Slept with someone for a bet

LegacyUser

My boyfriend is no angel and neither am I, but he told me the other day that he slept with someone before for a bet!! Dunno what to think of this, what would you think? Opinions please.

Mr. Incognito

I wouldn't read too much into it. he must have been attracted to her and used th bet as an excuse. Then again, most guys will sleep wit anything with a pulse. I'm no exception. That's genetic selection right there.

Misticles

was it before or during ur relationship?? it does show that he had feck all respect for the girl he slept with! lack of regards for her feelings.

AngryBadger

Not saying it's something I'd do myself, but each to their own.

If the other person didn't know then so what?

More details plz.

Cathmandooo

What to think? wrote: »

My boyfriend is no angel and neither am I, but he told me the other day that he slept with someone before for a bet!! Dunno what to think of this, what would you think? Opinions please.

Oh dear, well I suppose your priority should be to ask if he did that safely? Has he had an STI test since?

I must admit I'd lose respect for a guy doing that, how long ago did it happen? It's up to yourself anyway, i suppose you could just think of it like him having a one night stand before you came along.

cowzerp

single men will sleep with nearly anyone once there anyway into them, he used the bet to have an excuse as to why he was with some bird that his mate did not fancy!

LegacyUser

It was before I was going out with him. I just didn't know what to think when he told me. He didn't see a problem with it, I think that was the problem.

Umaro

Yeah my best friend and I used to do that a lot, challenge the other to sleep with a girl that was really clingy or insane. It always led to hilarity.

I wouldn't go getting myself in a fuss over this - it's not like it affects your relationship... unless he's going out with you for a bet :-O

MagicMarker

I'd think a lot less of a partner if they told me that. Just for being a complete tool to do it in the first place.

coolabuala

send us a picture, il double what he got 4 you

thecleverone

Not necessarily. Age has a lot to do with it. If he was a drunken teenager when it happened, i wouldn't think too much of it. He's hopefully grown up since then. If it was in the not so distant past, i'd tend to be a little worried.

Cactus Col

Gotta agree with Magic Marker there.

If I heard about a girl doing that, I'd consider her a bit of a slut.

He's basically had sex for money.

And how did he go about doing it? I can't imagine he treated the girl with much respect, more than likely flat out lied to her. Or just got her very drunk.

LadyJ

Can't really say it would bother me tbh. He was single at the time.
People sometimes have sex for worse reasons imo.

I mean, it is childish but, I dunno, it just wouldn't bother me.

However, if he'd done dispicable things to get the girl into bed then that's a bit much but
if he just scored her and took her home then it's no big deal imo.

r3nu4l

What to think? wrote: »

It was before I was going out with him. I just didn't know what to think when he told me. He didn't see a problem with it, I think that was the problem.

I think you are right here. He degraded another girl and himself in doing this. How old is he? It may be that he still has some growing up to do. I can't imagine that I would have done something like this ever but I have done some really stupid things in my past that I'm not proud of. I know now that I can pass it off as youthful stupidity but I'm still not proud of it.

You need to ask yourself if he is still the same person today, does he still hang around with the same people? Would he do the same today if he was single? Those answers will say a lot for who he is today. We all make mistakes and he's no different. Recognising it as a stupid and ignorant thing to do is important but as I say, maybe he's not mature enough for that yet.

Victor

coolabuala wrote: »

send us a picture, il double what he got 4 you

Banned.

Idbatterim

Sounds like Cruel Intentions!

tunney

Misticles wrote: »

it does show that he had feck all respect for the girl he slept with! lack of regards for her feelings.

Amazing, a bloke didn't consider a girls feelings. What sort of a tool are you?

Victor

On topic please.

JayoCluxton

What to think? wrote: »

he told me the other day that he slept with someone before for a bet!! Dunno what to think of this, what would you think? Opinions please.

I just can't understand why no-one has asked the obvious question here - how much did he win?

Victor

JayoCluxton wrote: »

I just can't understand why no-one has asked the obvious question here - how much did he win?

Banned.

Anyone want to make it a triple?

TripleAce

What to think? wrote: »

My boyfriend is no angel and neither am I, but he told me the other day that he slept with someone before for a bet!! Dunno what to think of this, what would you think? Opinions please.

