Damnit I Hate Being Me (Blast From The Past)

Kintarō Hattori

I'm just after finishing a MSN Messenger conversation with a young lady that I haven't spoken too in years. I did a course with her about 6 years ago and I had a wee crush on her at the time. She was a little nerdy, independent and absolutely gorgeous, blue eyed and blonde hair.
Anywhoo she was very strong spirited and fecked off travelling for a few years. I hadn't heard from her in years and didn't really expect too again. A few days ago she sent me a message but I was out at the time. She sent me another today and I just finished having a short 'conversation' with her.

Anyway why I hate being me is because I feel elated and on a 'high' just because I was talking to her again. What do you think is this just a man thing that we get stupid and giddy because we we've been talking to someone who we once had a thing for or does this just relate to me?!
I also feel just a tad guilty as I have a long term girlfriend whom I love to bits and will marry, but I feel a little guilty for being overly happy after having had a 'conversation' with this lady.

smashey

Pi

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Lola123

Are you sure ur not a girl??!!! That happens to us all the time when we've been talkin to boys (minus the long term partner though. Ur bold!)

SlinkyToo

Its called the 'Yahoo Effect'. People chat on messenger and feel a connection way stronger than they would with someone sitting beside them.

I did a study on it in College, with a baseline of 99 women. 90 of those women said they felt a strong connection after only 2 chats.

Imagination and the internet are a wonderful facilitator.

Combine this with your crush and you have all the makings of an affair.

You are by no means the first man to do feel like this either.

Kintarō Hattori

smashey wrote: »

Pi

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No it's not really. I don't really hate being me, but I feel a little stupid. I think this happens to guys.

SlinkyToo wrote: »

Its called the 'Yahoo Effect'. People chat on messenger and feel a connection way stronger than they would with someone sitting beside them.

I did a study on it in College, with a baseline of 99 women. 90 of those women said they felt a strong connection after only 2 chats.

Imagination and the internet are a wonderful facilitator.

Combine this with your crush and you have all the makings of an affair.

You are by no means the first man to do feel like this either.

That's quite interesting Slinky.... but I'm sure this effect isn't just limited to 'Messenger' as such. Don't people feel this way too sometimes after say a phone call or after having had a real short conversation with someone they haven't spoken too in a long time.

Robbo

My advice to you, start drinking heavily.

Kintarō Hattori

Robbo wrote: »

My advice to you, start drinking heavily.

OK brother, any excuse, but I didn't think it was really that bad.

humbert

eo980 wrote: »

No it's not really. I don't really hate being me, but I feel a little stupid. I think this happens to guys.



That's quite interesting Slinky.... but I'm sure this effect isn't just limited to 'Messenger' as such. Don't people feel this way too sometimes after say a phone call or after having had a real short conversation with someone they haven't spoken too in a long time.

I think perhaps nostalgia could be a factor too. So, gonna knock this marriage thing on the head and give it another shot or keep it on the dl and see where it goes?

SlinkyToo

It does happen on the phone too but to a lesser extent. I think you have already decided to see where it goes and you are just trying to rationalise the inevitable cheating that will occur.

As men we are slaves to our emotions (by which I mean our willies tricking is into thinking its our hearts talking).

Kintarō Hattori

Ha, no no I love the missus to bits and don't want to be with anyone else. I was just surprised at how stupidly happy I was to hear from the other person. It was almost like I didn't have control over my emotions.

I really posted this here though to find out if this has ever happened to anyone else? As far as I'm aware this does happen to other guys. Is it a reason we sometimes do stupid things when it involves the ladies?

SlinkyToo wrote: »

It does happen on the phone too but to a lesser extent. I think you have already decided to see where it goes and you are just trying to rationalise the inevitable cheating that will occur.

As men we are slaves to our emotions (by which I mean our willies tricking is into thinking its our hearts talking).

See above Slinky!

Iago

maybe it's because sub-conciously you're not 100% happy in your relationship and as a result you're pining for something you think might be there with this other girl. Almost like a fairytale or something.

