My sister is nasty

lisajane

My sister has been nasty towards me for the past 5 years or so. Whenever i say anything or just open my mouth for whatever reason, she would tell me to f off or say something nasty or come out with a groan as if to say leave me alone or f off.
Its been going on every day for the past 5 or 6 years. It came to the point i just say the minimum of words to her if i have to at all cause i cant bear her attitude.
Its not PMS, i dont see how anyone can have that 24/7 365 days and multiply that by 5.
I dont know what i did wrong to get such an attitude.
What can i possibly say to her before i fix that problem of hers myself by punching her in her face.

biko

Age? Live together etc?

goodlad

Maybe she just doesn't like you? Just dont talk to her! yeah she is your sister but if she is really as bad as you say then ****it why care anymore!

lisajane

We're both 25. Twins. And still living at home. Its not sibling rivalry either. Not at 25.

craichoe

lisajane wrote: »

My sister has been nasty towards me for the past 5 years or so. Whenever i say anything or just open my mouth for whatever reason, she would tell me to f off or say something nasty or come out with a groan as if to say leave me alone or f off.
Its been going on every day for the past 5 or 6 years. It came to the point i just say the minimum of words to her if i have to at all cause i cant bear her attitude.
Its not PMS, i dont see how anyone can have that 24/7 365 days and multiply that by 5.
I dont know what i did wrong to get such an attitude.
What can i possibly say to her before i fix that problem of hers myself by punching her in her face.

Maybe Jealousy ?
Do you have a better job or something ?

monkeyfudge

25? Her attitude is probably never going to change then.

I have a sister who is a few years oder than me and all my life she was horrible to me... When she had a kid I made an effort to be more civil towards her as he was a good kid... but eventually her disdain for me reached a point where I couldn't go on with anymore... so for the past 5 years I've had nothing to do with her.

Some people are just jerks, and just because they're family doesn't mean you have to put up with it.

Although I must admit that it is a bit sad that two twins can't get along.

Procasinator

lisajane wrote: »

We're both 25. Twins. And still living at home. Its not sibling rivalry either. Not at 25.

I sure you have (being twins, just being siblings, you should be close enough to), but if not, have you actually asked her what is the matter with her? Just a "What's your problem with me?" and don't budge till she gives you an answer.

It quite sad that at the age of 25 you can't be close friends, especially considering you haven't indicated that you 2 share a troubled past. Just that she got grumpy. Now I'm trying to slip into the question are you both hot without bringing it to anyones attention?

She might be holding a grudge, or she might just be discontent with her life and taking it out on people close to her. Does she get along with other siblings (if you have them) and parents? Are you 2 competitive?

It's hard to offer advice without knowing more detail. If this is all you know, it is hard to rectify the situation as she might just not like you for no reason other than cause she feels like it.

Beruthiel

lisajane wrote: »

We're both 25. Twins. And still living at home. Its not sibling rivalry either. Not at 25.

Have you tried talking to her about it?

moco

My sister can be like that with me too. I don't know why. It's like she got into a teenage strop and never got out of it, she's now 26. We get on fine when we're not together over text, phonecalls and e mail but when I see her (only at christmas now) everything I say is met by eye rolling and sighs.

To be honest she's like that with my mum too but mostly me.

It's not jealousy as she's alot better looking and her job is similar.

I suppose this isn't much help to you OP but just so you know you're not the only one and some people are eternally grumpy.

star-pants

My sister (almost 27) and I (24) never really got on. She was jealous of me when we were younger (she was the first in our family and first grandchild).
As we go older we fought more and more. Got to a point where we didn't even have to say anything and we'd annoy the other.
She could ask whatever she liked & expected answers. If you asked about her you'd get 'why?..none of your business'.
I went away to college 2001-2005, she moved to italy in... 2005. . we've gotten on better the past few years. As we've lived apart and both matured a bit. She's copped on a bit about stuff too.
At the end of the day it's a personality clash with us, not much to be done.

that's just us though, I'm not sure what the deal may be with your sister, perhaps try talking to her, tho I can understand if it's not first on your list. It could just be the person she is. (no offence meant, I;m just saying)

*Lees*

I saw a documentary once about twins! While most of them get along and are really close sometimes being known as "one of the twins" or being compared to the other all the time can get to some people and cause them to resent the other twin!! Of course I'm not saying that its the case in your situation but it does sound to me like she's resenting you for some reason!
The only way you will find out whats her problem is by asking her!! She might not even realise that she's being really horrible to you! You said she started behaving like this 5 years ago.. it might have started out as something silly she was annoyed with you because of and she expressed it by throwing her eyes to heaven and tutting and the likes but she could have done this so much that it got like sort of a habit and now she might not even realise she is doing it!!! Talk to her if it's bothering you!

