xmas party

LegacyUser

Ok ive never done this before so im a bit nervous but here goes.

heres the situation: Im with my bf 10 months, we get on great. (97% of the time.we have our tiffs just any other couple) both our xmas parties are on fri the 21st. He is a builder so his is going to be a wild night. Mine is a small affair as there are only three of us who work here in the office, so for that reason my boss said we could bring partners. So i told my bf and he said he could do without the wild night that he didnt really want to go and that he would come to mine. i was delighted with this until today. he rang me and said instead of him going out with the mad lads from work he has arranged to go out (Pubbing and Clubbing) with a few lad friends. Now thats no problem to me any other night. Fella's do need there nights with the lads as the girls do need there nights with the girls, but on this occasions i am really pi**ed off with him for arranging a night out when he had already told me he would come. Im new to this company (7weeks) and really dont want to go on my own as the other 2 people will have their partners there and i really dont want to feel like a spare part. I told him i felt let down and really didnt want to go on my own and his reply was :well my xmas party is on that night so if i was to go to that i wouldnt be able to go to yours anyway. So the long and short of it is he's not coming to mine and he's not going out with friends, he'll go to the work party afterall. I suggested could the lads all go out on the saturday night and he said its planned for the friday so no compromise there.

am i selfish to be annoyed with him? Should it be the fact of "well i had my party that night anyway so i can really do what i want if i dont go to that" even thought he said he'd come with me. Ive told him i dont think i want go to mine because i would feel strange with the other partneres there and me on my own.but i got no answer to that.


How would you feel? what should i do? Is he being a bit childish?

Cathmandooo

That seems very mean of him, you're right to be annoyed. I can totally understand that you'd be reluctant to go on your own, especially seems as you haven't been in the company long.

Have you annoyed him lately or something? Sounds like there's another side to the story.

Why dont you bring a friend instead? A girl or a fella!

LegacyUser

Sit him down, tell him you'd really like his support at the christmas party because you don't know many people there and they're bringing their boyfriends or whatever. If he's a half decent boyfriend at all he'll go. I'd go if my girlfriend asked but only because others were bringing their partners, if i got there and i was the only non-company person there, or only partner, id be pretty pissed off.

At the end of the day, its only a christmas party, a few drinks that are forgotten about when you get back from the break anyway.

togster

Seriouly get over it. Things change. There are alot worse things he could do.

AngryBadger

It's unfair of him to make plans and then renege on them like that telling you at the last minute.

Beyond that. I don't really see a problem. It's just the work christmas party for crying out loud.

Vegeta

you could look at it this way

you are the one who feels uncomfortable going alone, that is your problem not his. So just to make you feel comfortable and to solve your problem he has to miss a night out with the lads, that's hardly fair on him either.

If it was me I'd be going with you, no question. Not everyone sees things the same way though.

biko

Unreg843 wrote: »

So i told my bf and he said he could do without the wild night that he didnt really want to go and that he would come to mine. i was delighted with this until today.

The way I see it is that he made a commitment/promise saying he would go to your thing.
Sure it's only a party but you have a right to be angry.
What would he do if he arranged something and you committed to it and then backed out? Spit the dummy? I think so.
Tell him you need a bigger/dearer Christmas present now

LadyJ

I think you're right to be upset. It's a bit of an assholey thing to do imo. However, if he's not going to go with you then you still have your plus 1 so bring a friend along.

vorbis

I think he got pressure off the lads at work.

Oh your gf won't allow you out with us?
Not able to go to the party eh.
You'll miss a great night.

He probably started thinking that he should go to it. Breaking plans with you was not nice though.

LegacyUser

Jesus will ya ever get back to work*...... really it's the issue of he had already planned to go with you and now he's backing out, you just need to make him see he's been unfair!













* I work with her.

LegacyUser

It's no big deal really !
It's just a bit unfortunate that the 2 Parties clashed on the
same night.

It's just the XMAS party and all the crap that surrounds XMAS !

Also, he works on a building site.
Maybe he's afraid that the workmates might slag him off for being
a 'pussy-whipped' guy.