any help would be appreciated... cos i realy need it...

LegacyUser

ok...

heres my story...
ill try to dumb it down else its an absolute essay to read...

but heres the basics...

had my heart destryoed 2 months ago when my at the time girl friend dumped me... she no longer loved me...

this hurt like nohting iv ever experienced...

i honestly thought id be with her forever...

but since... thought i wud get over her... thought i was... hadnt seen her in a month... till friday night... me stupidly drunk(last day of term so had a few... normal amount forgot to factor in i hadnt eaten at all that day)

now i do not remember what was said in this convo just that it happened...

but all i know is she will no longer talk to me... (contact between us had been very little cos i told her i needed space...)

anywya i said terrible things...but as bad as i feel for hurting her(she told me what i said hurt... but didnt say what and she forgives me but she needs space till shes over it??)

what gets to me is this... i turned on her and said those things why? its like iv gone back to when we just broke up... have i gotten over her at all?
i dont think i have... if i had i wudnt of gone off at her would i?

have i just turned my head and been denying feelings and finding other ways to fill voids?
i have noticed im getting unusually close with a mate of mine who is a girl...but... i know she realy has it bad for me... mabey even loves me...
and im always arouund her... even act couply... i dont want anything from her in that way... dont even think if i did i could handle it...

feel i could be hurting her... or leading her on... iv told her most of this... that i can never give her anything and i just want a mate... and she said its ok... yet i know she cares... and im always around her still... i dont know if im hurting her to...
what do i do??

i dont know what i want from u...

i dont know what im thinking...

i cant think straight!

i love this girl.... but am i getting over her? is there a test?

what do i do about my mate?

and before its so much as suggested im not a kid or teen...

im just a very hurt and confused person...

Cathmandooo

Very sorry to hear what you're going through.


For starters 2 months is really not very long at all. It takes an awful long time to get over someone you loved, there's no quick fix.

You lashed out at her because you still love her and you most likely miss her and are feeling very hurt. It's natural to do this (I'm not condoning any sort of violence though).

With regard to this friend of yours, at least you've been honest with her. You need all the friends you can get right now and I think you should be thinking of yourself. Because you've been honest it sounds like this girl (despite her feelings) just wants to be there for you. Keep an eye on your friendship with you but let her be there for you.

I hope I've made some sense anyway.

LegacyUser

sorry for misunderstanding... i didnt lash out physically...

but said things to quote"that didnt believe you were capable of..."

i just dont know how to act or what i should do...

she seems to be so over me...

Overheal

yeah even if youre blacked out we all still manage to be the same person - so theres no Jekyl Switch, if you get me. You probably just took your angst out on her. Let it go and stop worrying about it.

As for your friend: whatever you decide on that, its unfair to burden her with this: it hurts so much to see somebody you care for/love being hurt by their feelings someone else.

estar

you are very confused. i think you are not used to expressing your feelings and feeling hurt. so you suppressed the feelings and when you were
drunk they all just came out. and you dont understand this because you
are normally reserved. this is just another learning experience for you. you are human, and make mistakes and feel things. all you can do is apologise if
you said anything inappropriate once, and then move on. Don't dwell on it too much. You are not the first person to get the dreaded drunk honesty and you wont be the last. Your ex will get over it. So what she won't speak to you. If she really cared that much, she would want to speak to you, so let her go. Concentrate on you. How you are feeling, and what you are feeling.
The whole drunken outburst really seems to me the result of suppressing
what you felt around the break up. so instead feel it, acknowledge it, tell people about it, talk to your friend about it. Its ok to be confused and hurt.
I would say everyone on boards has at one stage or another been hurt, said something they wished they hadnt when drunk, or broken up with someone they loved.

everyone leans on friends too much at one stage or another. and to your credit you care about hurting your friend. well there is one way not to hurt her. and that is not to hurt her. dont promise either openly or through actions an intimacy that you dont intend to fulfill. i imagine you have other friends and family, who are more neutral. lean on them instead if it is a cause of guilt or worry.

no one is dead after your drunken outburst. its not that bad, take this opportunity to learn about yourself and your pressure points. next time you are hurt, dont wait until you are drunk to express it.

best of luck