Threesome

Beatlebum

My girlfriend and i were staying in a hotel in Dublin recently and decided to go out on the tear. i decided to meet up with an old friend from school while we were out. my girlfriend had met him once or twice before and got on well with him. anyay, as the night went on we all got more and more drunk and when it was time to leave the niteclub we told him to come back to our room to continue drinking cos we had a load of cans there. he agreed and we all chatted on the way.

it gets a bit blurry now but i can remember walking into our room only to find the other two were not behind me. assuming they had taken a wrong turn in the hotel corridor, i went back to get them. when i came around the corner they were standing facing each other with there faces quite close together.we were all so drunk that i just dismissed it for some reason and told them to come into the room.
we were all drinking in the room for about an hour.i was lying on the bed with her and he was on a chair. My girlfriend then turned to me and whispered so he couldnt hear. The conversation went something like this,

Her:"do u want to have a threesome?"
Me:"What, now?"
Her:"Yeah, I've always wanted to have one and now wold be the perfect time"
Me:"No, not now"
Her:"Please, i've always wanted one and I think you'd like it too"

Needless to say i ended the conversation there. The friend obviously sussed that we had a bit of a tiff or something so he said he better go. And that's kinda where it ended.

Next mornin i talked to my gf and asked her about what was going on in the corridor.she said she couldnt really remember but she thought she might hav given him a quick "peck".

Anyway what i want to know is what would you do???

davyjose

I can't really offer advise on this man, because I know how I'd react, and that is probably not the best way to react. But I can say this - keep your missus away from your buddy, and have eyes in the back of your head.
It's weird to be honest. I wouldnt be happy if I were you.

miles teg

are you asking what we would do in the same situation or what would we do about the "peck"?
Nothing really happened so I wouldn't be p_ssed off with her.

Vengeance

For me personally, i'd have to sit down and have a chat. I wouldn't trust someone if they did that, it makes you wonder what goes on when she goes out without you.

I wouldn't continue the relationship, to be blunt. She wanted your friend and suggesting a threesome was a way of having her cake and eating it, so to speak.

She's insulted you, she either did it for attention or she's become bored. With more information i could give you a more concrete opinion. Her actions, while she may have been drunk, need serious explanation.

Alcohol doesn't affect your brain. It affects your nervous system. Thats scientific fact, so don't allow it to become an excuse.

Good luck man, i feel sorry for you being in this position, but you should deal with it sooner rather than later, and if she doesn't respect you then you should find someone who does.

Beatlebum

well i dont really think there's any chance of them seein each other again but its still worrying. would u give her the elbow?

miles teg

Beatlebum wrote: »

well i dont really think there's any chance of them seein each other again but its still worrying. would u give her the elbow?

why? she asked you if you'd be up for something and you said no so nothing happened.

davyjose

Beatlebum wrote: »

well i dont really think there's any chance of them seein each other again but its still worrying. would u give her the elbow?

I wouldn't dump her, but I'd let her know exactly how you feel, and exactly how many lines she crossed with her "innocent" peck and suggestion of a threesome. I would make it clear in no uncertain terms that she is BANG out of order, and then I would expect her to grovel.

biko

Been in similar situation (mmf) and also said no.
Did have a ffm later though.
Very chauvinistic I know but I don't get turned on by seeing some other sweaty guy there when I make sweet lurve to my woman.

OP, just put it down to drink. No biggie imo.

Mr. Incognito

Reverse it. How do you think you're girlfriend would react if you were chatting up one of her mates, fell behind, gave her a peck and then offered your missus a threesome. I wonder............

MagicMarker

I don't know what i'd think about that. I wouldn't be too happy anyhow.

Why not ask your friend what happened in the hall? IF she did kiss him, then i would get rid. It's one thing for this to happen on a night out, but for it to happen behind your back, literally! shows a serious lack of respect. She wouldn't be worth my time.

