Tumor, tumor on the ball...

LegacyUser

I was called into my doctor today, to be told there was a 90% chance I have cancer.
Well, he didn't give me a number, but left no uncertain terms. It's weird, I don't feel any different. Perhaps I'm in shock, but I dunno.

I lost my mother to cancer and all my grandparents died from it, so I guess it was inevitable. My doctor suggested I tell my dad, but I've decided not to tell him till after Christmas, he doesn't need the worry.

I haven't told anyone else yet.

Sorry, I don't really have a question. I guess I just wanted to discuss it.

Beruthiel

OP
I'm truly sorry to hear that.
If you don't want to tell your Da just yet, is there someone else you can talk to?
You need to have someone close there with you on this.
I understand you don't what to upset your Da, but speaking as a parent, I'd want to know asap no matter what time of the year it was.
I hope everything works out well for you.
Take care of yourself.

chuckles30

OP - I'm really sorry to hear your story. Is there any local cancer charity in your area? I know lots of them offer confidential couselling and it might give you the opportunity to talk to someone about your situation and how to break the news to those closest to you. Take care of yourself.

LegacyUser

When you say tumor on the ball, you mean a testical tumor? My friend had one and had it removed, all is well 5 years on.

LegacyUser

Hi folks, thanks a million for your replies.
Beruthiel, my doctor also wanted me to talk to someone. Why? I mean I can understand that it'll help some people, but all my life I've kept thing to myself.
I'm a complete extrovert and I've been blessed with a lot of truly great people I can call friends, but I keep my personal life very personal. I'm of the impression that I can deal with this myself, regardless of the outcome, so why burden someone else? (...other than you guys )

Naturally, if it became terminal, I'd tell my loved ones.

Anyway, I'm going to see the specialist later today, to i guess just confirm what the doctor said last night and arrange further scans discuss treatment and the like.

ellenmelon

i think dr's assume that everyone is going to need a shoulder to cry on...but some people,like you, seem to deal with things differently so if you dont want to talk to someone (in real life ) dont! you've had a different experience with cancer so thats probably got something to do with it...

anyway, good luck and keep your chin up yeah? YOU CAN DOOO IIT!



yes, im seemingly light hearted about it but the OP seems to be taking things pretty well so there's no need to be depressing.

LegacyUser

j2cphj wrote: »

When you say tumor on the ball, you mean a testical tumor? My friend had one and had it removed, all is well 5 years on.

Yea thats what I mean. I know someone else who had one quite young and all was fine. I'm in my 30's though, and the doctor refused to give me any idea of how good/bad I am. He's leaving that to the specialist today.

Oryx

Hi OP. Im also really sorry that this is happening to you. All I can do is wish you strength and courage as you head into it.

If youre the type that holds things in, fair play. But dont be afraid to change. Having cancer is a big deal, you might feel different and want to talk. And in the meantime, youve got all us boardsies.
But you do sound strong, and Im glad your dealing with it in a way that suits you.

Just from a different perspective though, do consider your family here. If another member of your family was going through this instead of you, (and I do realise youve been through this before) do you think you would want to know at this stage? I know you dont want to burden your dad, and you do know him best after all. Its just something to think on.

Ham Slicer

No need to worry yet. Wait and see what your consultant says and how advanced the cancer is.

You are actually very old to get testicular cancer as it's known as a young mans cancer. That's not a bad thing.

Your GP would have no idea how good or bad the prognosis is as all he can feel is the lump. The consultant will organise an ultrasound and blood tests and he will assess from there. So don't take your GPs lack of words as bad news.

Testicular cancer has a very high recovery rate.

I fund a lump about 6 yrs ago (I was 27) and had the ball removed within a week. Simple procedure and reasonably painless afterwards. No fertility problems either.

My cancer actually came back (which was very unusual) three yrs ago and I had a a few doses of chemo which wasn't that bad followed by a big operation which also wasn't that bad. I'm still getting check-ups, in fact I was only there yesterday and all is well.

So hold your horses before you call Masseys.

Beruthiel

Numb wrote: »

Hi folks, thanks a million for your replies.
Beruthiel, my doctor also wanted me to talk to someone. Why? I mean I can understand that it'll help some people, but all my life I've kept thing to myself.
I'm a complete extrovert and I've been blessed with a lot of truly great people I can call friends, but I keep my personal life very personal. I'm of the impression that I can deal with this myself, regardless of the outcome, so why burden someone else? (...other than you guys )

Because to have something like this is a very lonely place to be. Having support from people around you can be of great help.
Personally I couldn't cope with something like this without the help of those who cared for me. I'd also like to be there to help those close to me if it happened to them.
I don't believe it's a healthy thing to keep things bottled up. You sound strong and well together, but you're not superman either. It's a good thing to allow people to be there for you.
Whatever you decide, I hope all goes well for you.

