Just wondering??...

LegacyUser

...what people's opinions are in relation to couples getting engaged after dating for a year. For e.g. "it's great" OR "are yee nuts"??!!
All opinions welcome. A few people i've known have got engaged early on in their relationship, I personally don't feel you could know someone enough after only a year together to get engaged, however I do appreciate the concept of people knowing that they were gonna spend their life together after 1year of being together but proposing??!! Is that a bit drastic??

finkaboutit555

If feels right then whats wrong with it?

my Parents were engaged after six weeks dating and married after six months, And went on to have 38yrs of happy marrage (My Father passed away 2yrs ago)

On The other hand my Eldest Brother, Dated his Girlfriend for 9 Years before getting married and just two weeks ago had their second child... He dated he for so long because the guy is SOOO laid back and mam spoilt him rotten,Not because he was waiting to see if she was the one..

LegacyUser

Nothing at all, I was engaged to my (now) Wife after 8 weeks and on the 17th December this year it will be our 3rd anniversary, if it feels right, DO IT!

Misticles

ive been with my bf for just 6 months, and already we both know its for keeps. we've spoken of enagagements. possibly next year sometime . both of us have had serious relationships before so we're not as naive as we once were.
when ya know ya know, and whats the harm in showing that by wanting to get married. each to their own. everyones gonna have their own take on it.

Aseth

according to some scientist longer you're in relationship than slimmer your chances of getting married
Not sure how it is in RL but ie my teacher got married after few months(!) and is happy, has 2 children. Her reasoning being they wanted to get married while they still loved each other

It may not work for everyone but more or less you can say how do you feel about getting engaged after a year or so.
Besides getting engaged doesn't mean you are getting married the next day. IMHO you can be engaged as long as you wish to and then decide if you want to take next step.

Silverfish

I know three couples.

One bought a house after a year together. Blissfully happy.

Another got married after 6 months. This was 12 years ago, still very happily married.

The third got married after, get this, three months. That was 5 years ago, still happily married.

I think when you know, you know. That's what they all said, anyway.

Requiem4adream

agree with all said so far. If it feels right for both of you then it's right, dont let anybody tell you otherwise. There are no rules in life and no need to follow common practices or society norm's for the sake of it.

K_P

Slightly off-topic maybe but I've noticed a trend of people being in long-term relationships in their 20s, breaking up in their late 20s (often due to one wanting to get married and the other not) and both parties settling down (marriage, kids, etc) VERY quickly in their next relationship.

I wonder is it something to do with the fact that it's been so long since they've started a relationship, they'd forgotten all the amazing feelings that go along with the start of ALL relationships, mistake it for the kind of love they've never ever had before and settle down very quickly as a result.

Just a thought. Back to the topic, when you know it's right, you just know. A year isn't that short a time at all.

NextSteps

No matter what you do, everyone will have an opinion on it! Go with gut instinct.

Femelade

My sister was engaged after an 8 month relationship..they are happily married now for 5 yrs with 2 adorable kids.
i am with my boyfriend with 15 months, we have talked seriously about marriage....i'd happily marry him in the morning.

LegacyUser

thanks for the replies, I agree with whats said as mentioned in my first post when you know, you know, i'm in my mid 20's and have noticed an increase in the amount of people getting engaged after a short time together. i've been with my boyfriend for 5great years, and have talked about marraige, we both knew in the first few months that we would get married. however i guess im just wondering what is the rush to get engaged? i appreciate the fact that people are hugely in love in the first year of a relationship, but the big question is after 5years would they be as in love through their ups and downs, everythings great in the first year?
i also appreciate that people as mentioned in other posts have known people to get engaged early and have a happy marraige.

echosound

You'll always get people making noises about either the suddenness of the engagement, or the lack of getting engaged after a good few years.

It's up to the couple themselves at the end of the day, who's to say what's acceptable and what's not?

From my own experience, I got proposed to after just 3 weeks of dating (although our situation might have been slightly different in that we were good friends before we worked up the courage to admit how we felt, so 3 weeks in we were pretty sure that this was "the one", and didn't have to worry about any nasty surprises cropping up, due to knowing each other well before dating) but didn't announce it "officially" until about the 2 year mark - mainly due to not wanting the whole song and dance about how it was too soon, are you both mad, etc.

We're married 2 years now, got married at 26, and in total have been together just over 5 years, and to answer your question about whether we're as much in that loved up state in year 5 as we were in the first year,the answer is yes, even moreso, and I'm only sorry we didn't get married when we wanted to (ie the first year) instead of waiting a while to avoid the "are ye mad" comments.

That was what was right for us - however that's not to say that it's right for everybody, as you yourself say you're quite happy and in no rush to get married, and that's what is right for you. I don't think there was a rush to get engaged on our part, it was just that we had both been through long term relationships before, and just knew this one was the right one., and didn't see any point hanging about.
If you'd asked me before I started dating my now husband if I had any intentions of ever getting married, I'd have laughed and said I didn't believe in marriage. Thing is, I just hadn't found the right person who I'd want to marry at that stage!

ntlbell

I'm not sure what your expecting from asking this question.

Everyone's take on it is different.

I think people who get married are nuts full stop.

Some people think less than 5 years and two of those years must be living together is nuts.

Some people think it's fine after a few weeks.

Some people think the only people who get married are insecure morons or looking for some sort of financial security which I'm not sure marriage generates such securities anymore if ever.

do your own thing.

biko

I know 2 couples that got engaged after about a year and then married after another. Both still going strong (>10 years).

January

With my other half 9 months now and got engaged at the weekend. If you feel like it's the right thing to do, then do it. Don't let anyone else hold you back because you will resent them.

Victor

If you think its all a bit sudden, either hold off for a few months (Valentines Day, romantic weekend away, summer holidays) or alternatively, go for a long engagement.