How long have you been together?

dlofnep

Kick her to the curb.

kf1920

Beatlebum wrote: »

well i dont really think there's any chance of them seein each other again but its still worrying. would u give her the elbow?

I dont the the problem is just with this "mate". What will happen with the next guy? i doubt its just about this particular guy. She may have kissed another fella and wanted a threesome, the question you have to ask yourself is do you trust her? Because if there isnt trust, there is nothing and you might as well just leave.

Is your friend the type that would hit on a friends girlfriend?

Jerichoholic

I'd give her the elbow for sure, doesn't sound good at all. However before you do, tell her that you feel like a threesome with one of her mates, and see how she reacts.

nice1franko

I don't like the sound of that at all. If it came out during a drunken bit of lovin or something and no one in particular was in mind then you could have a talk about it but... the way that went ... sounds to me like she wanted a ride from him any way it was going. There's a good chance you could have been a spectator there. Fetching bottles of water, towels, etc. while she's gettin hopped out of it.

Vengeance

*Lights up a cigarrette and puts on some jazz*

More information would make it easier for the rest of us to post more solid replies. If you don't think its a good idea to post it here, then PM a few of us and get more solid opinions.

mox54

If you were up for it and the friend was a female, then she's the best in the world for thinking of you and saving you the embarrassment of suggesting it for you.....I assume the friend is male and she gets 2 for the price of 1, then she's a whore and get rid!!

PeakOutput

i think the fact that she admitted to a "peck" so easily would have my mund racing about what actually happened. fair enough you were all drunk but you should of been asked first before anyone gave anyone else a little "peck"

what i would say happened is........friend jokes about a 3sum your gf says shes up for it he says seriously she kiss's him to show him shes serious she waits a little while then asks you you say no friend realises it and ****s off but i am COMPLETELY guessing obviously

Lux23

What else could they have done in such a short other than have a bit of kiss, listen it was a drunken thing andd if you really love girlfriend talk to her about it but don't go dumping her before you really discuss what happened.

Susannahmia

Beatlebum wrote: »

well i dont really think there's any chance of them seein each other again but its still worrying. would u give her the elbow?

If it was me I would. Wouldnt be able to trust them again.

PeakOutput

Lux23 wrote: »

What else could they have done in such a short other than have a bit of kiss.

unacceptable imo that my girlfriend give some fella friend or not any sort of kiss other than a kiss on the cheek

thebiggestjim

Beatlebum wrote: »

Anyway what i want to know is what would you do???

Have the threesome

Jerichoholic

thebiggestjim wrote: »

Have the threesome

There is no way in hell I would have a threesome if another bloke was involved, call me crazy, but that's a little too gay for me.

PeakOutput

Jerichoholic wrote: »

There is no way in hell I would have a threesome if another bloke was involved, call me crazy, but that's a little too gay for me.

well its only gay if you have sex with the guy otherwise its not in the slightest gay.

i still dont think id be able to get it up with another guy in the room though and thats why i wouldnt do it

Jerichoholic

It's gay-ish. Naked with another man enjoying sex...wait, no, it is gay!

AngryBadger

I really want to say that i reckon there was drink involved and she just thought this would be an outrageous adventure, and things got a wee bit out of hand with your mate.

However in reality i see two major problems here,

1) As you say, if she kissed your mate (and admitted to it) when you were only a few metres away, what the hell is she doing when you're not there at all?

2) I'm all for 3somes, and sexual misadventure but you don't just spring that on someone. In my experience if you want to push out your sexual boundaries it's best done with a partner you trust, and it's best planned, and planned well. Springing a 3some on someone like this, in all likelihood it will only destroy a relationship.

A serious chat is needed here, and depending on how long you're with thie girl and how much you feel you can trust her I'd be giving very grave consideration to issuing a p45.

Marksie

jericoholic: Please keep it on topic. Read the charter. thats a warning

Jerichoholic

The title is "Threesome", I suppose saying the word "gay" is homophobic now?

Anyway, back on topic. Any woman that has sex with two men at once is not girlfriend material, and that's my OPINION.