Feel free to post as much as you wish in this forum, that's what it's here for.

LegacyUser

Firstly, ellenmelon, don't apologies for making light, I'd rather that approach. As far as I'm concerned, this has happened, there isn't bloody much I can do about that now, so let's get on with it!

KtK wrote: »

Just from a different perspective though, do consider your family here. If another member of your family was going through this instead of you, (and I do realise youve been through this before) do you think you would want to know at this stage?

Cheers KtK, I know what you mean, but there isn't really anything my poor ould can do about it except worry, and he's already lost a wife and parents to it, so I'd like him to get this christmas out of it if you know what I mean.

Hamslicer wrote:

My cancer actually came back (which was very unusual) three yrs ago and I had a a few doses of chemo which wasn't that bad followed by a big operation which also wasn't that bad. I'm still getting check-ups, in fact I was only there yesterday and all is well.

Sorry to hear that man. I hope you're over the worst of it.
How long was the recovery for the operation? (the first op) Will I be out of commission for long?

Hamslicer wrote:

So hold your horses before you call Masseys.

No fear there, I don't see this taking me down to be honest. Maybe further down the road, but not yet.

Lux23

Hello. Im sorry to hear about your illness and I wish you the best of luck with beating which im sure you will:)

I think you should tell your father about your illness not just for your own sake as you really need someone to support you. But your Dad will be upset when he hears that you chose to deal with this on your own for so long. No matter how old we are our parents always feel responsible for us and he will want to support you through this difficult time. Once you get it off your chest you will feel so much better, I promise.

moco

Sorry to hear about your illness, I hope you get better soon. I understand you not wanting to tell your dad yet, I've often thought about what I'd do in your situation and I think I'd handle it the same way. Make sure you post on here any time you want though, as it helps to talk to someone even if it's just us!

justsomebloke

Numb wrote: »

I'm of the impression that I can deal with this myself, regardless of the outcome, so why burden someone else? (...other than you guys )

OP if you don't want to burden anyone else why are you posting here?

moco

jsb wrote: »

OP if you don't want to burden anyone else why are you posting here?

Do you feel burdened by his post?

Oryx

jsb wrote: »

OP if you don't want to burden anyone else why are you posting here?

cos were anonymous strangers who will not carry the burden of worry for the OP.

Jonnykitedude

jsb wrote: »

OP if you don't want to burden anyone else why are you posting here?

Wow some people!!!

Best of luck dude

the_syco

Numb wrote: »

I lost my mother to cancer and all my grandparents died from it, so I guess it was inevitable.

It was also inevitable for a treatment to be made to treat it. Unfortunately, some cancers were not treatable, but I'd say your tumor could be removed in this day and age, so chin up; it may be sorted before xmas.

tbh

feel free to post in Long Term Illness as well, numb, and you can post anonomously. A Few people in there have kicked cancers ass from here to Galway

Beruthiel

moco wrote: »

Do you feel burdened by his post?

I honestly do not see what point you are trying to make with a comment like that.
Further more, it's of no help whatsoever to the OP, kindly refrain from posting on this forum if you cannot be of help.

moco

Beruthiel wrote: »

I honestly do not see what point you are trying to make with a comment like that.
Further more, it's of no help whatsoever to the OP, kindly refrain from posting on this forum if you cannot be of help.

JSB was questioning why the OP was posting about his illness if he didn't want to burden anyone else.

I didn't see how his posts could be a burden to strangers on this forum, that's why I asked JSB if he felt burdened by it.

vandermeyde

A positive outlook with a determination not to let this get the better of you and you'll be on the right track.

Hopefully the specialist has good news after the biopsy.

Good luck, you CAN beat this.

Beruthiel

moco wrote: »

JSB was questioning why the OP was posting about his illness if he didn't want to burden anyone else.

I didn't see how his posts could be a burden to strangers on this forum, that's why I asked JSB if he felt burdened by it.

Apologies moco,
I had intended to use JSB's quote as I was directing my comments towards him, not you.
That will teach me to moderate PI and talk to a supplier on the phone at the same time.

Now,
nothing to see here... lets get back to the OP *cough*

moco

Beruthiel wrote: »

Apologies moco,
I had intended to use JSB's quote as I was directing my comments towards him, not you.
That will teach me to moderate PI and talk to a supplier on the phone at the same time.

Now,
nothing to see here... lets get back to the OP *cough*

No probs

Ham Slicer

Numb wrote: »

Sorry to hear that man. I hope you're over the worst of it.
How long was the recovery for the operation? (the first op) Will I be out of commission for long?

