Worried sick and stupid

LegacyUser

Ok first of all I have been thinking all weekend long about how much of an idiot I have been..

I was out on Thursday night with my work colleagues and got extremely drunk with them. Back to a party in one of the guys houses and I ended up sleeping with one of the girls in the office. I know the girl quite well but am in no waaaaaaaaay interested. Im sick thinking of it. She was not in on Friday but what I am worried sick about is we were fooling around and I inserted .... without protection.

I cant believe i did it - i only left it in for around 30 seconds maybe a bit more before I said to myself I cant be doing something that stupid. Fact is I did leave it in for a minute or so and am digusted with myself. Have been worried sick all weekend about the possibility of her falling pregnant. Im 27 with a lot of life exp etc but I have learnt my lesson with this one....anyone any advice how to deal with this? I know i made my own bed but what are the chances of her getting preg???!

AARRRGH

You didn't come in her?

I read a statistic that says if a healthy man and woman have sex at exactly the right time (exact day of the month) there is only a 1 in 5 chance she'll get pregnant.

So there's a 1 in 28 chance it was the right day, and then there's only 1 in 5 chance she might actually get pregnant. Those odds are definitely in your favour.

There's also the small issue of her probably being on the pill, or her getting the morning after pill.

So I wouldn't worry. I think you're making a huge deal out of a very unlikely scenario.

Stop worrying! It won't make a difference anyway.

Catari Jaguar

She might have gotten the morning after pill. Could have been why she missed work. Also she might be on the pill or something...

LegacyUser

I know it might be unlikely but the smallest possibility of this girl falling preggers for me sounds like the end of the world right now...no kidding I dont like the girl or anything about her for a start-need I go on?!!!....

I was thinking of asking her to take the mornign after pill tomorrow but get the feeling she will tell me im being stupid and that im making a deal out of something small. I just want to do whatever it takes to avoid the nightmare scenarion that would follow pending an unwanted pregnancy.

Aw guys Im a long time poster here and a bible of sensibility but i was so drunk and so stupid that night i really dont know what got into me!! any other advice i really cant even bear to tell my friends i am so embarrassed and worried it means so much to be able to vent here!!

LegacyUser

Sorry I will just add she is definitely not on the pill. she told me .. and also she did not come in but texted me the following day saying she had not left bed all day, from what she has told me she has definitely not got it yet!!

Shellie13

get checked for stis as well...unless u are 100% sure she's no infections...(not to be judemental but if she was ok with unprotected sex with you...)

Maybe talk to her over coffee or something...ask if she got it...lay it down that you dont want to be an assh0le and that you're not looking for anything more...honesty can go along way!

Good luck hope its ok!

SarahSassy

Dont stick you head in the sand about this one... You have to talk to the girl. Ask her if she uses the pill and if not if she managed to get the morning after pill..

You did sleep with her and you dont have to do anything else but at least be pleasant to her when you see her and dont treat her like a one night stand.... You still have to work together.

Overheal

yeah im thinking you both have to sober up about the issue and be adults here: for one, when was the last time either of you was STI tested? When was her last period? Home Pregnancy Test?

Cos you can hide from it all you want but one day you may find you wake up with Ghanorrhea and she wakes up with Morning Sickness :rolleyes: and then everyone considers hopping on a boat.

MayMay

Just talk to her, you'll go insane if you don't.

LegacyUser

I got tested around 7 months ago just before I boke up with long term girlfriend, will get tested again soon.

I know I was stupid and should have known better , i really cant explain nor do i have any excuse for what happened. We will both be fine with each other in terms of work or speaking to each other, Im just worried sick as I said that she would fall preg.

Suppose I will have to speak with her in the morning, dont know how that will go but it beats wishing I wasnt here which I have been doing these past few days!

Im a good guy honestly, just literally one minute of foolishness and Im in the ****!

SarahSassy

Dont beat yourself up. We all do 'silly' things and the best thing you can do it put it out of your head for tonight and talk to her tomorrow. Fingers crossed for you.

MIN2511

Worried Sick989 wrote: »

I got tested around 7 months ago just before I boke up with long term girlfriend, will get tested again soon.