People in relationships that have some negative aspects often fantasise about previous partners and look back with rose tinted glasses.

also the fact that you know your partner is jealous, and that she reads boards makes me think this may not have been the wisest post you've ever made

humbert

Yeah it's happened me before. Sometimes you get all the fun happy warm feelings from the good times you've had with the person before, coupled with a more mature relationship from the growing up you've done in the mean time.

Though sometimes you don't and it just gets messy and complicated all over again:(

Kintarō Hattori

No I'm definetly 100% happy with my relationship. I don't want anyone else, I don't want to be with anyone else, I plan on marrying my missus, I was just shocked and surprised (happily) to have heard again from this person I hadn't heard from in years.

SlinkyToo

Chemically love lasts for 6 months or less and when you meet someone you are attracted to, the endorphines are released and suddenly your in love again and your partner is left behind mentally for a while.

At least until you have a tommy tank and then all is well again.

Binomate

You should probably kill yourself op. You sound a little emo anyway.

Vegeta

Binomate wrote: »

You should probably kill yourself op. You sound a little emo anyway.

lol

Kintarō Hattori

Binomate wrote: »

You should probably kill yourself op. You sound a little emo anyway.

Right then. Hadn't planned on that. I'm definetly not the emo type. I've never used the ignore function before....
Hmnnn this thread isn't really turning out the way I had imagined in my head.

Beruthiel

eo980 wrote: »

OK brother, any excuse, but I didn't think it was really that bad.

Oh, take it from me, it is that bad.
In my professional opinion, I'd go with the same suggestion as Robbo, for the sake of your sanity.
Best of luck,
you're gonna need it.
B

Iago

eo980 wrote: »

No I'm definetly 100% happy with my relationship. I don't want anyone else, I don't want to be with anyone else, I plan on marrying my missus, I was just shocked and surprised (happily) to have heard again from this person I hadn't heard from in years.

I think you're trying to convince yourself, (and her if she happens to read) more than us.

Don't worry I understand your situation, I've been in it myself. Which is why I also understand that you need to come to that realisation yourself before you'll take any action. I won't offer any advice, as you'll just reply with how happy you are and how off the mark I am, and I don't know anything about you or your relationship in the first place!

but good luck anyway.

Earthhorse

eo980 wrote: »

Right then. Hadn't planned on that. I'm definetly not the emo type.

Maybe you should change your username to emo980?

eo980 wrote: »

Hmnnn this thread isn't really turning out the way I had imagined in my head.

That's AH for you. I know the feeling you're talking about though. You're feeling so happy and then you're like "Why am I feeling so happy, it's not like anything happened?". And then you think "I'm this happy just from talking to her. Is that normal?". And the answer is no, it's not. Run for the hills!

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Robbo wrote: »

My advice to you, start drinking heavily.

Agreed.
You may also have to lock yourself in a dark room and shun all human contact.

Terry

eo980 wrote: »

Right then. Hadn't planned on that. I'm definetly not the emo type. I've never used the ignore function before....
Hmnnn this thread isn't really turning out the way I had imagined in my head.

I can clean it up and move it to PI of you want.

Spud83

It’s called an EGO dumbass. You obviously consider the fact that she still thinks of you years later as a boost to your ego.

Kintarō Hattori

Hey Terry,

Thanks for the offer. It definetly didn't go the way I thought it would and it's not a personal issue as such, I'm not struggling with anything here. So if it's not too much hassle you can either leave it here or throw it in the recycle bin if possible.

alanmurphy83 wrote: »

It’s called an EGO dumbass. You obviously consider the fact that she still thinks of you years later as a boost to your ego.

No I'm wayyyy too nice to have an ego! And less of the dumbass remarks thanks! G'ssss.

Beruthiel

Terry wrote: »

I can clean it up and move it to PI of you want.

Don't bother.
This problem is waaaaaay beyond anything the good people in PI can help with.

Earthhorse

eo980 wrote: »

No I'm wayyyy too nice to have an ego!

Maybe you should change your username to ego9...aw forget it!

Kintarō Hattori

Beruthiel wrote: »

Don't bother.
This problem is waaaaaay beyond anything the good people in PI can help with.

