Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Phone Operator Jokes

  • 03-12-2007 5:10pm
    #1
    BRIAN1956
    Closed Accounts Posts: 130 ✭✭


    Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
    through to enquiries, can you help?".
    Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
    Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
    Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++
    Samsung Electronics
    Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
    Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
    about".
    Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
    states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket
    and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for
    Jack?"
    Operator: "I think it means the telephone point on the wall".
    RAC Motoring Services
    Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I
    am travelling in Australia ?"
    Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
    Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France)
    "If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel
    to the other side of the car?"
    Directory Enquiries
    Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff
    please".
    Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
    Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B'
    fell off".
    Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
    Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
    Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in
    Scotland ".
    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
    box told a worried operator:
    "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number
    on".
    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
    Customer: "OK".
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
    until this point?".
    Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote
    'click'".
    Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen,
    can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
    Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just
    realised that I need it.
    If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back
    again?".
    There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
    long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
    is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
    from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to
    say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently
    suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
    (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
    sudden the words went away."
    Operator: "Went away?"
    Caller: "They disappeared."
    Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    Caller: "Nothing."
    Operator: "Nothing??"
    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
    type."
    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
    Caller: "How do I tell?"
    Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
    screen?"
    Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
    accept anything I type."
    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
    Caller: "What's a monitor?"
    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like
    a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
    Caller: "I don't know."
    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
    where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
    Caller: "Yes, I think so."
    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
    it's plugged into the wall.
    Caller: "Yes, it is."
    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
    that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there
    again and find the other cable."
    Caller: "Okay, here it is."
    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
    securely into the back of your computer."
    Caller: "I can't reach."
    Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
    lean way over??"
    Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
    angle - it's because it's dark."
    Operator: "Dark??"
    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only
    light I have is coming in from the window."
    Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Caller: "I can't."
    Operator: "No? Why not??"
    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
    Operator: "A power...................................... A
    power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
    Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
    packing stuff your computer came in??"
    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
    it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store
    you bought it from."
    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
    them??"
    Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a
    computer!!!!!"


Comments

Advertisement