Telling someone...

LegacyUser

Ok first of all, I should state that I'm a 21 year old college student who happens to have have cystic fibrosis (CF); it's the most common genetic disorders in Ireland. It affects the lungs and digestive system mainly, and makes patients with CF prone to chest infections and illness and poor weight gain...to simplify! Now fortunately I'm pretty healthy: I was in hospital in May for a course of intravenous antibiotics - my first lot in 10 years!! You wouldn't know by looking at me; I've no problems with weight etc. So mainly it's just the tablets (I take around 30ish a day including permanent antibiotics, enzymes, prescribed vitamins etc...) and a bit of a cough and chest infections that can, in the most part, be treated with oral antibiotics. It doesn't affect my life too badly - especially compared to a lot of other people who have the disease.

I recently started going out with someone that I've known for a few years (but he didn't know I had CF) and told him in the last few days that I had CF.

Anyhow, when I told him, he was surprised but understanding. However, he started looking up stuff on the internet and found some very pessimistic sites and whatnot and he's just started to make himself very worried. I appreciate his concern and all, but at the same, I'm concerned that I've added unnecessary worry/stress to him.

He's particularly concerned about the shortened life expectancy, which, as they're based on average figures, can be intimidating (it's 21 in Ireland; 31 in UK...the last time I checked which was a while back; I'm not too concerned with average figures as they're misleading)

Is there anyway I can combat this? It's important he understands the seriousness of the whole thing, but at the same time that he needs to know that life must go on regardless! I've told him countless times not to worry and that if I'm not too concerned then he definitely shouldn't be...

You'd think I'd know by now how to deal with this, but in the main most people (fortunately) have had a quite passive (in a concerned way!) reaction, which is what I was expecting again. I'm just wondering if anyone else with a long term illness can tell me how to convince him that I don't need to be wrapped in bubble wrap and not allowed to leave my room? Thanks in advance!

CathyMoran

I get the same reaction when I tell people that I had oesophageal cancer! I think that you just need to educate people about your condition. I had someone freaking out when I told them I was diabetic, I just had to educate them about it and they were fine about it.

robinph

I'd say that you just have to give people a bit of time to catch up with your knowledge of whatever it is that you have in these situations. We may have been living with X condition for years and have managed to get our heads round most of whatever compilcations and such like that we need to be aware of. When you then go and tell somone else, especially if they might have thought they already knew all about you, then you just have to give them a little while to get their head round it all as well.