How do i love him?

RubyXI

I have been with my boyfriend nearly 2 years but i wonder whether we like eachother because we're together or if we're together because we like eachother. I know he cares about me n i care about him but i'm not 100% sure whether it's just as really good friends.

biko

Does it matter?
Do you feel better with him or without him?
Do you lust for him?

What someone else wrote

RubyXI

Yes it matters. In the long-term anyway. I feel much better with him. I got really depressed when we were on a break.

biko

You would sacrifice- This is the best way to find out whether you are in love or not. If you are ready to sacrifice something for your partners comfort then you are definitely in love. Love is all about sacrifices and compromises and if you are truly in love you would not mind being committed and making sacrifices for the one you love.

RubyXI

Im not really sure about sacrafising, it's never really come up. not since i broke up with my ex for him

Phibsboro

To the general question of whether you are or you aren't in love with him, I'd say the key test from the linked article earlier is - do you feel good when you see him happy? For me that is always the moment I know I'm falling for someone - the warm feeling I get when they are delighted with a nice meal or a great day in work.

Another piece of advice - if you think you are at the point where love should be entering the equation, try saying "I Love You"! Its amazing how that clarifies things. If you say and don't really feel it, you'll know immediately I think. If you say and kinda mean it, the very act of saying it opens up a closeness that will allow the love to grow and deepen. If you get my drift.... God i'm very soppy for this hour of the morning

Cheers,
C

RubyXI

Ya it makes me feel good when he's happy. And i get really upset when he's sad. But wouldnt that be true of your friends and family too?

Phibsboro

phi3 wrote: »

Ya it makes me feel good when he's happy. And i get really upset when he's sad. But wouldnt that be true of your friends and family too?

Well I think its all a question of degree. We do love our family and friends as well so its all about love. Just the feelings are more intense with bf/gf love...

biko

phi3 wrote: »

Ya it makes me feel good when he's happy. And i get really upset when he's sad. But wouldnt that be true of your friends and family too?

Caring like family- Do you care for your partner just as you care for your family? And get sad when your partner is sad or maybe get happy when you partner is? Love is all about caring and sharing. And if you treat your partner just like you treat your family than you are definitely in love.
From the linked article

RubyXI

ya i'd care about him as much as my family id say alrite like.

Lawless_Samurai

biko wrote: »

You would sacrifice- This is the best way to find out whether you are in love or not. If you are ready to sacrifice something for your partners comfort then you are definitely in love. Love is all about sacrifices and compromises and if you are truly in love you would not mind being committed and making sacrifices for the one you love.

Dunno if "Love" can be simplified like that. I don't think love can be explained, it defines sense which is so great about it. Because of this though OP I don't think anyone can really answer your question except you. When you know you know. I know that doesn't help but maybe because you were in doubt means you already know the answer to your question and don't wanna hear it.

Just a thought. Good Luck

JCDUB

I was in a relationship for three years like that, eventually came to the conclusion that if I had to question it then it wasn't love, we broke up, we're both better off.

If it's love, you know, apparently:rolleyes:

spinandscribble

i think everyone of questionable confidence has moments where they question if they love their SO. being a worrier would also play your part. if you're happy to see him and he makes you happy then theres no need to question if its love.