Marksie

Jericoholic banned 1 week, continued off topic posting and arguing with mod in thread.

LegacyUser

OP
Here is my 2 cent and from personal experience.

Sharing a threesome with your gf, as long as its not a regular thing, more of a fulfill fantasies etc kinda thing, can help a couple grow much closer together being able to share their inner most desires and make them reality........... remember your gf would HOPEFULLY understand and well return the favor (if your wanted too) have a threesome with another girl or whatever you may desire, as long as its not too weird .

That being said the above scenario that you have described, being very drunk and it being sprung on you, specially after the situation where you went back into the hallway and saw your gf and friend with their faces close together, is not the way to have it. Yes maybe if it had happened it would of been great and next morning everything fine, but generally I would advise against that kinda situation.

Sit down with your gf, chat with her, talk to her about if it was a spur of the moment thing, does she really want a threesome, was she really just interested in your friend or was she just really drunk and didn't know what she was talking about.

Thats the best advice I can give and hopefully it will work out

IRISH RAIL

she did something in the corridor before she asked you its obious something went on. and she chanced her arm drunk or not she knew what a threesome was so she couldnt have been out of it. already you have doubts about trusting her finish it before you get really hurt

Rb

Dump her, and do it quickly.

How do you think you're girlfriend would react if you were chatting up one of her mates, fell behind, gave her a peck and then offered your missus a threesome.

Sums it up nicely enough.

kowloon

Sounds to me like she's using the threesome as an excuse to shag another fella she fancies.
Reminds me of an ex who done this kind of crap, i put up with it and found out later she was cheating aswell, the besti can wish that hag is a quick death

On a more serious note, i'd have a nice little chat with her, and drunken behavior is a pi55 poor excuse.

niceirishfella

Jerichoholic wrote: »

There is no way in hell I would have a threesome if another bloke was involved, call me crazy, but that's a little too gay for me.

Jezzzz, i agree with Jericho.......

waaaaaay tooooo gay............for me too.

The only thereesome i'd be having is a NiceIrishFella Sandwich with 2 pieces of hot asian totty, one on top and one on the bottom!!

LOL:D

girlwitcurls

obviously she isnt content in what ye have. id say dump her because she will hurt you otherwise.

Beruthiel

niceirishfella wrote: »

Jezzzz, i agree with Jericho.......

waaaaaay tooooo gay............for me too.

The only thereesome i'd be having is a NiceIrishFella Sandwich with 2 pieces of hot asian totty, one on top and one on the bottom!!

I suggest you read this forums charter before you get yourself banned.
B

LikeOhMyGawd!

I don't think this girl is one for keeping. I suggest that she is dumped. But before dumping her, agree to a threesome and go through with it, making sure you are the one doing it in the wrong'un.

Wing Walker

It's a tough one, especially for some guys. Most guys (would I be correct) baulk at the prospect of mmf and would readily dive (pardon any unintended pun) into a ffm.

Well if you're young(ish) and only going out a while (with no kids etc. etc.) then maybe try it out. Perhaps she turns out not to be life partner material. What then? Well at least you've gained an interesting experience for the life catalogue! Alternatively, ask her how she'd like it with one of her girlfriends. Maybe a foursome? It could all work out in everyone's favour.

Having said all that, I'd be a little (if not a lot) suspicious of the "peck".

Best of luck with your decisions in any event.

~Rebel~

Have to say personally id be giving her the heave-ho regardless of whether it was more then a peck in the hall or not.

She effectively told you she wanted to fuk your buddy, thats game over for me.

kraggy

I don't the think the issue here is the fact that the OP is a guy and the proposed threesome was with another guy. Unless of course the OP is really against any intimacies with another gent.

I think the main issue here is that his girlfriend seemed to have wanted to get intimate with another guy.

There are is one basic question here and it relates to the ground rules for such an adventure.

