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Arrival

  • 01-12-2007 12:21am
    #1
    DonJose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,470 ✭✭✭


    Growing slowly deep inside,
    a seed no longer, now alive,
    once tadpole shaped, now legs and arms,
    safe inside from fears and harms.

    Weeks go by, in size she grows,
    protruding waistline clearly shows,
    against all odds into the light,
    a perfect baby, a mothers delight.


Comments

  • #2
    supertramp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 241 ✭✭supertramp


    DonJose wrote: »
    Growing slowly deep inside,
    a seed no longer, now alive,
    once tadpole shaped, now legs and arms,
    safe inside from fears and harms.

    Weeks go by, in size she grows,
    protruding waistline clearly shows,
    against all odds into the light,
    a perfect baby, a mothers delight.

    Again, i think your work is great. The rhyming is good, not overboard, and the shortness of the poem is good. You say all that's needed, no more, and say it well. Hopefully you will send more....


  • #3
    DonJose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,470 ✭✭✭DonJose


    supertramp wrote: »
    Again, i think your work is great. The rhyming is good, not overboard, and the shortness of the poem is good. You say all that's needed, no more, and say it well. Hopefully you will send more....

    Thanks for the kind words, each piece comes from the heart from recent experiences so they write themselves really.


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