Whhhhaattttt? Awww now c'mon, there is no problem here. I can't say it loudly enough, There is NO problem. I was just stating something.

Pigman II

Did she look like Julie Delpy from "Before Sunrise" (or even Sunset). I find all my fleeting cyber romances look exactly like her and are just as charming and smart.

Pi

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Mmmmm, Pi.

The_B_Man

lol at this point i'd just like to rub it in ur face that i was in the exact same situation as u, ie seeing a girl u used to fancy and all the feelings coming back, except im single so i was able to elaborate on our "conversation", and discover that despite her girl next door innocence and aura of naivety, she is in fact, quite the filthy little so and so! it was bliss!!

so in yore face, OP!!

Kintarō Hattori

The_B_Man wrote: »

so in yore face, OP!!

I should never have hit 'New Thread'.

Tigger

eo980 wrote: »

Right then. Hadn't planned on that. I'm definetly not the emo type. I've never used the ignore function before....
Hmnnn this thread isn't really turning out the way I had imagined in my head.

the fact of the matter is that you have a ghost realationship with this girl
unfinished business its the way we are programmed
now you jhave three options but before i go on rember that hum,an males are also programmed to kill, hunt and not have televisions so theres no reason to do something just because we are wired that way
1 put it aside tell yerself that you need to letbthis go and that it cant happen
2 leave yer girl and chase the short term higt that the endorphines give you
3 cheat either emotional;ly physically or both

its not something to be worried or guilty about

b

Pigman II

rbd wrote: »

3 cheat either emotional;ly physically or both

Option 3b please.

Kintarō Hattori

Ehhh there are no options here full stop. I don't have any decisions to make. I'm not choosing one lady over another.
I was just surprised at how it made me feel and I was wondering was that type of reaction limited to me or was it as I suspected a typical male thing.

I will NOT be doing anything about this because there is no problem!

Tigger

eo980 wrote: »

Ehhh there are no options here full stop. I don't have any decisions to make. I'm not choosing one lady over another.
I was just surprised at how it made me feel and I was wondering was that type of reaction limited to me or was it as I suspected a typical male thing.

I will NOT be doing anything about this because there is no problem!

its a typical human thing

stop letting the windup merchants have soooo much fun

MOH

eo980 wrote: »

Ehhh there are no options here full stop. I don't have any decisions to make. I'm not choosing one lady over another.

Threesome it is then.

Lands Leaving

eo980 wrote: »

Ehhh there are no options here full stop. I don't have any decisions to make. I'm not choosing one lady over another.
I was just surprised at how it made me feel and I was wondering was that type of reaction limited to me or was it as I suspected a typical male thing.

I will NOT be doing anything about this because there is no problem!

Simple, just tell her you want to meet up, and bring your girlfriend along to introduce her. Everyones friends! And then you can size up who's better, with them both there you can compare important factors such as breast size, breast size, weight, breast size, and em, you know, teeth or something.

Or threesome.

Or just fcuk her to get it out of your system (and get somethin inta hers wha!)

TerrorFirmer

Just thinking about the Minnie Driver incident, they would probably find you in 10 different bags if she ever happened to see this

but yes, it's always nice to talk to someone you used to have something for, whether it was mutual or not.

Kintarō Hattori

HavoK wrote: »

Just thinking about the Minnie Driver incident, they would probably find you in 10 different bags if she ever happened to see this

but yes, it's always nice to talk to someone you used to have something for, whether it was mutual or not.

Jesus Havok you have a good memory! And thank you for seeing it the way I saw it.

Pj!

Robbo wrote: »

My advice to you, start drinking heavily.

Have to disagree,
you'll only end up (when you're pissed) telling mates and strangers about how wonderful she is and texting her very embarrassing stuff.

Hate that.

SlinkyToo

Yeah introduce your Gf to the old flame, that will really make things better.

Your old flame will see you as a typical henpeck Irishman and your GF will see you as a leechy git.

Problem solved.

Gran Hermano

Did you ask her to cyber?

It'll be all fun and games 'til her indoors finds your chat histories.