Transgender

newforms

Decided a good while back that I wish I was born female and have spent an ever increasing amount of time wondering what that means.

I figure its mostly driven by the sex. I feel the most out of place in my body during any sexual experience.

Then again I remember vaguely thinking something along the lines of thought I have now on a more basic level before puberty. So I don't even know why I want to be female, it makes no sense to me... I guess the same as any sexuality.

So if its purely a sex related thing, then surely I can constrict that to the bedroom and leave the rest of my life out of it.
But for some reason I want it to dress up as a girl all the time.

The thing stopping that is everyone else
There was another thread on jobs and people replied with many instances of TS people working and living their new gender and I think its wonderful but how about if you need to deal with clients?
The company could have a case to say you couldn't do your job if people were freaked out. A tough outer exterior doesn't pay the bills.
Then there would be people looking at you all the time, treating you differently, people you haven't seen for ages, family.
Its a massive social handicap.

Now granted I can probably keep it separate from work and that won't be such a big deal but what if I decide that I want to go get the operation...
something I've heard is much more effective if you start taking the hormones earlier.
Not only do I die earlier, its now an issue in every part of my shortened life.

And I guess I'm still wondering what the purpose of this is... and why I feel this way...

even if I do get the surgery I'm not XX... I'm just a guy with an artificially created hormone imbalance and plastic surgery that I reckon would make me feel more like I'm the right person for the job of running this body.

And say that tomorrow they come out with some way of changing a guy to a girl completely as he would have been had he been born that way that will still leave him with the issue of trying to make up his past life being male and learn how to exist within society again.

and how do you explain it to people who knew you as a guy, when you don't even understand the why of it yourself.

Maybe I can get myself cryogenically frozen until they find a cure for other people's ignorance.

SassyGirl_1

Whether or not it's just a "sex thing" is entirely up to you. You should know Sexuality and Gender are two separate concepts. There is an overlap for both and a lot of grey area in-between, but if you're thinking you should transition because you don't like sex in your current body - doing so would be a very bad idea.

I would suggest you seek out the guidance of trained councillor who has experience in helping people with sexuality issues. You could also try contact Dr. James Kelly who also specialises in GID (Gender Identity Disorder). There's contact information on the GIDI website.

Like most things in life, there are no easy answers. If you do decide to transition your approach to it will invariably decide people's reactions to you. Ram it down people's throats, shouting and demanding their respect - as happens - with get you nothing but their derision. And you will be treated as an outcast.

Know to transition takes years for both you and those around you. You cannot announce to the world "from tomorrow I am going to be a girl - accept it" and expect everyone to jump on board. It is a learning experience for you and everyone else.

There are a million and one things to learn and do to ensure your presentation as female allows for a successful integration in to society. How hard or difficult you want to make it is entirely up to you. There is a process - Standards Of Care (there's a copy on the GIDI website) which you should read. There is also a transition guide which shows all the various steps you need to do in order to successfully transition.

Transition to being female is really (IMO) not about be prescribed hormones to allow you to grow breasts; it's not about having an irreversible operation to acquire female parts . They are just a small part of a very long, difficult, lonely and painful process; they are like the last two pieces in a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle.

No one has all the answers - so you shouldn't expect yourself to have all the answers from the very start. Transitioning is a huge life-long learning experience to which you may never have all the answers, but does it matter? Nope.

BTW, if you do transition one of the biggest mistakes you could make is to make it the only thing in your life. Make it part of your life, but not your entire life - otherwise you'll be left with nothing.

Later,

Ck.

anotherlostie

For a forum that has made it quite clear that it is LGB and not T, it surprises me how many tranny issues there are on these pages!

Rev Hellfire

anotherlostie wrote: »

For a forum that has made it quite clear that it is LGB and not T, it surprises me how many tranny issues there are on these pages!

I don't believe this forum has ever stated that it is not a suitable venue for such discussions. In a similar way that the spiritualism forum can be used for discussing Judaism without needing to be renamed the spiritualism and Judaism forum so transgender topics be raised here without the superfluous T added.

newforms

anotherlostie wrote: »

For a forum that has made it quite clear that it is LGB and not T, it surprises me how many tranny issues there are on these pages!