spinandscribble

seriously can everyone cut the "isnt it a shame that two twins cant get along" bull. just because your twins doesnt mean you have a "special bond". it means you have to spend years convincing ppl you have a mind of your own and you dont actually think its great craic to only be called "twin". how can a special bond be created from a situation that for some can be unhealthy for their self esteem? i think nearly all twins have a period where this need to be your own person PULLS you apart.

op im a twin and trust me twins dont always get on. the only twins i know that get on really well are ones who are into the whole "im not a person on my own, i need a twin so i can justify my existence by dressing identical and doing the same thing with my hair ect ect"
we're in our early 20s and like you its my sister pushing me away. i know its because of problems outside of me that shes having and she likes to take it out on me though. its family **** but instead of realising im going through it too she just assumes its all about her. i used to be quite slim while she was overweight (not by much mind) and i had a easier time getting lads but all thats changed since so i know its not jealous anymore. I GET ON SLIGHTLY BETTER WITH HER SINCE SHE MOVED OUT.

i used to live with my twin but she moved out of my place this year. at 26 i think the pair of you need to fly the nest, it cant be healthy for the pair of ya.

OH AND I'VE TRIED THE WHOLE "ASKING WHAT HER PROBLEM IS". didnt work i think she needed up smacking me for it. all she says is she doesnt like me and if i wasnt her sister she wouldnt even stand me. op you can ask but dont expect too much if shes usually unwilling to talk to you.

MagicMarker

Have you tried moving out?

spinandscribble

seriously moving out is the answer. i mean you are 26

junkster12345

im 28 and have not moved out yet ! waiting on the missus to finish college and we r gonna buy a gaff, dont speak to ur sis for a few days, if ye dont speak then ye cant annoy each other, i bet u a tenner she will come to you first, thats just women !

craichoe

lisajane wrote: »

We're both 25. Twins. And still living at home. Its not sibling rivalry either. Not at 25.

Actually ...

What in christ's name are you living at home for when your 25 !?

Get your own place and get out into the world, the longer you leave it the harder it is and clearly the environment your in isnt nice at all

Pigletlover

lisajane wrote: »

We're both 25. Twins. And still living at home. Its not sibling rivalry either. Not at 25.

They're 25, not 26. But OP you should seriously consider moving out. And I know it's easier said than done but try not to let it get to you, as people said you don't HAVE to get on with her just because she's your sister. You wouldn't let a friend treat you the way your sister is so don't take it from her.

Lands Leaving

Does your mechanic happen to be her boyfriend??

Seriously though, some people are just nasty and staying away from them is your best bet. Ask her what her problem is and if you get no joy just stop talking to her.

echosound

Best thing you can do is move out and live in seperate places.

Living with someone and having to interact with them daily about mundane household stuff can drive even the best of friends mad (I've seen this happen when best friends decide to get a flat together and end up at each other's throats, once they found other living arrangements they were back to being best friends again).

At 25, you both should really be thinking of flying the nest really. Once ye get out from under each other's feet (and your parent's feet too) you'll probably find that ye get along better when you do see each other. Myself and my mother fought like cat and dog for years until I moved out at 18 to go to college, and we get on grand now, it's the constant "in your face" ness of it that ends in arguments.

Overheal

So ask yourself what happened to the both of you 5 years ago? How were you together 10 years ago?

TBH it does sound like a case of one twin resenting the other. Could have happened any way. Did you ever see Sister Sister on the Disney Channel? Maybe its possible something happened to you that she wanted for herself (like a boyfriend or something?)

Of course I'm just firing blanks into the dark here - too little to aim off of.

As for the age and the home living, I suppose that has to be addressed doesnt it. If she really resented you she might have moved out already - or maybe she wishes you'd both move out together or something? I don't know - no experience with twins. I do agree with committing to a little Separation though: it really can mend what you think are degrading relationships. For example I left my 3 siblings to live with my Dad when I was 10.1/2 and now me and the sibs get on a lot better than we would have. Same with the Padre: moving out to college saw the pulsing vein in his neck disappear

Are you both Female? Identical?

ShawnRaven

It's been said a few times already, but move out. Find some guys at work who are sharing a place with a vacant spot, for a better vibe, or if finances are good, get your own little place, do it up and move on. I did it a few years ago, rented a place for year when i was at loggerheads with my mom (and we had a very hot/cold relationship), and it was the best move i'd made at the time.

VR!

mayordenis

have you ever askes matter-of-factly why shes like this to you?