No fear there, I don't see this taking me down to be honest. Maybe further down the road, but not yet.

That's the spirit. I never thought for a second that it would get the better of me. Positive attitude is the only way. I'm three yrs post second op and chemo at this stage and all is well.

The first op was very simple. Maybe out or work for a week or two from what I can recall. The worst pain was from the itch of having being shaved down below. I still recall the day I was in town and I had to go in to the toilets in Arnotts for a scratch - the relief was unreal.

I caught mine very early so no chemo was required the first time around just the op. Each case is different but as I said before the success rate is excellent. If you're going to get cancer - testicular is the one to get.

diamondp

No fear there, I don't see this taking me down to be honest. Maybe further down the road, but not yet.[/quote]


Well fair play. if there was every an attitude that will get you through this its yours. You defo seem to be a strong person and don't forget if you do feel the need to talk to anyone there are plenty of us on this site that will listen and try and give good advise. Good luck at the hospital today

justsomebloke

jsb wrote: »

OP if you don't want to burden anyone else why are you posting here?

wow it seems the reason I asked went over everyone head.

The reason I asked the question is because the OP stated that he didn't won't to burden anyone but yet came here to talk to people about it. So I was trying to get the OP to actually think about whether he actually wants to have somebody to talk to about having cancer.

I have a funny feeling the OP would dearly love to talk to someone about this but is using the same macho **** that every irish male uses where it is easier to talk to a bunch of random strangers rather then using the built up support group which they already have in place i.e. their family. OP you aren't going to be burdening your family by talking to them that is what they are there for, if nothing else it will probably make christmas even more special as they will actually focus properly on each other over christmas and be more grateful for the time they have with each other

pablo23

Very sorry to hear you have found a lump. I was in exactly the same boat two years ago next january. I found a lump too. Had to go the an Euroligist also. Eventually after many scan i had a n operation and they decided to remove my right testicle. After test were run on the removed testicle i proved i hadan agreesive form of tumour and had to have chemo as a precautionary measure. Thankfully it hadn't spread anywhere else.
Anyway a year and a half on i'm completely clear and have made a full recovery. I'm not going to lie the chemo was tough but i got through it. Hopefully you may not need to go through it too. Remember Testicluar cancer is the most successful to treat its 98% success rate. I have no doubts you will make a full recovery. I told my family and yes it was worrying but we all got through it and i'm as healthy as ever. True i lost old "righty" in the op but i have had no complications.
The irish Cancer society helped me greatly and i would suggest you join them online and ask them anything you like regarding the cancer.
Hope all goes well for you.

Ham Slicer

jsb wrote: »

I have a funny feeling the OP would dearly love to talk to someone about this but is using the same macho **** that every irish male uses where it is easier to talk to a bunch of random strangers rather then using the built up support group which they already have in place i.e. their family. OP you aren't going to be burdening your family by talking to them that is what they are there for, if nothing else it will probably make christmas even more special as they will actually focus properly on each other over christmas and be more grateful for the time they have with each other

Of course he should talk to his family but if his preference is to go to the consultant on his own he should probably wait until afterwards to speak to his family when he has more information.

I don't think he's acting macho in any way. People deal with things in different ways. I treated mine like I had the flu. I just got on with it.

Best of luck OP with the consultant and keep us posted as to how you get on.

LegacyUser

Hi folks thanks for the great feedback, particularly those who've experience.
As for why I initally posted here JSB, I take your point; perhaps I do wish to talk about it, but I'd rather not talk to anyone I know about it. Personally, life is how it is, my telling someone else, is just going to add worry to them - a worry they can't control. Alternatively perhaps I view keeping it to myself as a private penance? I don't know. What I do know is that I'd rather someone who knew me personally not treat me any different because of this, or feel certain things need to be tip-toed around.
I'll agree it is easier for me to talk to a stranger and know they don't know me, and if Boards wasn't here, I wouldn't be able to do this, but I don't believe it's out of trying to be macho.
I also fail to see how explaining to my father that his son now has the same disease he watched his parents and wife lose a slow a painful battle to, will make his christmas?!? (sorry that sounds a bit snappy, I don't mean to be, but the point stands)

tbh

well - reverse the situation. If it were your dad - wouldn't you want to help him? although man, I'm not passing any judgement, whatever way you want to play it, you do it.

LegacyUser

tbh wrote: »

well - reverse the situation. If it were your dad - wouldn't you want to help him? although man, I'm not passing any judgement, whatever way you want to play it, you do it.

