Formula one!

dak

The unnamed Formula One Team sacked its entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed their decision to take advantage of the UK Government's Youth Opportunity Scheme and employ people from Liverpool.

The decision to hire the teenagers was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Liverpool area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than six seconds without proper equipment, whereas the formula ones existing crew can only do it in eight seconds with millions of euros worth of high tech equipment.

Prime Minister Tony Blair went on record as saying this was a bold move by the the Formula 1 management, which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under New Labour. As most races are won and lost in the pits, the unnamed team now have the advantage over every team.

However, Formula one may have got more than they bargained for. At the crew's first practice session the Liverpool pit crew successfully changed the tyres in under six seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to the ***** Team for eight bottles of Stella, a kilo of speed and some photos of M******'s bird in the shower.

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The teacher asked her class of 8 year olds to use a sentence containing the word fascinate

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate', not fascinating'.

Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and was fascinated.'

The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.

Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her bosoms are so big she can only fasten eight.'

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The Doctor was puzzled, 'I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, O' Flaherty. I think it must be drink.'

'Don't worry about it Dr Cullen, I'll come back when you're sober.' said O' Flaherty
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dak

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was homesick.

' No, 'replied the Irishman.' It's worse, I have I've lost all me luggage.'

'That's terrible, how did that happen?'

'The cork fell out of me bottle.'

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