Congratulate him - you are with a winner

Overheal

that pretty much makes your boyfriend a male whore you realise. you could set him up into a position where money is a motivator for cheating on you and see what happens. You owe it to know it.

DSB

It isn't that big a deal at all really.

AARRRGH

r3nu4l wrote: »

He degraded another girl and himself in doing this.

How is sex degrading if everyone is agreeing to do it? At no point has the OP suggested he degraded the other girl. He just had sex with her. I think it's fair to say she agreed to it.

OP, does any of his other behaviour suggest he's immature? Is this part of his personality - the ladish part - part of what you like about him?

gaeilgegrinds

Wouldn't bother me to be honest, we've all done things in the past.

r3nu4l

dublindude wrote: »

How is sex degrading if everyone is agreeing to do it? At no point has the OP suggested he degraded the other girl. He just had sex with her. I think it's fair to say she agreed to it.

OP, does any of his other behaviour suggest he's immature? Is this part of his personality - the ladish part - part of what you like about him?

Well I'm guessing that the girl didn't know about the bet...most girls would get a bit upset about that kind of thing and would not agree to it on that basis. I could be wrong in thinking she didn;t know about the bet but if I'm not then he degraded himself and her not through "having sex because it's dirty :eek:" (:rolleyes:) but through being sad enough to behave like a cretin and involve someone else unbeknownst to them! Taking a bet to lay a girl is just pathetic dublindude, not merely "laddish". If you can't see that then well...*sigh*

AARRRGH

It's a bit pathetic alright, but it's not degrading. There is a difference

the_syco

How did it come up in conversation? If it was:

You; so, you shagged X
Dude; yeah
You; why?
Dude; eh... (don't mention a failed relationship) eh... it was a bet
You; oh

It may be nothing, but if it was:

You: anything on TV
Dude: no, but I shagged a bird for a bet once (how cool do I look?)

Then it's bad.

Requiem4adream

I've kissed girls for bets in nightclubs plenty of times. Usually we'd make a deal at start of the night that at a certain time (like 1am) we all get to pick 1 girl the other has to try score. Generally either pick the most stunning or ugliest in the room for my m8's to go for (harder to go for extremes!); whoever succeeds gets x-number of drinks!!

It's a bit crass and in poor taste obv..... as for sleeping with them, as someone mentioned before a bet would just be an added incentive for a single guy to have sex with a girl he already likes. The problem obviously is on the morality side of it - it's not very nice to use and abuse people and their feelings like this.

Mike...

Get half the money from him....fair deal

acorntoast

Hey OP - I can understand why you would be upset by this.

I've heard from a lot of guys and observed for myself that old truism - men can compartmentalize sex and women can't. Now - I am absolutely positive there are a million and one people who don't fall neatly into those divisions <- Big Disclaimer People! But - as I say - I think there is some very general truth in that.

But to be non-gender biased about it - I think there are people for whom sex is mostly more intimate and meaningful, and people for whom sex can be like sneezing or shaking hands.

Sometimes, when when the intimacy people hear the full extent of that compartmentalization, it's a bit overwhelming and gross.

He and his friends discussed a girl, then he used her to prove a point to them. His motivation wasn't to have sex with her, or be with her, or get close to her; he was having sex with her for his friends/for the benefit of his friendships. It sounds vaguely homoerotic too - is he bisexual? I don't really understand that stuff though so maybe I'm wrong.

I think this does fall under normal laddish behaviour. But if you are like me, and you are a more - sex is meaningful - person, then I can understand why you would be upset. Normal lads sometimes grow up into nice steady men - how long ago did this happen?

Bottom line, my advice is to talk to him about it. Try to get it straight in your mind what exactly it is about it that upsets you - is it the idea that he could use you, or that his friendships are more important than your relationship, or that he views women as objects in a game, or that he is a bit shut off from his feelings, or that he is really immature, etc.

Sangre

acorntoast wrote: »

It sounds vaguely homoerotic too - is he bisexual? I don't really understand that stuff though so maybe I'm wrong.

You nailed it in one Freud. He did it because he was a steamer.

Senna

Is it possible he seen someone very attractive, his mates bet him he wouldn't have the balls to talk, ask her out, shag her?
If its the above, its doesn't reflect bad on him.