everyones depressed!

LegacyUser

hi there just venting really i know ill probably sound like a nasty person but im not!....anyway the past year has been really weird,it seems a lot of my close friends and family have been afflicted have suffered from various ailments and tragedies,to give an example a close friend has become very depressed to the point hes on medication and has a really paranoid violent temper! a close relative ive learned has got a drug addiction and is not getting on with who they are living with( her sister) and another close friends dad killed himself. with that ive got another couple of friends who are just totally bummed out bout things and a few others.the thing is im dealing with this on an almost daily basis and im just getting to a point where im tired of having to deal with drama and sadness and the like everyday everyone seems to be something else! what im writing for is that im trying to get away a little from these people and their situations just a little.

to give some background im 22, back in college now,although ive was working past 2 years,what im writing about above are all about different people in my life,the only thing that connects most of them is me,what i mean is that none of my friends know about my family issues and vice versa,and some of my friends wouldnt really know some of my other friends. it means that things get hectic, an example is last week in 7 days there was a fight in my house lots of recriminations,had a couple days of friend whose dad died(which i dont mind doing because it was very recent) ,another friend whose stuck in a dead end situation so i meet up and everytime its all "where am i going what am i doing" and druggie relative and sister not getting on and im hearing both sides of it.this just all adds up to me trying to say the right things etc. whats annoying is im missing college and college work coz of stuff happening like this and it feels like ive no time to just relax because the people im supposed to chill with are just bringing me down all the time!what gets me is that whenever ive had "personal issues"(GF break up) i didnt really rely on anyone to deal with it i just dealt with it and got back and tried to enjoy myself again but now im in this role of someone to talk to?

before this year ive never experienced times like these, i really like my friends and family and i want to be there for them, but its getting to a point where im pretty bummed out myself the whole time now,id like just a little time to just not have to listen or hear about sad things,why cant everyone just be a little bit cheerful again? i know reading back what ive typed i coming across as someone whose only there in the good times and not the bad but im not really like that im just venting.

JuliusCaesar

I don't think you sound at all a horrible person, jsut someone who's a bit overwhelmed by the demands being made on you. Of course you need some me time, some fun time. If your college work is suffering, maybe you're making too many demands on yourself in trying to be there for everybody else and aren't being there for yourself? Take some time out - go see a comedy with a friend who isn't full of problems, or even on your own.

Dizzyblonde

No you're not a bad person, you come across as very caring. Sometimes people can abuse this and offfload too much on someone like you. I agree with Julius, you need some light relief. Take some time out for yourself and hang around cheery people, you can still be there for your friends who need you but have limits. Watch a few funny films and have a really good laugh.
The best advice I ever got was 'Don't take on someone else's pain'.
It's almost a new year, and I hope it'll be filled with happiness for you.

How Strange

OP, you seem to be going through the wringer at the moment with trying to be the shoulder to cry on for all these people. My advice to you is to get selfish with your time. It's something you learn as you get older - don't give up all your time to be there for other people and their problems. It's very important to give yourself time to prioritise the important things in your life.

That doesn't mean you should forget all about these people or run a mile whenever they phone you to meet up. It just means you have to start saying 'no, I can't meet up because I have to do x. y or z'.

They have to respect the fact that you have your own life to live and you have to see that too. If you neglect yourself just to be everyone's free counsellor you will start to resent it and them.

monkey tennis

Now might be a good time to join a new club or society; it sounds like you need a bit of time away from the hassles you mentioned. Getting to know some new people who won't want to have any heavy conversations could be good.

Ishindar

chin up man, sometimes **** comes in big heaps and sometimes small pebbles. the small pebbles will start coming again soon, thats life!
just keep moving, onward!

leninbenjamin

Welcome to Ireland OP, the country with one of the highest suicide rates in the world. Practically everyone in this country will have to confront depression at some stage, both in themselves and/or a loved one/family member(s). In some morbid way it's part of growing up in this country.

and now for the really heartless bit: Depressives drag other people down. Their irrational outlook can impact friends and family and basically spread the irrationality. If you feel you're getting to a point where you can't handle this you might want to consider putting a bit more of a distance between yourself and them, a hard thing to do but sometimes we've just got to make a clean break, particularly if people can't/won't help themselves.