I know I was stupid and should have known better , i really cant explain nor do i have any excuse for what happened. We will both be fine with each other in terms of work or speaking to each other, Im just worried sick as I said that she would fall preg.

Suppose I will have to speak with her in the morning, dont know how that will go but it beats wishing I wasnt here which I have been doing these past few days!

Im a good guy honestly, just literally one minute of foolishness and Im in the ****!

No point crying over spilt milk! What is done is done!
Now if she hasn't taken the morning after pill tonight would be 72hours?
Right! You need to speak to her asap, because not only could she be preggers but you's could have transferred std's to each other.
I dont mean to sound harsh but i recently found out that there are so many stds out there and one night of unprotected sex could do the worst to you.
Let us know how you get on in the morning

AARRRGH

People everywhere have unprotected sex all the time. After all, that is the way you're supposed to have sex.

Stop beating yourself up. What you've done is "normal".

Talk to her tomorrow.

The Sweeper

Worried Sick989 wrote: »

...no kidding I dont like the girl or anything about her for a start-need I go on?!!!....

Bibles of sensibility don't sleep with people they actively don't like or don't like anything about, drunk or not.

Whatever you do, resist the urge to hassle this girl like a bull in a china shop because you're worried about yourself. As others have said, get tested for an STI, and accept that the chance she is pregnant is probably quite slim if you didn't ejaculate and she wasn't in or around time of ovulation.

If this girl likes you and you compound the fact that you used her for sex by not handling your post coital politics carefully, you may end up with a very hurt, offended and vengeful woman on your hands.

Try for: "Can we go for coffee? About last night, I want to apologise because we were very drunk and I realise I was stupid and didn't use protection, if only for a minute. Have you protected yourself in another way? I'm really sorry about this. This was really a one-off thing for me, I'd rather keep our working relationship very professional, I would be uncomfortable if something like this happened again. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

That might get you out of it - there is no easy and decent way to truly sugar cost "I only shagged you because I was pissed and now I'm hoping you just disappear" but there's no point lying about it.

However being diplomatic might work better than "Listen, I don't really like you, and I was pissed or I wouldn't touch you with a bargepole otherwise, but now I'm crappin myself in case you're up the spout so will you go and get yourself the morning after pill?"

There is, of course, every chance that she was using you for sex just as much, but something about the fact that you've announced you like nothing about her makes me think she's into you and so she threw herself at you while you were pissed and, offered it on a plate, you went for it.

LegacyUser

Wow, ok listen up - this girl is not into me. Im glad I need'nt worry about this. We spoke the next morning(extremely early) before she went home and it was very clear both of us were drunk the night before and in no way interested in each other. fact.

Secondly yes I do think of myself as being sensible but I wound up sleeping in the same bed as this girl and one thing led to another. I think this is something that can happen to almost anyone and to be honest I did NOT post here to discuss whether this girl was the one for me but thank you all the same.

My reason for posting is that I had what i consider a moment of madness on my part and wanted some advice about how to react whereby my point of view is that I am ****ting myself worrying I got her pregnant. Thanks for all the advice

The Sweeper

That's fine - it's good that you've both settled the "ooo, how did THAT happen?!" thing with a conversation in the morning. I just had this image of her liking you, finally bedding you, thinking "woohoo we're TOGETHER now!" the way some women can think, only to be met by you being more worried about NOT having a future together.

Hell hath no fury and so on...

In terms of how you should now cope with it, try not to stress too much. She can look after her own fertility, she'll have a good idea of which stage of her cycle she's in, and if she's not stressing, don't you start.

estar

i think its very important that you handle this issue sensitively and kindly, which im sure you are already aware of. have you not a way of getting her phone number, its a pity you werent able to phone her and see how she was.
its probably too late now, if i were you I would not address this issue in work, I would ask her to meet you for dinner (pay) and handle it there, stay with her and chat until you have everything resolved politely, and listen to whatever she has to say.

that way you dont run the risk of being called a bastard and making enemies
as she can only say that you were sensitive to her feelings and kind. although it takes two to tango, if this girl turns out to be keen on you,
then its nice to be nice.

you already seem to have learned from this, so all i have to add, is always carry a condom in your wallet. there are a lot of other things that you can catch rather than a baby!!! STDs are rife in dublin at the moment. you might want to get tested.

best of luck.