I imagine if there were a separate forum for the T it would be slightly more surprising

newforms

SassyGirl_1 wrote: »

Whether or not it's just a "sex thing" is entirely up to you. You should know Sexuality and Gender are two separate concepts. There is an overlap for both and a lot of grey area in-between, but if you're thinking you should transition because you don't like sex in your current body - doing so would be a very bad idea.

Yes I know they are two seperate concepts, sexuality = gay/lesbian/bi/straight and gender = male/female but both of them have their primary effect on sex and a secondary and indirect on your place within society.

SassyGirl_1 wrote: »

I would suggest you seek out the guidance of trained councillor who has experience in helping people with sexuality issues. You could also try contact Dr. James Kelly who also specialises in GID (Gender Identity Disorder). There's contact information on the GIDI website.

Thanks, will have a look through that
Although I imagine its probably out of my price range for now

SassyGirl_1 wrote: »

Like most things in life, there are no easy answers. If you do decide to transition your approach to it will invariably decide people's reactions to you. Ram it down people's throats, shouting and demanding their respect - as happens - with get you nothing but their derision. And you will be treated as an outcast.

Know to transition takes years for both you and those around you. You cannot announce to the world "from tomorrow I am going to be a girl - accept it" and expect everyone to jump on board. It is a learning experience for you and everyone else.

There are a million and one things to learn and do to ensure your presentation as female allows for a successful integration in to society. How hard or difficult you want to make it is entirely up to you. There is a process - Standards Of Care (there's a copy on the GIDI website) which you should read. There is also a transition guide which shows all the various steps you need to do in order to successfully transition.


Transition to being female is really (IMO) not about be prescribed hormones to allow you to grow breasts; it's not about having an irreversible operation to acquire female parts . They are just a small part of a very long, difficult, lonely and painful process; they are like the last two pieces in a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle.

No one has all the answers - so you shouldn't expect yourself to have all the answers from the very start. Transitioning is a huge life-long learning experience to which you may never have all the answers, but does it matter? Nope.

BTW, if you do transition one of the biggest mistakes you could make is to make it the only thing in your life. Make it part of your life, but not your entire life - otherwise you'll be left with nothing.

Later,

Ck.

Makes sense thanks for the advice

SassyGirl_1

You're more then welcome.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Annasopra

anotherlostie wrote: »

For a forum that has made it quite clear that it is LGB and not T, it surprises me how many tranny issues there are on these pages!

The forum charter actually makes it quite clear this is not the case

charter wrote:

This board relates to LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Questioning) issues. .

LegacyUser

anotherlostie wrote: »

For a forum that has made it quite clear that it is LGB and not T, it surprises me how many tranny issues there are on these pages!

you see that is the probalem, people born with gender identity disorder are not trannies,
and there is no such entity as transsexual ,this is a made up terminology going back to the
old days before it was discovered to be a real intersex clinical condition and medically
recognised as gid.
these ts terminologies were dropped by the world health organisation in 1980 and by the
main players in the treatment of same in Ireland in 2005. and reiterated in a medical symposium in feb 2008 by minister mary harney.
Although some organisations still use the ts terminology for their own reasons, it is not
acceptable to the wider magority of people born with GID.
The use of the T only singles us out from any other male or female regardless of our
sexual orientation, GID born people can be gay/ lesbian/bi/ or hetrosexual, and so many
lgbt orginsations fail to grasp this and stick to old hat terminologies that discriminate or
misunderstand us as simply male or female.

It is time for a more professional language and humane understanding of such people who are born with GID.
And this is why the T. is not needed unless it is furthered by a proper explanation of gid
being the correct term. and allow such people to blend in and be accepted in any community as male or female.
I have made documenteries and done many a television appearance and radio and newspaper articles and even the garda revue on gid, just to try and bring awareness to the
true narure of us.

identitysupport@eircom.net