Has she a child?

LegacyUser

Hi I am gonig unreg on this.

I met a girl on friday, we spoke briefly in a bar and exchanged numbers. Today we spoke on the phone and I heard a child in the background. Basically, I am place at them moment where I cannot be with somebody with a child. I know you are all saying how insentivtive I am being but I dont want to mess her about and need to be honest with her.

I know the child I heard could be a younger brother\sister or she was babysitting neice\nephew. I have nothing against children and sometime in the future I would lilke my own.

I know I might come across selfish and dont want to string her along. We have arranged to meet during the week and if she says she has a child, how do I tell her that I cant see her again because a possible relationship with a child involved is something I am not looking for with out sounding like an insenstive a$$????


thanks

girlwitcurls

id ring her and ask her out straight. if you have such an issue with it you should have asked there and then, but really your jumping to conclusions.

supertramp

although I have no experience of this kind of situation, I would imagine it better to bring it up first, before she mentions it. It could save alot of stress when you both are more comfortable.
If she does have a child, she might wait until you are more attached before letting you know....

dirtydress

Well dont tell her you cant see her because of her child...that sounds incredibly insensitive and would make her feel really bad about herself and possibly that she'll never meet someone who will like her because of her kid. If she does bring it up (or maybe you should) just continue on with the night and maybe try a gradual approach to letting her down...saying something like you feel you would be better friends or you're not over an ex or something..or even that its just not working out for you, you dont feel a "spark" and whatnot.

Be sensitive above all else!

girlwitcurls

dirtydress wrote: »

Well dont tell her you cant see her because of her child...that sounds incredibly insensitive and would make her feel really bad about herself and possibly that she'll never meet someone who will like her because of her kid.

i used to feel like that because with some fellas if you mention you have a kid they run for the hills thankfully i met a lovely fella though who excepts me and my life for what it is.

finbarrk

Yeah, it would be unfair to tell her you didn't want to see her because of the child. You'll have to come up with some other excuse so you wont hurt her.

MIN2511

fair enough you dont want to date girl with a kid but isn't it a little too soon to ask personal questions like that? IMO wait, she would tell you eventually and then you can tell her how you feel.

simu

Help111 wrote: »

Hi I am gonig unreg on this.

I met a girl on friday, we spoke briefly in a bar and exchanged numbers. Today we spoke on the phone and I heard a child in the background. Basically, I am place at them moment where I cannot be with somebody with a child. I know you are all saying how insentivtive I am being but I dont want to mess her about and need to be honest with her.

I know the child I heard could be a younger brother\sister or she was babysitting neice\nephew. I have nothing against children and sometime in the future I would lilke my own.

I know I might come across selfish and dont want to string her along. We have arranged to meet during the week and if she says she has a child, how do I tell her that I cant see her again because a possible relationship with a child involved is something I am not looking for with out sounding like an insenstive a$$????


thanks

I think you'll just have to go on the date and find out from chatting to her. If you ask her over the phone, you might come accross as being a bit weird.

Although, tbh it's fair enough not to want to go out with someone who has a child.