Did the OP's girlfriend want the threesome because she herself wanted action with another bloke, or did she want to get her kicks from seeing her boyfriend with another guy?

I would say it was the former, but I wasn't there and don't know the couple from Adam.

However, the fact that the girlfriend and the other guy got kinda close in the corridor should make the OP sit down and talk with her about it.

Personally, I'd be well uncomfortable.

Either way OP, hope you get it sorted.

witchywoman

well, I think that your gf was trying to act out a fantasy of hers, and she was more comfortable about telling you when she was intoxicated. i dout that she has the hots for your pal, any decent looking guy would fit the purpose . if i was you, i would discuss my feelings about this with her over dinner maybe? men often think that they are the only ones with fantasies, and then they are shocked when they discover that their partner may be harbouring a few of their own.....

chump

Very interesting that she had no worries giving a lad a peck when you were a few meters away.

Does she get this drunk regularly enough?

I would bet that if she does, this is not the first time she's given a peck to someone else when you're not around.

davyjose

nice1franko wrote: »

... sounds to me like she wanted a ride from him any way it was going.

This is actually VERY true.

LegacyUser

witchywoman wrote: »

well, I think that your gf was trying to act out a fantasy of hers, and she was more comfortable about telling you when she was intoxicated. i dout that she has the hots for your pal, any decent looking guy would fit the purpose . if i was you, i would discuss my feelings about this with her over dinner maybe? men often think that they are the only ones with fantasies, and then they are shocked when they discover that their partner may be harbouring a few of their own.....

I 100% agree with witchywoman. I doubt she really fanices him but would guess she thought here is the ideal opportunity to act out a fantasy.... As for her revealing and discussing that fantasy with you in advance i dont think that an issue. I think this was an opprtunity 3some, in other words she spotted the chance and was egged on my booze. I dont think she would have sat down in the light of day and trawled the internet for someone to have a 3some with.

The real issue here is the kiss. She was 'out of control' drunk and kissed a friend of yours. He is as bad as she is and i would not trust the pair of them.

YOu dont sound like you want to dump her and thats up to you... Just think how you will feel the next time you are out with both of them. Insecure Ill bet

customer

If she smooches with your friend when you're a few metres up the corridor, what might she be capable of when you're not around at all?

Bin her.

merritt

customer wrote: »

Bin her.

:rolleyes: Nothing personal, customer, and all the other knee-jerk reactions to dump her.

Why so quick to advocate ditching her? Relationships and people are complex; there are grey areas (within reason). This kind of binary attitude simplifies things to an absurd level; 'she made an error therefore she should be purged' - jaysus, the human race would be extinct if everyone played hardball like that.

iii Stevo iii

merritt wrote: »

:rolleyes: Nothing personal, customer, and all the other knee-jerk reactions to dump her.

Why so quick to advocate ditching her? Relationships and people are complex; there are grey areas (within reason). This kind of binary attitude simplifies things to an absurd level; 'she made an error therefore she should be purged' - jaysus, the human race would be extinct if everyone played hardball like that.

That "error" you speak of in alot of cases is a fatal error. Send her to the recycle bin, then format your hard drive and start fresh with a new operating system.

humbert

She probably fancies the friend and is sexually adventurous. Nothing inherently wrong with either but I'd talk to her about "stuff".

Pinker

""Alcohol doesn't affect your brain. It affects your nervous system. Thats scientific fact, so don't allow it to become an excuse.""

Well the last time I checked the brain was pretty important piece of the nervous system,..fact.

Beatlebum

thanks everyone for ur advice.

Vengeance

Pinker wrote: »

""Alcohol doesn't affect your brain. It affects your nervous system. Thats scientific fact, so don't allow it to become an excuse.""

Well the last time I checked the brain was pretty important piece of the nervous system,..fact.

True. Apologies, i was given misguided information by an eccentric biologist. Anyone who wants more information can look up alcohol effects in wikipedia. It affects thinking, but if she was truly in love with him or faithful those thoughts would not manifest.