How do i motivate her

jozi

Bit of back ground 1st.

My GF started a part time college course after the summer, this is doing assignments on a regular basis and going to the college for 2 days once a month or so.

She works during the day, quite a busy work place as i understand it.

Problem is she gets home after work, relaxes for a bit, says she will do her work later and then never ends up doing it that evening.

Ive tried so often to get her to finish it. So often i know shes (for some reason i cant use proper punctuation here, something with firefox and unrelated???) getting sick of me trying to get her to do work, im getting fed up my self to. It just really annoys me that she wasting her time by doing other things 1st. The way i see it is if she gets it finished the sooner the better, she has something less to worry about because she has her project done. I get to spend some more time with her doing things (am i being selfish here?).

She has up until now not yet managed to hand up 1 project on time, her 1st project was late - not to her own fault - which set of a chain reaction of the others being handed up late. From my point of view she has had plenty of time to get back on track with hand ups, im sure she realizes this to. She loses marks with her late handups, from 3 results back she got good grades that with the penalty became alright grades. Shes good and the mark are just letting her down imo.

I recently went away for a weekend (this goes for many more social activities like cinema, go out etc) really wanted her to come but she knew she would be busy with college projects and there fore was unable to join me, over the summer we went to the cinema on a regular basis now she cant find the time.

How can i encourage her to finish(slash)start project earlier or on time so she can finish them on time (instead of sitting around doing nothing when she should be doing her college work or do other things such as), get the grade she deserves, has more time for her self to do things, go to the cinema, spend some more time with me etc etc

Jozi

As an aside, im not trying to be selfish here, i really would like her to get her college work in on time and i believe if she got that she would have so much more free time to her self as a result.

fuzzywiggle

I don't think you're being selfish at all. You're being a great boyfriend really. I'm trying to think here of ways in which you could motivate her but I cant think of any.
Last year in college i was worse than that, hardly went in, did f*ck all, had to do 3 repeats and then passed..because of havin to do the repeats i thought ''f*ck that i'm not goin through that again next summer!" and this year i'm a new woman, in all the time, getting great results and all that so from my experience she 1.maybe needs a good scare, which she might actually get if she keeps it up and 2.she has to want to do it herself.
If you've said what you've written in your post to her, then that really should put some spring in her step.
Good luck!

padser

Its her choice when she does her work. It would drive me absolutely mental if my GF nagged me to do my homework.

My first reaction would be to procrastinate more - out of stubborness

If she continued she would be gone.

No one tells me how to run my life and when to do my work (with the possible exception of lecturers who give deadlines) - certainly not my partner.

Im not surprised she is getting annoyed with you. You need to learn to mind your own business to be honest

Harpy

right now i should be doing college work have to study for an exam,do a presentation and do 3 essays by sunday but still i'm here browsing through boards...i find i can't do my work unless im under pressure so they usually end up being night before jobs..when i try do work early i get distracted really easily,i always have great plans of getting the work done but its hard especially for your girlfriend if she's working as well during the day its hard to get assignments done when your tired after working.. maybe you could help her make a timetable out of evenings she could work on her projects maybe just do an hour a night on them..but don't nag her about doing them its the most annoying thing ever she's probably stressed already with work and college the last thing she needs is for ye to be fighting over her work just try support her..
when it comes down to it it's her decision to hand them in late so if that's what she wants to do there's not much you can do

AngryBadger

While I understand your concern, if she's getting enough marks to pass her course then what difference does it make?

It sounds like she's doing one of the distance learning degrees from UCD? 2 days of block lectures every 6 weeks or so? A few exams at Christmas, a few during the summer, and assignments to be handed up.

On the one hand I can see why it would bother you if she was fialing because of this, but she's not, and you've already gone above and beyond the call of trying to get her to shape up.

At this stage you've done as much as you can, and even if she's failing, then it's up to her, you can't do the work for her. And besides, it sounds like she's passing, and she's not going to appreciate you pressuring her to do better.

kaalgat

I agree with fuzzywiggle

I started first year in uni just over 3 years back, and spent the whole of 1st year messing about and doing anything but work/study.
That year I had to repeat 2 exams and I hated that I didn't get to go away on a summer holiday because I had to study.
Since then I have worked really hard for all exams and have never needed to repeat any.

Maybe she just needs a scare.

Pigletlover

You're not being selfish but I think you'll have to accept that you can't make your girlfriend study. She sounds exactly like me. I know a couple of months in advance that I have an exam coming up but I can't study till the week before it. I just can't seem to get into the right frame of mind until I know it's just around the corner. I never have enough time to study everything so I have to leave sections out, I always swear that I'm going to leave enough time to study for my next exam, but I never do. At this stage I've realised that I'm just not cut out for studying. I think I'd be better suited to hands on training, maybe your girlfriend would be too. As long as she's passing exams that's the main thing so I'd ease off on the nagging if I was you.