Graduation

Insect Overlord

Why do we stand here shivering
In the post midnight
Cool of a wet May Wednesday?
Why the fascination with a pair of swans
Who hold their heads under the rippling surface
And pay us no heed as we make them mythical?
They stay together forever, you say.
But still they show no interest in our liquid-fuelled fun.
They still hold their heads under river’s surface, startling you.

And then a solitary ship sloths slowly by,
Becoming the latest big attraction.
But we had to wait too long for it,
And it meant nothing, was just a distraction
From the white-winged elegants,
So we stopped our waving.
And anyway, we’re still shivering.

Our musings turn to art and how it’s made,
What words mean and what they’re worth,
And how great it must feel
To create something wonderful.

It’s a little bit too cold,
Even with fluid fire in a flask,
But still we bask
In the freshness of the night and become philosophers.
Is this why we stand here,
Shivering at low tide on a little pier?
Another mouthful and satisfied sigh,
Another strange car’s lights flash by,
And as we all panic together things start to make sense:
We stand here shivering together as friends.


Tommy C

shiv

I like it. Nice flow and imagery.

Insect Overlord

Thanks Shiv

markw999

I like it overall there's some great lines in there like:

"So we stopped our waving.
And anyway, we’re still shivering."

"But still we bask
In the freshness of the night and become philosophers.
Is this why we stand here,
Shivering at low tide on a little pier?
Another mouthful and satisfied sigh,
Another strange car’s lights flash by,
And as we all panic together things start to make sense:
We stand here shivering together as friends."

Personally, I thought the alliteration stood out too much, for example

"And then a solitary ship sloths slowly by"

breaking the flow of it for me but it was nice, the emotion came through quite well