I see that point, I do. Don't get me wrong, I will tell him. Just after he's enjoyed christmas. I'm not making sense?

MagicMarker

OP: Don't worry dude, test cancer is one of the most easily dealt with. There's a high probability that after some treatment you'll be right as rain.

Best of luck with it man.

HJ Simpson

Hi sorry to here you have a tumor. Anyway a mate had one very recently. He works in a hospital and the consultant wanted to take a testical straight away. He refused and insisted on a biopsy which as it turns out was not cancer. So insist on this course if you can.

Best of luck

fasty

This type of cancer has a very high survival rate, especially when caught early so while it's a nightmare, it's one you have a good chance of waking up from - albeit less one ball.

If you have a course of chemo or radiotherapy recommended to you, take it. The experience is horrible but it seriously reduced the risk of the cancer coming back and it catches any spreading too. Just make sure you put some sperm on ice before getting it done as it can effect fertility.

I also STRONGLY recommend you tell your family and friends, it's one of the reasons they're there and going through something like this alone could drive even the most macho man to tears. If you need to have an op to remove one of your balls, then investigate also getting your testosterone levels measured before and after. Sometimes the drop in this hormone can mess people up after the op.

k-a-t-e

Hi OP - won't say sorry as I've never understood that when someone's ill or has lost a relative. You appear to have the right mental attitude, hope all goes well. Let us know how you get on with the cons etc etc If you wanna talk/msn/pm then feel free, not just about your testicles either;)

best wishes
Kate

LegacyUser

...well I'm just back from the Urologist, and he told me the lump I felt isn't the intimidate concern, that the ultrasound showed a tumour within the testicle.
So I'm not happy. Why?
Well it's not because of the result. The man was rude. Never mind the situation I'm in, he was just rude. I asked two simple questions:

1) if I have the op to remove the testicle, how long before I can have sex again, which he pretty much turned up his nose at, was quite condescending and I felt, was very complacent. He left me feeling like I'd asked a stupid question. That "I should know better".
2) I asked him when exactly he'd get back to me. (he said we'd move quickly so he'd check the scans monday, and perhaps have the op tuesday) At this he snapped at me. Giving out to me that this landed on his desk; that he had to talk the radiologist; that he'd get back to me when he can be it morning or afternoon or whenever. I asked this question because I'll need to take a week off work as very short notice for fu(k sake.

I mean, what if I was very upset about the whole thing? What an a$shole. I understand people ar under pressure, and can have off days, but I'm not paying a consultation fee to get treated like that - I wouldn't stand for that if I was ordering a meal, so why do I have to put up with it now?

Sorry for the rant folks, and I'm not going to let this get me down, but in fairness though...

LegacyUser

That's a bit of a bummer alright.

But, hey - 2 words :

Lance Armstrong

CathyMoran

Hi,

I had oesophageal cancer a year ago and I kicked its ass! It is not an easy time so you really should tell your friends and family so that you have support. I rang the Irish Cancer Society a lot when I was being diagnosed and they were great. I got married 2 weeks after finishing chemo so there is life during treatment. Take care.

otwb

I'm sure that you found this already, but www.cancer.ie - the Irish Cancer Society Website will have fact sheets and information for you. They also have a help line. Talk to them - it doesn't matter what you say or when you decide to call them.

Also, if you are not comfortable with your team then ask for a referral to another service/consultant. You don't have to accept rudeness and unhelpful remarks just because someone has a medical degree.

Best of luck.

mike65

Numb, pretty every consultant is like this. They often have the bed-side manner of a taxi-driver. When my sister was talking to one regarding our mother she said he was less than helpful at times and certainly did'nt welcome unasked for "input".

Good luck with the treatment

Mike.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Hey

Can understand you not telling friends & family, last thing I'd want is everyone treating me like I'm about to drop dead in the next 5 seconds(which is what most people do for the most minor of illnesses!) I'd only tell one of my immediate family & very few friends.

Woul, definitely tell a counsellor though. Problem shared is a problem halved etc

Victor

I was close to someone who had a testicular cyst. I wasn't told what it was until I visited him in hospital.

Numb wrote: »

My doctor suggested I tell my dad, but I've decided not to tell him till after Christmas, he doesn't need the worry.

Well, if you need to have an op next week, then I suppose you have to tell someone.

The talking isn't for them, its for you mostly. While you might feel brave and capable now, something in the future, something small just might be the straw that broke the camal's back. Tea and a chat / tea and sympathy are important. Been there, fallen down.

