Help me make up jokes about my friend who broke his leg....

Ninja_scrotum

Hi,

****BACKSTORY*****

My friend was at work and he had to move about twenty panes of glass. They were up against the wall. He took the first one off, and the rest fell on top of him. He broke his leg, broke his ankle, and got cut up real bad.

He's in hospital now in a cast with metal pins in his ankle.

So, I've been slagging him for a while with some terrible jokes and puns, making fun of him, such as....

Hey, when the panes of glass fell on you, were you in much pane?

Hey, at least you'll have a break from work.

Hey, how long do you think it will take your ankle to heel?

Look at the cut of you.

.....And I've kinda run out of jokes now.

Can anyone help me think up of more?

By the words "help me" I mean make jokes up and then give them to me.

Thanks people.

Ninja_scrotum

Lands Leaving

Trying to get a leg up on the situation?

ankling for some jokes?

Want some cutting remarks?








Don't ask me

Gordon

Ask him if his work was getting on top of him and for a visual effect move his glass of water away from him just in case he fell on it.

marcsignal

"I would have given you a 'leg up' with that glass if you'd asked"

"So you'll have a ****ty christmas, but don't feel to cut up about it"

"You'd make a lousy window, but a great Pane/Pain"

"Ok you're in plaster up to your thigh, but look on the bright side, the guy in the bed opposite want's to buy your slippers."


thats all i can think of for now

ejmaztec

Tell him that you're his friend. He'll think that's a huge joke!

Pj!

Haha I like this thread. Nice one OP.

Can't really think of any though.

How about "don't come running to me if you have a ****ty christmas because of this".

trout

20 panes of glass ... lucky they weren't mirrors, wha ?

I bet the nurses are real nice to you ... like putty in your hands.

*put on serious face* I have some bad news, now don't go to pieces

*looks around the hospital room* will I see if we can get a bed further from the window ?

I suppose it happens though ... a pile of work getting on top of you, and everything comes crashing down before you know it.

*shakes head* bet you feel stupid now ... like you could kick yourself *looks at leg* oh, sorry.

still ... coulda been worse ... you could have circumcised yerself, wha ?

OP ... you are heartless

Pigman II

Tell him you're only joking around and that you hope there's no shard feelings.

trout

You look tired ... poor thing ... ye must be shattered, wha ?

Gran Hermano

Inform everyone he's getting a parrot for Christmas to complete his
one-legged pirate look.

Ask him is he going to the Christmas party or is he afraid he'll be legless.

condra

Ask him if he had have been killed would he have been buried in Glasnevin cemetry.

tman

womoma wrote: »

Ask him if he had have been killed would he have been buried in Glasnevin cemetry.

I was going to give the OP some abuse for being a crap friend, but then he might develop a conscience and not use that absolute gem:p

Dont be at yourself

"You don't need that bandage, it's all just window dressing"

Ninja_scrotum

tman wrote: »

I was going to give the OP some abuse for being a crap friend

We are good enough friends to be able to slag eachother without offense. He's lovin' it.

He works as an asbestos remover, all around the country.

So I told him that the accident wasn't his fault, he was doing his job asbestos he could.

Also, on his break from work he can have a bit of crack.

EamonnKeane

Go to his flat and replace all the glasses with paper cups. And sellotape "WARNING - DANGEROUS" signs to all his windows.

EamonnKeane

womoma wrote: »

Ask him if he had have been killed would he have been buried in Glasnevin cemetry.

or Baltinglass

Jigsaw

Ask him if there are good prospects in his job or is there a glass ceiliing?

AlmightyCushion

Fart in his face then say "Sorry man, I've got terrible glass today".

Binomate

Put some broken glass in his food.

randylonghorn

Binomate wrote: »

Put some broken glass in his food.

linkeh ...

il gatto

How about, "You broke your leg, you clumsy f@ckwit!" while pointing. That oughta do it.:rolleyes:

NextSteps

Just keep humming 'Glast Christmas, I gave you my heart...'

NextSteps

And tell him not to worry, sure everyone's broke over Christmas...

Pigman II

Wish him a smashing christmas.

muboop1

trout... brilliant...

Dun laoire

Totally out of context i suppose but my mate can pull of his voice to perfection. No matter what the conversation, once he pulls this line out everybody laughs. I would suggest you master this and next time you visit him in the hospice i guarantee all the lepers will laugh. It's important to get the laugh right too. Goodluck

Here

hottstuff

Ask him "hows your movements"?:)