to work and didnt think he could handle a long distance relationship, despite still being mad about me.

Well you maybe can take some comfort from the fact that if he had been that "mad about" you, the long distance could and would have been worked around. I know a couple that were apart for 3 years due to distance(different countries) and because of the big dictances involved they only saw each other face to face 4 or 5 ties in that period. They stayed together. They still are in fact.

so I deleted his number and have decided to move on.....there is nothing you can do if its not a mutual thing...

Nice move and hard to do, but fair play, as it's the best way forward.

LegacyUser

Hey thanks guys thats really helped, I was actually just sitting there about to text when I remembered I'd posted this yesterday. to answer your question I've no idea what shes feeling, shes a 'very stiff upper lip move on with it' kind of girl but I know her too well and know that she does get upset about things, she just never shows it.
I know she won't contact me because I said I was seeing someone (incidently that was just a weird mess that was nothing serious.)
I think our problems are things that could be worked through but the reason I said we where doomed is because I'm not sure if either of us wants to.
Oh by I havent met anyone like her I didn't mean since we split I meant in general. Like I've had about 4 heart stopping girls in my life but none that grabbed me like she did.
I guess the main problem is that I'm still madly in love with her and for the most part I broke up with her cause I thought she'd be happier without me. twas kind of one of those 'if you love something set it free' kind of buzzes. plus it's the fact that this week is our aniversary, first kiss was the 22nd, then we agreed to go out on the 27th. so its the double wammy of missing her at xmas and missing her cause its our aniversary.