Kipperhell

I actually went for the same test today. I hadn't told my wife as her father is in the middle of treatment for cancer. I told her a hour before the test. It saved her stress and she was grateful. She was quite adamant that if there had been a problem she would want to know.
I think if you know the situation you should share it with people who really need to know. I completely understand the protection element. People could get very hurt if they aren't told. family and friends actually want to be there for you. If you don't share bad times you can't really enjoy the good times. Your father has suffered before but realistically you have a very good chance.

As for the doctor, I understand how many appear. He should probably not do the job but focus your energy on yourself and those around you.

January

Numb wrote: »

...well I'm just back from the Urologist, and he told me the lump I felt isn't the intimidate concern, that the ultrasound showed a tumour within the testicle.
So I'm not happy. Why?
Well it's not because of the result. The man was rude. Never mind the situation I'm in, he was just rude. I asked two simple questions:

1) if I have the op to remove the testicle, how long before I can have sex again, which he pretty much turned up his nose at, was quite condescending and I felt, was very complacent. He left me feeling like I'd asked a stupid question. That "I should know better".
2) I asked him when exactly he'd get back to me. (he said we'd move quickly so he'd check the scans monday, and perhaps have the op tuesday) At this he snapped at me. Giving out to me that this landed on his desk; that he had to talk the radiologist; that he'd get back to me when he can be it morning or afternoon or whenever. I asked this question because I'll need to take a week off work as very short notice for fu(k sake.

I mean, what if I was very upset about the whole thing? What an a$shole. I understand people ar under pressure, and can have off days, but I'm not paying a consultation fee to get treated like that - I wouldn't stand for that if I was ordering a meal, so why do I have to put up with it now?

Sorry for the rant folks, and I'm not going to let this get me down, but in fairness though...

If you feel uncomfortable with your consultant then change him asap. My dad had testicular cancer and the consultant he had was down right lazy and had a bad attitude. Never bothered to give my dad a scan and as a result they caught the tumor late and he had to have a more serious operation than needed. He also had to have longer sessions of chemotherapy.

As a result of this the cancer also spread to his lung and he had to have half of that removed also. He's suing him for malpractice now and it's taken longer than ten years for him to recover.

Anyway, my point is, if your not happy with him change him, because I'd say you'd rather have piece of mind about your illness than some snotty consultant turning his nose up to you because you're asking simple questions about the operation.

Sorry to hear about your illness and I wish you all the best with it. You'll pull through it if you're strong, and you seem like a strong guy.

Jeapy

Heya OP. Sorry to hear about all your troubles. i have no words of wisdom for you but I just wanted to say good luck. x

giddyup

I would agree with adrieanne x there although in fairness you may feel like you just want to get this done - but nobody should have to put up with a ****ty attitude from a doctor - they are glorified human mechanics.

I told a consultant I was dealing with that I wasn't happy with the overall level of care he was providing and in fairness to him he rectified it and has been great ever since.

Stay healthy and thanks (seriously) for the reminder to have a rummage in the old t-bag which I've been doing as I was reading through the thread.

drdre

Very sorry to hear that, Best thing is tell your dad and make appointments with the doctors and get it sorted asap.You should be fine the chances of recovery are very high.

Pythia

Sending you good luck and get well soon vibes!

randylonghorn

giddyup wrote: »

... they are glorified human mechanics.

In fairness, surgeons in particular can be like this ... they tend to want to concentrate on fixing the car, preferably with the least possible interaction with the owner! :rolleyes:

And I know this doesn't work well with humans, but the more important question at the moment may be: is he a good mechanic? What is his rep as a surgeon, whatever about his bedside manner? It's not your hand you most need him to hold right now, it's your ... ok, let's not go there!

Seriously, one of the best surgeons I have known was horrendous when it came to interaction with his patients. He knew it, too, and left as much of that as he possibly could to his registrars. But the man was truly gifted with a knife in his hand, and I for one would breathe a sigh of relief if there was something seriously wrong with me and he was there to sort it. And he genuinely did care about his patients, working long hours, popping in over weekends to check on them, etc. etc. Unfortunately, he was quite likely to bark at them in the process, so many of them didn't really appreciate him appearing at their bedside at 7 on a Sunday morning ...!

On the other issue, OP, I think I understand where you're coming from. I tend to complain bitterly about every head cold to anyone I can dragoon into listening ... but when I had a serious scare a couple of years ago I told nobody until it was all over (I was lucky, turned out to be a false alarm). I found it easier not having to deal with others' reactions / fears, I had quite enough work dealing with my own. I know however that if things had turned out differently there would have come a time when I just needed to talk to someone ... the trick is not to be stubborn when you reach that point.

Oh, and I also know someone who had a ball removed for the same reason, and chemo afaik (I don't know him well). I do know he's had two kids since, so sounds like things are still very much in working order!